Member Questionnaire (Nunki)
Love means different things under different circumstances to different people. Right now I want to say that to love someone is basically to care about them: to want them to experience those things which fulfill them and avoid those things which harm them. That means taking pleasure from a loved one's pleasure, and pain from a loved one's pain.What is beauty? What is love?
A thing is probably beautiful to the extent that it a) demonstrates a balance of opposites (meaning there is nothing excessive or lacking in it) and b) does so on a broad scale: in other words, to the extent that it's complex. Whether a thing is beautiful or not depends partly on the object itself and partly on its context (psychological and physical). For this reason, a simple object might create a great impression of beauty and a complex one might do the opposite.
I reject morality in favor of doing whatever I like, which means, among other things, not provoking my conscience. As far as values in general go, the thing I most value is having a goal to work toward. A long-term goal is preferable to a short-term goal, because a long-term goal draws me along for a greater span of time and is more satisfying, when I achieve it, for my having waited. Aside from that, I greatly value freedom; the more freedom people have, the more capable humanity is of advancing.What are your most important values?
I have no spiritual or religious beliefs, although I'm extremely open-minded toward any belief that can be expressed coherently, which rules out most theology. I hold no religious or spiritual beliefs because none of those beliefs ring true to me; they all seem like farfetched explanations for mysterious but ultimately mundane phenomena. And even if some of those explanations did happen to be true, such as the idea that something called a ghost emerges from a corpse, to the extent that the explanations for such things were worked out, such beliefs would stop seeming spiritual or religious; they would become more mundane facts of reality. Another reason I'm not spiritual or religious is probably because I feel very little of that awe toward the world and broader cosmos; the world is just a lump of rock to me, and so I feel no pressing need to invent explanations for it. And even if I did feel amazed by everything, none of it would seem to require an explanation. Ultimately, nothing requires an explanation: everything comes into the world unexplained, and everything can be left that way.Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
Any oppressive regime deserves to be overthrown, and sometimes war is a means of doing that. I'm not really a fan of war--it seems like there should always be a more graceful and less destructive way to achieve the same good as war achieves--but I'm not exactly anti-war either. Really, I'm very iffy about war; this isn't a question I've bothered resolving for myself, and I feel no pressing need to do so.Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
Power is the ability to affect things. Power is something that appeals a great deal to me, as well as to any reasonable person. The main ways I experience power are by rejecting rationality (I like to believe as many absurdities as possible, and enjoy contradicting myself), being unique, and by daydreaming about what I'd do if I were a god.
If I have a long conversation, it's probably not going to stay too long on one subject. There's only so much you can say about one thing before you run out of material or start beating a dead horse. Common conversation topics for me, though, are philosophy, people's inner workings, gossip, and religion. My interests include those as well as reading, writing, listening to and composing music, general self-expression, and a few other things. I don't think there's any fundamental reason I like these things; a lot of them do tie into my goals in life, though, and so I do see them, in part, as means to ends.What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
I'm very focused on my appearance, but otherwise no, I'm not especially focused on my body. My body is kind of just there; and usually I prefer not to be made too aware of it. I like to lose myself in things, body and soul, not be reminded of myself. I am very health-conscious, though, even if simple consciousness is about as far as it goes. For example, I use baking soda as deodorant (it's effective), because regular deodorant has poisons in it. A health problem is about the worst thing I can think of, because when something goes wrong with your health, you can't walk away: you're locked up in a cage. All you can do is let nature run its course, and it can be a very unpleasant course.Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I'm not particularly interested in health and medicine as topics of conversation, but they're not the worst topics either. I don't like talking about most bodily functions and directly bodily methods of care, though; when people start talking about such things, I tend to feel disgusted; e.g. when I mentioned baking soda deodorant. This might be because I don't particularly like my body.
I don't have daily chores. I let things pile up for days, until they're ready to be dealt with in one smooth motion. That saves time and effort. What do I think of things like washing the dishes? Such tasks can be a minor inconvenience or a way to kill time and let my mind drift freely. In general, I have no strong feelings toward daily chores.What do you think of daily chores?
Favorite Movies--Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Heavenly Creatures, Edward Scissorhands, American Beauty, V for Vendetta, Brazil (1985), The Nightmare Before ChristmasBooks or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.:
Favorite Books--The Grapes of Wrath, Interview with the Vampire, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-glass, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, Neverwhere, 1984, The Trial, The Gormenghast trilogy, Harry Potter series, Wuthering Heights, The Bonfire of the Vanities, The Fountainhead, Crime and Punishment, Being and Nothingness
The last time I cried was a long time ago while I was watching a video on Youtube of a girl chatting online a few hours before she took her life. I cried because I felt that she was an unappreciated, valuable human being, now lost forever, and because there was such a sharp contrast between her outward happiness and the sorrow inside her, the former emphasizing the latter. I also related to her, and this gave the video a cathartic dimension, as displays of one's own unhappiness generally have.What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
If I'm smiling, it's usually to look friendly: a fake smile to make a good impression. Otherwise, I'm probably laughing at something, and my sense of humor is impossible to explain. It's largely normal, but also very weird, but not weird in any well-defined way. Surreal things often make me laugh. To me, Franz Kafka's The Trial is hilarious; I was astonished to see, at a museum, a representation of it that looked like a picture of hell.
