Member Questionnaire 1 (TheWholeEnglish)
What is beauty? What is love?

Oh, god, guys this is such a loaded question...

Um, ok, well, there's no such thing as either really, because we made them up, but the things I percieve of as beautiful all revolve around time. I think the ephemeral nature lf life is beautiful. There was a passage in Nausea where Sarte draws this metaphore between the dying notes of a song, and life. He talks about how each note is beautiful on its own, but it wouldn't be if it didn't propel itself forward to an end, and towards the next note. It's fleeting, but otherwise it would hand in the air like as a sad, languishing sound.

Great book, btw.

I don't know what love is.
What are your most important values?

I don't have any I don't think. I'm very detached.

I have trouble explaining to people that I see the world as beautiful the way it is. Everything passing--happiness, sadness, cruelty, brutality--in its own right to exist. I don't want to say I'm not judgemental, because that isn't the case. I also can't say I'm unempathetic, because I'm easily moved. But I'm detached.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?

No. I'm an athiest.

At one point in time (and I supposed I still do) I had a very strong attachement to the transcendental idea of "oversoul"--the connectedness in all things. In hunduhism I believe this is called Brahmen.

I can feel that sometimes.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?

Wars happen. The miltary exists. Power exists.

I will say that those Coexist bumperstickers get on my nerves to no end. Like, seriously guys? Coexist? That's the least constructive bit of corporate idealism that's ever existed. I guess it's there to make people feel like they care about "causes"...that maybe they're "making a difference, man".

Sorry if that offends anyone.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?

Conversations? Like, with people? Ha.

But, yeah, anything really. See my coexist comment above.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?

Yeah, sure. I exercise and stuff. Medicine is cool to learn about. I went on a date with a doctor once, and he had a book of parasitic disease on his coffee table and we spent about an hour reading it.
What do you think of daily chores?

What? Does anyone like those?

...like, seriously....
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.

I like Lost in Translation. Also, Wes Anderson films.

I like Jane Austen.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?

I don't cry much. PMS? Does that count?

Lots of stuff makes me smile. I like humor.

ILEs do because they're funny.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

I like gardens a lot. Like, a whole lot. Especially if there are magnolia trees, or cherry blossoms.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

I think everyone would say something different about my weaknesses. Impulsiveness might be one. Neuroticism another.

I dislike almost everything about me, but I've learned to be ok with that. I'm actually pretty happy fighting with myself all the time.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

I can do three pullups, so, I'm pretty strong.

I already mostly said I don't. I ha e pretty decent self esteem, though.

I don't know how to explain that to anyone.
In what areas of your life would you like help?

Um, I would love it if someone would fill out forms for me, and/or pick a grad school for me so I don't have to.

Also, I'm short...could you reach that top shelf for me?
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.p

So, I took a graduate class my last semester in school. I took it because I idealized the subject, and the professor teaching it, and the people in the class. It was not my strong subject, or one that interested me. I wound up failing because I never finished my final paper. I completed about half of it. I took an incomplete in the class, and had a year after to do the paper. I literally spent a whole year saying to myself "I need to do that paper". And I just didn't. I cried about it a lot. I felt guilty. I just could not get myself to do it.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?

I dislike sentimentality, poorly hidden manipulation (my mother is an IEE, and an unhealthy enneagram 2), empty statements (example: Coexist), rudeness, intollerance, and shortsightedness.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

I'm terrified of it. And I hate talking about it. Although, as reticent as I am to admit, I'm a very romantic and sexual person.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

I won't raise a child, but if I did, it's education would come before everything. Also, with that, I would want the child to learn the value of humility.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

When I was a teenagerand I found out about factory farming, I became a vegan. Shortly after I started dating a boy who had this weird thing about fruits and vegetables. He literally only at meats and carbs. I used to make us separate meals, his with meats, mine with veggies, etc.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

I passively watch society. Capitalism is a big one.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?

I'm really not good at maintaining friendships. There's one man I talk to that I really hope I never lose touch with. He most certainly doesn't see our relationship as anything significant. He's very extraverted, and personable. He's the only person I know that I respect, don't get bored with, and at the same time am not intimidated by. He always manages to calm me down.

When we're together I get worked up about one thing or another and he makes a light joke, and agrees, and I feel at ease, so I joke back, and tell him he's wonderful.
How do you behave around strangers?

It depends. Sometimes I'm very shy, and others I'm very gregarious. I haven't figured out the rhyme or reason to that yet, though.