Introverted Aggressors

[Olimpia]

So I saw this woman at a place I visit who is attractive in an ESI-Se way, so I started to flirt with her whenever I passed her desk. By flirting, I mean, going out of my way to say something fairly normal to her. Like, "Where is a good place to eat around here?", or "What are the rates for renting a space in this building?", and "If I go out the front doors, can you let me back in?" (High security building, I guess...)
She pretty much didn't respond to me any more than absolutely required, and even then, she looked at me like I was potentially trouble and almost certainly of bad moral character. I got pretty discouraged at her uniformly taciturn responses. I kind of figured that she thought I was a creep. Which I am, but a nice creep. Still, I persisted.
Last week, I asked her if she worked full time and what her hours were? She said she did work full time from eight to four. I said, "Oh", in a disappointed way. "So you work through lunch." and walked away while she just stared at me.
Today, I followed her into the break room and said "I'd like to take you out.."
"Yes"
"..to lunch."

Introverted aggressors.

Now to see if we can agree on a day, since she said her schedule was pretty full.

I gave her my name and phone number and address, so she probably has my dental records and last few deposit amounts into my 401k by now. We shall see if that deters her.

Wait, so do you have a date now or not?

[Adam Strange]

Wait, so do you have a date now or not?

Damn, Medusa. I wish you'd settle on one name.

Well, she said she wants to go out with me. But then she launched into a flurry of descriptions of her obligations and her schedule and the things she thought she might do, so I just gave her my contact info and she can think about it. She did say Thursday might work. But maybe not Thursday this week.

You can see what is happening here. ESI's have weak Ni (intuition of possibilities), and make up for it by drawing on their history with a person. But she has no history with me, although she likes what she sees so far. But I could be an ax-murderer! Or she could fall in love with a high quality guy (which is how I overheard an IEI describing me yesterday). Or she could wind up dead in a ditch! Or on a great vacation! Or a spinster!

"Yes No Yes No. What to do?" She wants but she fears. (I think this weak Ni is why so many ESI's are e6.) Helping to resolve this uncertainty is what LIE's can do for ESI's. We offer them just one assured, safe future, and then they can consider the flaws and decide to go with it or not. (And if not, we offer them another one. Lol.) But without that confident assurance, they are forever suspicious of your motives. Even with that, they are suspicious of your motives.

Anyway, to answer your question, I don't really know if I have a date or not. She may look me up and decide No for one reason or another. I might have to meet her friends and family first. Who knows? I guess I'll find out in the next week or so.

[Olimpia]

Damn, Medusa. I wish you'd settle on one name.

Well, she said she wants to go out with me. But then she launched into a flurry of descriptions of her obligations and her schedule and the things she thought she might do, so I just gave her my contact info and she can think about it. She did say Thursday might work. But maybe not Thursday this week.

You can see what is happening here. ESI's have weak Ni (intuition of possibilities), and make up for it by drawing on their history with a person. But she has no history with me, although she likes what she sees so far. But I could be an ax-murderer! Or she could fall in love with a high quality guy (which is how I overheard an IEI describing me yesterday). Or she could wind up dead in a ditch! Or on a great vacation! Or a spinster!

"Yes No Yes No. What to do?" She wants but she fears. (I think this weak Ni is why so many ESI's are e6.) Helping to resolve this uncertainty is what LIE's can do for ESI's. We offer them just one assured, safe future, and then they can consider the flaws and decide to go with it or not. (And if not, we offer them another one. Lol.) But without that confident assurance, they are forever suspicious of your motives. Even with that, they are suspicious of your motives.

Anyway, to answer your question, I don't really know if I have a date or not. She may look me up and decide No for one reason or another. I might have to meet her friends and family first. Who knows? I guess I'll find out in the next week or so.

My identity keeps changing, Ip (or just not Ne PoLR) stuff.

Hm I see. First of, intuition of possibilities is . ^^' So you are technically commenting on an ESI's weak Ne.

 

A woman who claims she is "busy" is often just not interested enough, though if she does have a full schedule and give you a more specific time when she would be free, that means more likely she is both actually busy and interested. A woman who is interested will make it work, busy schedule or not.

So yeah, I guess she might feel the need to google you first, especially if she doesn't know anything about you. I'd say a lot of women are hesitant to go on a date with a complete stranger. So it is a good idea to keep showing up at the place, so that she gets used to you. Though you wouldn't have to talk with her whenever you are there, sometimes you could just give her a wink or a friendly look when you are there haha, and then you leave and give her something to think about.

Another somewhat sneaky thing you could do is bring a good (ideally happily taken) friend with you and introduce your friend to her, then excuse yourself and temporarily leave the two alone. Ideally your friend is going to tell her some things about you, positive things. Even better, she asks your friend out of curiosity and he answers positively. After a while you come back and leave with your friend again, saying you are busy.

This kind of move both makes her know more about you, gives her the impression you are "safe" and not a creep, etc.

Anyway, good luck.

[Skepsis]

My identity keeps changing, Ip (or just not Ne PoLR) stuff.

Identity does not change, only discovers additional layers and incorporates them. Different aspects, tunnels, perceptions, etc. Gotta love it.

[Adam Strange]

Wait, so do you have a date now or not?

Next Wednesday, 11:30 AM, lunch at one of the nicer restaurants in the city, she picked it.

[Myst]

Next Wednesday, 11:30 AM, lunch at one of the nicer restaurants in the city, she picked it.

Good luck!!

[Olimpia]

Next Wednesday, 11:30 AM, lunch at one of the nicer restaurants in the city, she picked it.

Sounds good.

[hatesyardwork]

Next Wednesday, 11:30 AM, lunch at one of the nicer restaurants in the city, she picked it.

How'd it go?

[Adam Strange]

How'd it go?

It went great. She's a wonderful person with her head screwed on right and she has good priorities with regard to family and friends. However, when I asked for another date, she said, "In six weeks."
So her lack of interest, plus her instinct stack, which I'm guessing is so/sp/sx and is not that compatible with my sx/so/sp, means that we won't have a third date.

Persistence is overrated.

Note: ^This was almost a year ago. I've since bumped into her and she seems open to another lunch date, but I don't think I'm that desperate for company at this point.

[Adam Strange]

Introverted Aggressor (who is actually interested in a relationship) meets Extroverted Victim: