My (SEE) friend met this guy and I think he is ILI (he looks like one plus other clues). I am curious as to what dating behavior (or generally behavior of an ILI who might be interested in someone) one can expect from ILIs? Anyone?
ILI-INTp dating behavior
My (SEE) friend met this guy and I think he is ILI (he looks like one plus other clues). I am curious as to what dating behavior (or generally behavior of an ILI who might be interested in someone) one can expect from ILIs? Anyone?
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
They do and say nothing; they are introverts. They need to be approached and open up over time
-
Dual type(as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Wow that's insightful.Originally Posted by Maritsa
Hey, guys. Introverts don't do or say anything.
^
Introvert.
"[Scapegrace,] I don't know how anyone can stand such a sinister and mean individual as you." - Maritsa Darmandzhyan
Brought to you by socionix.com
I do and say things.
Pfft haha lol. Yeah ILI-Te can be somewhat open from my experience. Also, lol.
Ha, yeah. ILI-Te will be more stoic than LIE-0/-Te, but more outspoken about their interest than LIE-Ni, for some reason.
Subtype can really influence the way how one acts. I've described it as the "badge" one wears, or the face you show the world.
The LIE-Ni will have more of a "Victim face" (not literally, metaphorically) and have a stronger Victim vibe on the outside/first encounter than ILI-Te, who will try to suppress Victim-ness more.
At least this has been my experience.
I would rate Victim-ness from least to most like this: LIE-Te, LIE-0, ILI-Te, LIE-Ni, ILI-0, EIE-Fe, ILI-Ni, EIE-0, IEI-Fe, EIE-Ni, IEI-0, IEI-Ni.
The first thing that you encounter with another person is their role function, which Renin calls their zone of fears. The role function of the ILI is Si, this means that they will exhibit a strong degree of uneasiness about their own physical perfection. They will feel awkward or ugly, so complementing them will help, and do it often. However by complementing them you are addressing their zone of fears they will become both leery of the complement and very cocky because of it, only to crash suddenly if their are not given more positive feedback.
They will exhibit not merely the perception of their own ugliness, but the fear of Si is also the fear of giving pleasure. They will not desire to humor a person flirting with them. They will fear attachments, they will fear that they are making you dependent on them. They will fear that they cannot really be fun. They will fear that they cannot really be sexually satisfying. They will act like an inhibited "Mister Peabody" good old "Poindexter." Think Sponge Bob Squarepants. That is their self image. They cannot really be fun, you can't really like them. They do not feel comfortable giving pleasure. (After the relationship turns sexual, he will need lots of complements here about sex.)
Their mobilizing function will kick in, which is Minus style Fi. This is a sense of abhorrence. They have a strong desire to avoid the wrong people for them and so they will be dismissive of that person flirting with them, who they will assume is the wrong girl for them anyway.
The minus Fi acts however to fill them with pride. They will be likely to have a crush on a girl that is far away or too good for them. They will patiently wait for their true love to arrive or open up to them. You must find out who this distant more perfect girl is, and get rid of her.
They have a hard time with women in the here and now, they are more comfortable with hypothetical women. You have to get rid of the hypothetical woman. The ILI will treat the hypothetical woman as if she is real. The Ni dominance of the ILI causes him to treat all hypotheticals as real!
She must demonstrate her dominate Se, ILIs have no independent willpower and will cave to her pressure, but it might take a while. Se is suggestive to him. He will yield to her persistence.
They are sexual victims in erotic attitude. Be strong willed and forceful, yet be reassuring and complementing. He will cave, he has weak Se and it is "suggestive" which means he cannot resist it.
Socionics -
the16types.info
Assassination, inception and Stockholm syndrome in one post. Impressive!
Now you know where you've been going wrong all these years @lungs . You haven't applied sufficient ultraviolence.
I'd love to read the SLI version of this... maybe a new post on Delta forum?The first thing that you encounter with another person is their role function, which Renin calls their zone of fears. The role function of the ILI is Si, this means that they will exhibit a strong degree of uneasiness about their own physical perfection. They will feel awkward or ugly, so complementing them will help, and do it often. However by complementing them you are addressing their zone of fears they will become both leery of the complement and very cocky because of it, only to crash suddenly if their are not given more positive feedback.
They will exhibit not merely the perception of their own ugliness, but the fear of Si is also the fear of giving pleasure. They will not desire to humor a person flirting with them. They will fear attachments, they will fear that they are making you dependent on them. They will fear that they cannot really be fun. They will fear that they cannot really be sexually satisfying. They will act like an inhibited "Mister Peabody" good old "Poindexter." Think Sponge Bob Squarepants. That is their self image. They cannot really be fun, you can't really like them. They do not feel comfortable giving pleasure. (After the relationship turns sexual, he will need lots of complements here about sex.)
