IEI - SLE duality being difficult to solidify (INFp & ESTp)

[betterthan]

Does anyone else feel like sometimes this is a relationship that is hard to form? In every duality experience I have had, there is always this distance...we don't want to get close even though we feel pulled to one another. It's like a pull without glue, it's fragile and not binding. A waiting game, nobody moves - yet we are drawn to each other. It's like you talk to one another and share, and in any other relationship or friendship, the kinds of conversations you're having would lay the ground works for a closer relationship, but not here.

It's like to me EVERY other relationship where I am drawn to someone or like someone is so linear...we like each other, speak, speak some more; make concrete steps towards friendship; it's smooth and easier and i can see where it's going; with sles I can never see where it's going, except that it's really likely to just slip through my fingers, but not because we didn't really love each other or want each other (platonic duals, romantic duals...). With SLE's it's like we talk, it feels great, but you didn't become any 'closer' in any concrete way...it's like there is no glue holding you together. It's like you're filled up with these good feelings (I am, I assume they are too if duality is aalll that) but it's never a concrete relationship. There's a lack of trust in the connection, in the others feelings, it's like you both wait for the other to come to you and they don't so your relationship is lost, with always that hope or excitement that it might fall together again. There are two dual friends I am kind of waiting for this to happen with. It doesn't seem as though you can 'make it happen', it has to fall together.

My boyfriend is kind of cynical or pessimistic about people's closeness/investment/affection for him (Fi Polr I guess) which is why I think he is quite distant. When he likes someone he will set out to text them, hang out etc, but he often becomes doubtful and retreats. Maybe this is one of the main reasons duality wouldn't hit off. I also feel like with a female-male duality, whether attracted to each other or not, there's always this kind of power play or whatever of 'you do it' 'you talk to me' and when things become quiet, you drop out like 'they should of come to me'; the sle will pursue on an impulse...but they have a lot of impulses to follow and they often seem to have this casual f you attitude (even though strong feelings are obvious lol but nice attempt sle's... ). And the IEI is kind of like the victim/princess like 'i won't let someone mess up my flow, gonna have a good time, they can find me' - it's like this indignant attitude haha. At least I have had that myself lol. And with friendships...in my experience, it's like I feel like I like them alot but I don't know how to approach connecting to them to become closer and I can't ever quite be sure of how they feel about me.

Anyone else had the experience of this duality being difficult to solidify?