When there are not other people around; I'm very self-conscious in the presence of others (and yet I love being around people). When I'm immersed in a task like writing this answer. When I'm in an environment, such as a museum, whose beauty or other striking characteristics cause me to become absorbed.Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
There are too many things I dislike about myself for me to put them in a comprehensive list. The worst thing about myself is a lack of motivation; I let good opportunities slip away, all the time, because I won't act until the moment seems ripe. Always I'm in the wrong mood or don't have enough energy; the moment is never ripe. Other people might say that a big weakness of mine is a lack of attentiveness, which gives me the appearance of having an absurdly bad short-term memory (probably not a false appearance). Shyness, of course; that's a huge fault of mine. I'm ridiculously self-conscious around most people, and, as a result, often will barely talk. I've been told that I'm hard-to-please, as well, and this is a fair criticism; I'm much too picky (I'm the person who stands before the side mirror of an automobile shifting strands of hair around for minutes on end).What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I'm an especially original person--I look at and do things my own way.What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I would like to become more immersed in the outer world (going places, doing things, etc.), particularly the social world, being someone who enjoys people but lives in the middle of nowhere and is intensely shy.In what areas of your life would you like help?
Yes, all the time. I do the same thing pretty much every day, and I'd rather be doing something different. The chief thing that causes it is the fact that I'm very isolated from other people, who would present me with fresh opportunities to do things. I'm isolated from other people because I'm shy/self-conscious (mostly about my appearance/body; also afraid of my personality being unappealing: I have professionally diagnosed social anxiety disorder) and, possibly worse, can't drive. My reaction to it is to be very grouchy, albeit in a way that I don't express openly, because that isn't pleasant to be around. Also, to think of ways to correct the situation while hardly ever acting on them.Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.:
I tend to dislike characteristics associated with a phlegmatic temperament: slothfulness, low physical energy, lack of emotional expressiveness, disengagement, exaggerated go-with-the-flow-ness (I appreciate it when people are willing to go against the grain, as long as it's not spoiling what I would consider to be a positive interaction). Another thing that tends to put me off is someone who feels the need to be detached and logical about everything; I find that dry and stifling.What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
For the things listed, it has to be mentioned that I can be guilty too. At times, I'm very detached, very slothful, etc. That's part of what makes it so unpleasant in other people; I recognize it in myself and want to get away from it, and here I am being exposed to more of it.
As far as what qualities I like in other people, the answer is largely implicit in what I said.
Sex is extremely desirable and only worthwhile in the context of a relationship. I'm single, and entering a relationship is high up on my list of goals in life. I want that intense level of companionship. I do wonder, though, whether I'm suited for it. There's the whole hedgehog's dilemma thing: when two people get closer, they run the risk of pricking each other. And I've found that spending a lot of time around one person tends to cause one of us to start feeling irritated by the other's presence. And I can be very easily annoyed, at times; little things start to drive me nuts if I'm continually exposed to them. I think that's a surmountable issue, though.How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I want intelligence, drive, creativity, originality, and the opposite of the types of traits listed as qualities I most dislike in people. I imagine my ideal romantic partner either being a feisty, energetic sort of person with a quality of playfulness about them or someone who is quiet, sensitive, dreamy, and waiting to be claimed. Opposites, really.
I would try to equip the child to be his or her own person rather than the person they're told to be. To that end, I would be concerned about their physical well-being and their education.If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
It's unlikely a good friend of mine would say something that really clashes with my beliefs, especially since I'm usually pretty accepting of other people's viewpoints. If they were a good friend of mine, I would stand a decent chance of saying nothing so as not to clash unnecessarily: a good friendship is more pleasant than announcing the fact that you're right. I do like to state my views in sometimes dogmatic tones, though, so I might voice my disagreement if I thought doing so wouldn't spoil the mood and negatively affect their view of me.A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
Society as a whole is almost meaningless to me. It's not something I have any direct contact with; it's just a vague abstraction. This has a lot to do with the fact that I'm a pretty unconventional person; there are not a lot of people who share my views and interests. So I feel a bit cut off from them, and have limited dealings with them. They border on being mere statistics to me; I can't make "society as a whole" vivid and real; I can only experience and care about the people who exist on a level that is, to me, concrete and personal.Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.:
A prevalent social problem, today and throughout history, is moralism, which attempts to replace the pursuit of general welfare with a list of impersonal rules to be followed mindlessly.
Friends aren't always chosen; sometimes you just end up with them. When I do choose to pursue a friendship with someone, I do so because that person seems like an individual who will be particularly beneficial to have in my life as a friend (which entails me being of benefit to them, because mutual benefit pleases me and is a large part of what friendship is). They are someone I have hopes of being able to do entertaining things with, and, usually, someone I have hopes of entering a relationship with (if you're going to put effort into something, you may as well put it into something with the highest chance of the highest payoff).How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
I don't know how I would describe the way I behave around my friends. For one thing, the way I act around one friend differs from the way I act around another friend; and also, it varies with just one friend. Generally, I try to be pleasant and engaging. I avoid negative subjects and am always searching my mind for things to discuss, lest an awkward silence occur. I try to keep the energy level reasonably elevated.
Again, it varies. Usually I'm friendly and polite, in a very quiet sort of way. Occasionally I'm very stoic and impersonal.How do you behave around strangers?
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Originally Posted by Absurd
Let me know what you think.
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(as per tcaudilllg)