Their mobilizing function will kick in, which is Minus style Fi. This is a sense of abhorrence. They have a strong desire to avoid the wrong people for them and so they will be dismissive of that person flirting with them, who they will assume is the wrong girl for them anyway.
The minus Fi acts however to fill them with pride. They will be likely to have a crush on a girl that is far away or too good for them. They will patiently wait for their true love to arrive or open up to them. You must find out who this distant more perfect girl is, and get rid of her.
They have a hard time with women in the here and now, they are more comfortable with hypothetical women. You have to get rid of the hypothetical woman. The ILI will treat the hypothetical woman as if she is real. The Ni dominance of the ILI causes him to treat all hypotheticals as real!
She must demonstrate her dominate Se, ILIs have no independent willpower and will cave to her pressure, but it might take a while. Se is suggestive to him. He will yield to her persistence.
They are sexual victims in erotic attitude. Be strong willed and forceful, yet be reassuring and complementing. He will cave, he has weak Se and it is "suggestive" which means he cannot resist it.
[| NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)
You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life. - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.
humThe first thing that you encounter with another person is their role function, which Renin calls their zone of fears. The role function of the ILI is Si, this means that they will exhibit a strong degree of uneasiness about their own physical perfection. They will feel awkward or ugly, so complementing them will help, and do it often. However by complementing them you are addressing their zone of fears they will become both leery of the complement and very cocky because of it, only to crash suddenly if their are not given more positive feedback.
They will exhibit not merely the perception of their own ugliness, but the fear of Si is also the fear of giving pleasure. They will not desire to humor a person flirting with them. They will fear attachments, they will fear that they are making you dependent on them. They will fear that they cannot really be fun. They will fear that they cannot really be sexually satisfying. They will act like an inhibited "Mister Peabody" good old "Poindexter." Think Sponge Bob Squarepants. That is their self image. They cannot really be fun, you can't really like them. They do not feel comfortable giving pleasure. (After the relationship turns sexual, he will need lots of complements here about sex.)
Their mobilizing function will kick in, which is Minus style Fi. This is a sense of abhorrence. They have a strong desire to avoid the wrong people for them and so they will be dismissive of that person flirting with them, who they will assume is the wrong girl for them anyway.
The minus Fi acts however to fill them with pride. They will be likely to have a crush on a girl that is far away or too good for them. They will patiently wait for their true love to arrive or open up to them. You must find out who this distant more perfect girl is, and get rid of her.
They have a hard time with women in the here and now, they are more comfortable with hypothetical women. You have to get rid of the hypothetical woman. The ILI will treat the hypothetical woman as if she is real. The Ni dominance of the ILI causes him to treat all hypotheticals as real!
She must demonstrate her dominate Se, ILIs have no independent willpower and will cave to her pressure, but it might take a while. Se is suggestive to him. He will yield to her persistence.
They are sexual victims in erotic attitude. Be strong willed and forceful, yet be reassuring and complementing. He will cave, he has weak Se and it is "suggestive" which means he cannot resist it.
Don't you expect you "provoke" in that case for them to take action? My mom does. Because in "provoking" you are asking for the person to cross boundaries.
Dual type
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
90% of this is untrue. and 50% is creepyThe first thing that you encounter with another person is their role function, which Renin calls their zone of fears. The role function of the ILI is Si, this means that they will exhibit a strong degree of uneasiness about their own physical perfection. They will feel awkward or ugly, so complementing them will help, and do it often. However by complementing them you are addressing their zone of fears they will become both leery of the complement and very cocky because of it, only to crash suddenly if their are not given more positive feedback.
They will exhibit not merely the perception of their own ugliness, but the fear of Si is also the fear of giving pleasure. They will not desire to humor a person flirting with them. They will fear attachments, they will fear that they are making you dependent on them. They will fear that they cannot really be fun. They will fear that they cannot really be sexually satisfying. They will act like an inhibited "Mister Peabody" good old "Poindexter." Think Sponge Bob Squarepants. That is their self image. They cannot really be fun, you can't really like them. They do not feel comfortable giving pleasure. (After the relationship turns sexual, he will need lots of complements here about sex.)
Their mobilizing function will kick in, which is Minus style Fi. This is a sense of abhorrence. They have a strong desire to avoid the wrong people for them and so they will be dismissive of that person flirting with them, who they will assume is the wrong girl for them anyway.
The minus Fi acts however to fill them with pride. They will be likely to have a crush on a girl that is far away or too good for them. They will patiently wait for their true love to arrive or open up to them. You must find out who this distant more perfect girl is, and get rid of her.
They have a hard time with women in the here and now, they are more comfortable with hypothetical women. You have to get rid of the hypothetical woman. The ILI will treat the hypothetical woman as if she is real. The Ni dominance of the ILI causes him to treat all hypotheticals as real!
