Introverted Aggressors

[flames]

I am not an aggressor so don't know. I don't even know what the person self types that I responded to. I tend to wait for someone to approach me first then I will know what to do if there is chemistry. I think it is harder for people who aren't naturally inclined to make the first move. I think for them it is best to use intuition or common sense when they are interested in someone. If it is meant to be then it will happen. Some people do like a lot of attention but have no interest in going out with any of them. It is more of a narcissistic fix.

When a woman wants a man they tend to give signals. Same when they don't want them. I think that his post was fine. Many times it leads to harassment when a guy can't figure out the signals with common sense or intuition. My mom is LSI, she jumped up on a barstool, crossed her legs and told my ILI stepdad to buy her a drink, even though her friends said she would have no chance with him because they considered him a higher class than her. They were together after that until he died. She didn't even have to knock him over the head and drag him out of the place.

Most people won't harass someone, they don't know, who shows absolutely no interest in them at all after after some initial pursuing, probably due to common sense or intuition. I have been stalked in an aggressive way by people who were not even socionics aggressors. It is annoying when you have no interest in them and/or have told them no several times.

I always thought of approaching others as a learned skill but that is likely the frightened and fragile victim inside me speaking, because many people have made the initiation since grade school. I think for Ni creatives especially we feel this pressure from society (Fe/Te external awareness) to be an “aggressor” and it’s as if we can come close at times, but ultimately we slip up because it’s not our thing. For example, just tonight I went on a date and rather than making a move, I bluntly asked “Can we kiss??” instead. Luckily for me they were making all the first moves in the first place which is what triggered me to ask that because even that is bold in my eyes. I need to gauge how they are acting with me before I can have any confidence to do simple romantic gestures... Starting a conversation is the most I can do. I seem confident when really my anxiety is bubbling over. And here is where the introvert aggressors come into play - they may seem shy at first but they are confident and their actions speak louder than their words and I am always tuned into how people are acting rather than what is coming out of their mouth first. Creative Se is quite strategic and even more so than Se base in my opinion, as they use the function creatively; so they tend do a lot of more action than speaking.

[qaz00]

For example, just tonight I went on a date and rather than making a move, I bluntly asked “Can we kiss??” instead.

Not a bad thing actually but I'm surprised you said it, I'd expect more confidence and subtlety from Fe lead. From my weak ethics/intuition perspective, such question can be used when there's too much uncertainty in which direction the relationship develops, like a cheat when you're bad at reading hints and you don't know what the other person expects from you.