Your mask is not your true nature. It's a metaphor for the walls we all build and the point being we lower the walls for a chosen few.Originally Posted by ashlesha
IRL I care little of what others think of me, I kind of move at my own pace and make my own wake and I expect others to get out of my way. I just don't signal my deepest vulnerability to others. I hide it, so my mask is natural.
How many of us signal our vulnerability to all others unashamedly?????
I guess i don't see it as separate from true nature when self preservation instincts are as natural as anything. Some people are guarded, some people reflexively act tough, some people act cute to disarm others, whatever, it's a mask but it's natural enough to me if it's what comes naturally... essentially i think I don't disagree tho, I mean the process of getting closer to someone involves shedding those barriers.
But I don't think it can be compared to adopting a persona you read about in a guide? Because that's extremely superficial. Meaning it's not reflexive behavior or anything. I mean it isn't even like, bad. For getting a job or something I'd read a guide on the desired personality for the hr dept cuz I don't care about them anyway. Its about the goal - getting that $ - not about the people evaluating me, who gives a shit if they know who I really am? But the goal with a relationship, i mean you do give a shit.. hopefully. Totally faking it just to make it says to me you don't care about them or yourself and it's just about the goal, which is what? A relationship you have modeled in your head? Some abstract 'duality' idea? What's the point?
I like everything you have said. I think all the thread disagreements are over semantics and everyone having a different subjective definition of the terms.........duality, authenticity, walls, masks ,nature and natural etc. I was really just talking about fear of connecting and how that vulnerability forces us to sometimes adjust behavior in the moment when are dealing with uncertainty with the unknown in front of us. I then convoluted that with a florid language that can be left to different subjective definitions.
Thread went off course because I made a point that made sense to ME and those who understood MY point with the language I used. Others find fault because of some difference of understanding with language that can have many different meanings. Clarity often is better than ambiguous verbosity. Not trying to be contentious.
In fact the whole disagreement is a result of my challenging someone else's use of the word NATURAL. I made the mistake of challenging that poster's definition of NATURAL as he understood it and then I waxed poetic informing said person of the true meaning of the word as I understood. I often forget that language is often not so concise to assume we are all on the same page.
I'll take socially uncalibrated for 500 Alex
Apologies
Last edited by hatesyardwork; 02-21-2018 at 08:26 AM. Reason: 1
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