She must demonstrate her dominate Se, ILIs have no independent willpower and will cave to her pressure, but it might take a while. Se is suggestive to him. He will yield to her persistence.
They are sexual victims in erotic attitude. Be strong willed and forceful, yet be reassuring and complementing. He will cave, he has weak Se and it is "suggestive" which means he cannot resist it.
Geez, you can write this down in your notebook, for this (or many more) IEI as well. o.O
Underline it, twice. Especially the "hypothetical woman" (or man) part.
I feel like this is a commonego problem. No?
ILI-Ni here, yep, it's a huge problem. The problem is that Ni goes haywire in romantic relationships, the visions get really dark, really fast. You've seen it happen all too often, it happened to someone you knew most likely. You knew it was too good to be true. She was such a nice girl, so young and pretty. She even kept his belly full and his balls dry... and she was also the town bicycle who was sleeping with all his friends behind his back! That two-timing backstabbling 10 dollar gold-digging whore, death is too good for that bitch! I'll tell Joe, he needs to know. 5 months later, Joe blows his own brains out when he confirms all the sorid details of his wife's love life. She was even named Tiffany, it couldn't get more cliche. The sorry fool...Geez, you can write this down in your notebook, for this (or many more) IEI as well. o.O
Underline it, twice. Especially the "hypothetical woman" (or man) part.
I feel like this is a common
Then, you meet a girl yourself, and she's everything you've ever wanted. Smart, pretty for her age, funny, aggressive in the bedroom and seeks sex frequently and with fervent passion, and she even praises you for the things you do both for her and for yourself. Supportive too, she isn't even worried about you getting laid off of work, she's confident you will find a better job soon that will be more fulfilling than the previous one despite the shit economy. It's a dream come true! Oh crap, this is a dream, it's too good, I'm gonna end up like Joe? He committed suicide when he found out about Tiffany, what if that's what's happening to me! What's she pulling behind my back? Does she have a reverse harem going and is she just stringing me along with her talk of kids and a marriage? Am I just her backup bitch boy who she'll marry if she can't get better dick before she slams into the wall and locks me into a sexless marriage who she'll just divorce rape 10 years later for the alimony payments? Why am I even being this stupid and driving to her house for another booty call? I should run, I should ghost this girl now before I get tied down in a position I cannot extricate myself from. Why am I being this dumb? Why am I knocking on her door fearing that her other boy toys are now bailing out the back after plowing all three holes?
Oh, she answered pretty quickly and looks awfully sultry and seductive. Oh thank god, no, wait, what if the other boy toys and she herself are just that damned good at bailing out before I even get here? What if (her tongue is now down your throat and she is practically raping you on the spot in her front room).
After sex: Oh man, that was amazing. I can't believe I thought she was like that Tiffany bitch. She'd never do that... or would she?
That's what it's like for Ni in the Ego block, nobody can cook up a good sinister plot quite like an Ni dominant. Our fear? That we ourselves are the victims of a sinister plot in a bad way. No good person wants to unknowingly be part of a harem, the lies and deceit necessary to maintain one by the harem lead are disgusting and vile enough, but to fall prey to such deceit yourself? Oh, the humiliation you'd feel, that utter sense of complete worthlessness, that you weren't enough to satisfy this person despite attempting to service every need you possibly could.
That's what it's like being the victim people, we secretly suspect you're gonna cheat on us no matter what we do! So we don't bother, we push you away as we desperately desire your embrace. I'm sorry, but that's how it is. It's a good thing aggressors like that sort of thing, the pushing past a certain amount of resistance and everything. If it wasn't for them I fear we'd never get laid, let alone reproduce.
This is mostly the case when you combine
I'm more E5, I seek understanding. Knowledge is power, know more, understand more. In that, you will find what you seek. At least I hope I do, I do want a good woman by my side as I breathe my last breath. My hidden agenda being "to love" as it is I want one to see all my flaws and accept me. Knowingly, lovingly, in a rather aggressive way, you get the point. Defy my Ni if you can, I do relish the prospect. Show me how, in this one instance, I was a fool. I eagerly await that response, the one instance where I was wrong despite all logical evidence. Lemme see how my cynical, misanthropic, dark sense of humor led right to the girl of my dreams as it really ought not to have...This is mostly the case when you combine
ILIs.... Whattaaa mess amirite?
I've a friend married to an ILI; it started out as drunken one night stand but he called her the next day. they hung out few times- clicked. she stayed bit distance until he showed increasing interest and it was pretty straight forward: he asked her after two weeks of dating if she saw herself with husband and kids, she said yes and he agreed... And they started to regularly see each other. It was long distance in that he lived 2 hours away but she moved in with him after 6 months of dating bc her roommate dappled in cocaine a few times and drug deelers came to her house so she packed her bags and stayed at her grandmothers and in her car and his place for a few weeks until her classes ended and he insisted she move in. They were married this year. Totally cool couple- they bicker but it's light and amusing. No games.
