I always thought it was an enneagram thing ,Reactive vs Withdrawn ,from my experience with an E-6 ISTp and an e-5 ISTp ,both were delta, both ISTp.
is the sister e9 by any chance?
irl i am also one to "distance" myself from overly reactive people lol ,as far as consistent relationships go (work / living together)
but that said its probably a very complicated topic that crosses over to a neurological level
Here is an article that explains the background of emotional repression well
Repression of Emotions
Repression of emotions is one of the major causes of addictions, abuse, depression, and
disease in our culture. In many families, emotions are either repressed or expressed in abusive
ways. When children indicate a feeling of anger, the parent may punish them or shame them into
repressing it. “Go to your room until you can act like a lady,” is a common response. This shames
the child and makes him/her feel rejected. A healthier response would be to help the child identify
the feeling and to release it. “I see you’re feeling angry, let’s go and punch your punching bag.”
Another common response of parents that leads to repression and confusion is denial of the
feelings. Whatever the child says they may be feeling, such as angry, sad, or scared, the response
of the parent is, “Oh no, you’re not feeling that,” or “Be a big boy now and stop that!” The child
then learns to mistrust their own perceptions and repress what they feel. Children look around at
the older people in their lives and their mental video camera records what they see for use later
on. So they may see their mother using food or tranquilizers to numb her feelings, their father
drinking alcohol, an older brother smoking pot or a sister smoking cigarettes. When this child
begins to feel his or her own stress, they use one of these coping strategies to numb their own
emotions. This is how addictions begin in our lives.
In the diagram, you can see that repression of feelings will lead to many serious
complications. Millions of Americans take anti-depressant drugs because our whole society has
been taught to repress feelings with drugs. The popular drug Prozak was originally supposed to be
prescribed for a course of six months, to be used only in conjunction with psychotherapy. Now it
is given out like candy for indefinite periods of time and the therapy recommendation has been
long forgotten. When children see this medical model as a role model, then it is obvious why drug
addictions are rampant among our youth. Many people are taught to repress their feelings by
being shamed for having feelings. The expression “Shame on you” is very common when a child
expresses anger. So we are consistently made to feel that our angry feelings (for girls) and our sad
or scared feelings (for boys) are shameful. It is extremely unhealthy the way males in our culture
have been systematically shamed for their soft tender feelings. This has led to the majority of men
in our culture having a very difficult time crying and expressing their grief. I have worked with
many men who were easily able to cry during the hypnotherapy and thanked me profusely. Many
have said they’ve never been able to cry as adults. One man told me he couldn’t even cry at his
own mother’s funeral. This has also led to many stress-related symptoms, such as heart attacks
and strokes. In Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life, she states that heart attacks are often
related to unexpressed grief!
When people repress their emotions, there is a tendency to use passive aggression as a way of
expressing them. This results in a person who may express his/her anger indirectly, which is
called passive aggression. These can be people who smile to your face and then stab you in the
back. A common expression in our culture which reflects this concept is, “I don’t get mad, I get
even!” I would much rather experience healthy direct expression of anger than a continual
indirect attack.
The main article is
here