Love and duality are not natural and therefore seamless. If that were the case there wouldn't be a section on "Recommendations for Dual Pairs" and divorce would and estrangement would not exist.
Life, Love and relationships are hard, not natural. People are broken, and they wear masks and emotions can nullify biology, while fear can force us to bury best intentions and authenticity. Everyone carries both stress and deceit and are often their own worst enemies. It's only love if it is easy is overstatement. Life is a play and we are all ACTORS and many are too afraid to reach for the center stage and stay in the wings. The only true natural states are flight or fight. Most run and hide.........that's natural. It's natural to not face ourselves or show it to others.
Everyone is usually doing the best they can.........which is not the same as doing their best. Fight or Flight? Which is less painful? Most seek the safer Flight......it's easier and it's natural.
"Should I be my true self or should I hold something back to protect myself so I don't suffer pain?" I'll PLAY it safe and act NATURAL instead."
The only people who act authentic and tell the truth are children, drunks and angry people Children haven't learned yet to wear a mask. Alcohol and anger drop our defenses and we slip up and take off our masks. Typology is a guide and a map but most of us will always be lost or choose not to read the instructions. Our masks are as natural as the air we breath. I am as full of shit as anyone here. I'm reaching in the darkness as well and trying to do better. Trying to mitigate pain, and not always being my best. Not trying to manipulate others requires us to show our true selves to those we are not completely sold on yet. It's a dance with a savage whose base instinct is to buck and run. People hurt us.
ESI are stone cold realists who hide deeper in the cave than most. They only stick their necks out to strangers who give them space and freedom to choose for themselves. They don't trust those who give their hearts away quickly. I never know exactly what to do with an ESI but somehow I know what not to do. I have to show restraint and patience which is against ever fiber in my body. I am impatient and touchy and have to steady myself in the moment. I don't think Duality is natural. I think it is a compromise between two people who begin to recognize the other person and want to a peek under the mask. Often people don't coordinate their efforts and frustrate each other.
One duality description mentions that ESI/LIE must fully understand each others motives before duality is possible. Two very self reliant and uncompromising types getting together is a bitch, never natural and seamless. It unfolds quickly once there is some trust. Getting to that point is hard.