Was in the middle of my neverending post when I noticed the (overwhelming) addition of new ones. Since I've been plugging away at this for hours, and the amount of responses demand many more, I'll just throw in my incomplete post for now...
She's neurotic, stressed, and overworked. I am tempted to disagree that my mother = ESTj, though I may be biased towards my mother and ESTjs, so I'll just present some more facts:Originally Posted by implied
i want to say INFp. INFj maybe. i think you write like someone with some control over. maybe you're even ENFj?
your views on morals sound like an INFp. not very rigid at all. INFjs have very clear ideas on what is right/wrong, who does right/wrong. i don't know what the other INFjs have to say about it.
your mom sounds like an ESTj in a way.. stereotypes about ESTjs be damned, she sounds more ESTj than ISFj. she could possibly be a very neurotic and extremely stressed ISFj pushed to the point of neurosis, but i say overworked ESTj -
Fury is his line of defense in a situation of emergency in which he feels otherwise helpless. The aim of his fury is to mobilize his partner, and when this is achieved, he calms down.
- My mother considers me to be logical where she is emotional (Sense > Sensibility), whereas my father thinks I'm more like my mother.
- My father hates her indecisiveness.
- She has been easily riled by my "argumentative" reaction to her lectures on morality for as long as I can remember. An attempt at a clean example from when I was 4:
Tried teaching me the importance of picking up the things I left on the floor -> I grudgingly accepted -> Told me to pick up after others as well -> "Why? Shouldn't they pick things up for themselves too?" -> Threatened violence if I didn't "stop arguing" -> "But I'm not!", since I didn't know what "arguing" meant until I was 8-10 -> Beats the crap out of me -> Waste my energy and time fighting back in blind rage -> Becomes even more angered because "Kids aren't supposed to fight back"
(Crap, I suck at concision)
My aunt, on the other hand, responded to the same question by saying "If you actively help others even when they don't expect you to, they will be touched and feel obliged to help you in the future", which was an acceptable response to me, and made me wish I had been raised up by her instead. Besides, now that I think of it, I wasn't "arguing" in the strictest sense of the world, only questioning the validity of her words -- though to point that out to her now would only earn me a tantrum from her. She often accuses me of thinking that I'm right and everyone else is wrong, but to me, it's a matter of "I don't think I'm right, but more importantly, YOU may be wrong".
It would be interesting if you could elaborate on how you determined ESTj > ISFj for my mother. I agree that I have decent command ofI identify more with INFp/INTp more than INFj/ENFj, especially with INxp humour, though the Beta Quadra feels most foreign to me. It's like they don't say as much as the other Quadras, and the visual humour initially feels like a (pleasant) blow to the head... Though in real life, I can imagine myself opening up under influence of that "giddy" feeling. Thanks for pointing those out, though, because I really can't argue much against INFp -- For the time being, anyway. I think I'll scramble through the forums some more to find the distinction.
Indeed, they are anything but duals. During the times in which my mother dealt me physical punishment, my father could do nothing but tell her to stop. Occasionally, when a fight had been drawn out for too long, he would interfere by threatening physical violence on either party. I felt stabbed in the heart whenever he applied pressure to my head -- even though he never inflicted as much physical pain as my mother did -- but it was effective, and I wouldn't want to invoke that side of his too often. My mother didn't seem as affected by it. Heck, she'd even persist in pecking him until he was ready to punch her in the faceFortunately, I got tired of all the fighting when adolescence hit, and she thinks it's shameful to beat a grown kid. Nowadays I try to ignore her and carry on with my activities, and go to sleep when she's about to explode, though my father has always been much better at it.
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