Duality: What's great about it? And what's bad?

[Kim]

Yeah, cool. Thank you everyone for the answers. (And wow, @squark. What a story)

I'm not sold on Duality as Bliss things I've read around here. I think the character and health (emotional, psychological, sometimes physical) health of the two people is most important, plus mutual respect + attraction of course, and then if they're duals that would surely be delicious icing.*

It's unclear to me whether being duals even implies higher likelihood of mutual respect + attraction, which is kind of a bummer.

I know a dual of mine who I'm pretty sure has BPD, and he made my life absolute misery for a while. Still does when I think too much about that whole mess, heh. Actually I wonder if it was worse because we're duals, so he knew just where to poke and so did I.

Anyway..........


* It's unclear to me whether being duals even implies higher likelihood of mutual respect + attraction, which is kind of a bummer. le sigh

I don't think it implies that at all and I don't think it's a bummer. I would have really missed out if I had only ever dated my dual I think.

Duality is easy in terms of communication and ways of processing and priotitizing information. It's comfortable and comparably effortless.

That being said, my current partner is not my dual and while we initially needed to walk a few extra steps and still have the occasional misommunication, we have enough
in common and enough love and respect for each other to be great together. Meeting my (functional) needs is not as natural to him as it was for my SLI ex, but he has learned
and so have I. You don't need a dual to have a good relationship.

[Absurd]

I don't think it implies that at all and I don't think it's a bummer. I would have really missed out if I had only ever dated my dual I think.

That means that your dual is only one person alive.

That being said, my current partner is not my dual and while we initially needed to walk a few extra steps and still have the occasional misommunication, we have enough
in common and enough love and respect for each other to be great together.

And that sounds as something akin to what squark posted.

You don't need a dual to have a good relationship.

This kills squark's post, though. Looks as if you're both describing the same thing but from completely different angles.

Anyway, IEE plus SLE equals Super-Ego. And to think such construct, that defies intertype relations in terms of compatibility is more sought for than duality...

Wonder whether there are more, say, IEE going for the demonstrative in SLE and SLI for demonstrative in IEI.

[blackburry]

SUCKAS:
duality is borrring.

Idk, I've never felt that I've ever grown through duality...it's more like that I felt less freakish..less bizarre. but never actually felt like I've become a better person for it... just like I felt understood. (but maybe it's because all the LIEs I know are e8s...and they've teensy bit of anger/melancholy that tends to make me feel like I'm the more optimistic of the bunch..so I've to be aware of that..and TRY to be more optimistic or we're both just sitting around complaining all the time..and that's draining. (and I don't necessarily like feeling I'm the more social/friendly/optimistic one.. it kinda forces me to step up and take that on..which is "ok" at times..but blehHhhHhHhHhHhHhHHHhh)

but it is cool to be able to pick up wherever you left off with someone at any point in time. 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years... it's still gonna feel comfy..familiar..same jokes, and really cool if you see eye to eye on the majority of things, makes you wanna slap da bitch if you don't though.

Absurd I'm going to kick you with sticks.

[Absurd]

Absurd I'm going to kick you with sticks.

Sticks and stones may break my bones...

[Kim]

Anyway, IEE plus SLE equals Super-Ego. And to think such construct, that defies intertype relations in terms of compatibility is more sought for than duality...

.

It's not more sought for, it's just an example to show that duality is not the be all end all for relationships. My advice is start the relationship first, type later (if at all).

[Absurd]

It's not more sought for, it's just an example to show that duality is not the be all end all for relationships.

But, but, but...

... it's cream and sugar and to abandon it to, say, super-ego, providing both parties are reasonable, and of course as far as intertype theory goes, is a bit silly. Having the choice I mean.

My advice is start the relationship first, type later (if at all).

I can agree with this.

[Kim]

But, but, but...

... it's cream and sugar and to abandon it to, say, super-ego, providing both parties are reasonable, and of course as far as intertype theory goes, is a bit silly. Having the choice I mean.
.

I had no choice! I was dragged into the cave by my hair. We are talking about an SLE here.

[Absurd]

I had no choice! I was dragged into the cave by my hair. We are talking about an SLE here.

Ahh, okay.