The only problem I remember her having with him early on was that his ex was still weasingly around in his life and sent him inappropriate pics when she found out he had moved on and contacted him often- he also called my friend by his exes name a few times by accident and she stormed out each time. They go back and forth with who wears the pants in the relationship.. So overall pretty balanced. She says he understands and she feels like such a better person for being with him. And he adores her.
is ur friend a te-ili?
lmao asking after 2 weeks if she saw herself with husband and kids. Is it really that mormon-ish over there? :S
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
No.
He's just serial monogomist, that's his preference; nothing wrong with communicating to see if you want the same things out of life.
Why waste their time?
she said yes.apparently,it worked.how about easing up on that j thang of yoz.
Everybody wants to date ili. Yolo
True dat
ILI
7 46.67%
AbsurdEnough,
FoxOnStilts,
jet city woman,
RedBeard,
siuntal,
woofwoofl,
WorkaholicsAnon
LII
1 6.67%
Scapegrace
LSI
1 6.67%
davez
Other
6 40.00%
crazedratfugue,
FDG,
felafel,
Maritsa,
squirreltual,
Zero11
Ftr, I voted other just to slightly irritate you
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
I have never initiated unless it was clear the girl I liked was interested in me. This is very hard to tell and I would struggle with whether or not those behaviors are clear signs. If they would've just told me they liked me that would've solved everything. However, if a girl was too demonstrative and I didn't like her before that point, I often would try to avoid her. As a general rule, I must like her first, then see if she likes me in return.There was once a very pretty, very intelligent girl in high school that I doted on. I wanted to ask her out so bad, but instead asked her if she wanted to dissect a heart with me for extra credit. I was so nervous. I first like to see if they will do something of interest with me and then just see where it goes from there.
Last edited by Skepsis; 07-17-2013 at 01:13 AM.
Same.
Hypothetical date with ILI:
Me: So blah blah blah ha ha blah blah blah.
ILI: *death stare*
Me: Yeah so blah blah blah blah.
ILI: *death stare*
Me: Is there a problem?
ILI: *looks confused* No?
Me: Oh ok. blah bl-
ILI: *death stare*
Me: Never mind then...
Absurd: You Ti dominants sure say things I don't really know where to put.
labtard: fml
Absurd: Hah.
that's because u r a Ne sub
I am not sure I have consistent behavior since it depends on the person I'm dating. I'll straight up let someone know how I feel about them if asked or even if I'm feeling bold enough to in the moment, although I haven't always been that way. I'm sure someone else could objectively look at my patterns of behavior and figure out some through-line though. Generally, if I am responding or interacting at all, that is a good sign.
ILIs date?
Well, this guy is entirely hopeless. If you are interested in someone and just start out, you just don't go days without contact and don't call when you say you will call. You just don't. It might not be type-related (I sincerely hope it's not dear ILIs).
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
I might do that. Why? I don't like bothering people and being THAT person. I don't want to seem obnoxious. I am busy. I like to really think about them and about where to take them. Mostly, though, I wouldn't want to ruin it by interrupting them when they're busy at work, etc.
He asked how she was, showed concern about her crappy day, told her he would call her later so he can hear all about it, but never called. So it is not so much about not calling all the time, but to follow through when you promise you will call, especially when the person is having a rough time.
That being said, she does need a lot of attention and it is just a bad match...
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Oh, I think he cares about her in some fashion if he bothered with all of that lovingness. Personally, even follow-ups I intend to make sometimes I get distracted from. Because I'm not head over heels for the person? No. Because I literally don't understand time like people around me do.
I prefer people to just ask me to move in with them.
"[Scapegrace,] I don't know how anyone can stand such a sinister and mean individual as you." - Maritsa Darmandzhyan
Brought to you by socionix.com
I think she would prefer that, too.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
She should ask him. I don't see why people feel the need to jump through all those hoops. It's either going to work or not. Dating is a waste of time. You might as well test the relationship early.
Dating in America reminds me of how rich white people "teach" their kids to swim. Years and years of swimming lessons in pristine YMCA pools. Bubble blowing, floating, all that jazz. My mum threw me in a pond and told me to kick my arms and legs. It took three seconds.
She's doing this female role shit where she feels like she can't make plans and ask him on a date. If I were a man I would never get any action. Haha. She should just tell him "Friday at ten we're doing X so don't make plans with your WOW clan. "
"[Scapegrace,] I don't know how anyone can stand such a sinister and mean individual as you." - Maritsa Darmandzhyan
Brought to you by socionix.com
Sorry Kim, he's just not that interested in your friend.
Or at least, he has better things to do.
She asked him about it and he said he is very interested, which is the frustrating part.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
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