Hugging style
Hey guys
i have two friends who tested ISTJ on myers briggs. This was a few years ago so i thought they were both ISTJs (Ti + Se).
Since socionics i realize one is ISTp and the other is ISTj.
And i noticed a marked difference in their hugging style!! the ISTj's is similar to mine.
how are your hugs? Robust or a pat on the back? what's your type? does your style vary within certain groups (such as family)?
I generally keep hugs as distant and quick as I can...
unless it's my mate or my kid, in which case huge hugs are not only comfortable, but appreciated.
+1, mine are soft and quick.Originally Posted by Joy
I got hugged by an INFp yesterday, i saw her running at me from about 5 meters away and i assumed a stance just to brace for the impact. She was airborne like one of those creatures from 30 days of night.
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin
Awww!Seems like an INFp would have to like someone a lot to run and jump on someone! Cute! The INFp I knew I can't picture running down the street...maybe I mis-typed...hmm.
Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)
+1.
Although my family is very touchy-feely, so they see me as cold in comparison.
I disliked being touched by most people. Handshakes are pretty much the only acceptable form of physical contact. Hugs are particularly uncomfortable.
If it's my child or mate, however, no amount of affection is too much.
IEIsubtype
this is pretty much the same with me also...unless it's family or the occasional drunk chick that for some reason just wants a hug...lol
I'm pretty uncomfortable with it, even handshakes. I tolerate it for my family, but not much for anyone else. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood though I'll aggressively hug my husband though :wink:
All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster
That's me.
My family is more into hand-shakes than hugs (except for my ISFp brother.) When my ENFp friend requests a hug, I usually give a half-hug. They're my specialty. I like to hug little kids because they're adorable and because it doesn't make them uncomfortable; they're used to it. Lately I've wanted to hug my INTp friend, but I stick to the handshake so I don't accidently give him.
Last edited by DirectorAbbie; 11-25-2008 at 11:00 PM.
mmmm hug
Hugs... hmm. If it's someone I care about and the time is right, I enjoy a good hug.
Today I hugged someone "goodbye" whom I'm not going to see again for a long time, and it was a very nice hug, if bittersweet....
I really don't enjoy hugs of any sort. Not even those from significant others. Creepy.
i looooooooooooooooooove hugs. how can people not?!
well, okay, if it's like an extended family member/friend of the family and i'm expected to give the person a hug- especially during a greeting- then it's sort of forced and quick and awkward. But, like, with my friends I really like hugs. i'll just hug people randomly during a conversation if i'm feeling particularly close to the person. i also really like cuddling and sitting on people.
EII; E6(w5)
i am flakey
I let other people hug me, but otherwise no. I don't like touching.
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
This is how I am as well... you'll probably not ever see me with my arms outstretched, moving in for a hug [ha!] but if someone wants to hug me, I don't turn them down. Well, assuming they are someone I know/am not weary of touching in the first place.
Sometimes my mind goes blank when I hug someone I don't know well, and I find myself later wondering if I seemed awkward or whatever because my mind was fuzzy. But if it's someone I really care about, a hug can mean a lot.
Is this the same INTp you talked about somewhere else? The guy who you maybe wanted to be more than a friend? Also I remember you saying something that he wants to be kicked (wtfLately I've wanted to hug my INTp friend, but I stick to the handshake so I don't accidently give him
Despite everything, my suggestion is just do it, if you want to hug him, and see what happens.
Just find a moment where you are private to test this, and don't do it in public, especially not in front of his family or friends. He won't hate you for it, worst that can happen is that he will cringe or try to dodge it. Just don't take personally it, if this happens.
INTps are just full of bullshit about this. Don't trust everything they say, when they are trying to protect their insecurities.
...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.
INTp
Yeah, he asked to be kicked. So I did, then an ISFp made me stop.Is this the same INTp you talked about somewhere else? The guy who you maybe wanted to be more than a friend? Also I remember you saying something that he wants to be kicked (wtf
Despite everything, my suggestion is just do it, if you want to hug him, and see what happens.
Just find a moment where you are private to test this, and don't do it in public, especially not in front of his family or friends. He won't hate you for it, worst that can happen is that he will cringe or try to dodge it. Just don't take personally it, if this happens.
INTps are just full of bullshit about this. Don't trust everything they say, when they are trying to protect their insecurities.
I hugged him backstage. No reaction.
Heh sounds kinda weird. But then again I used to randomly kick my sister in the butt when I was teenager
I guess he didn't hate it then. He might secretly like it.I hugged him backstage. No reaction.
...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.
INTp
Likewise. I don't like to initiate hugs since I am never sure if by doing so I'm invading a person's personal space and making them feel uncomfortable. But when I know that if the person may be expecting it, I'll try and initiate it so I'll have a greater amount of control over how much or little physical contact is given.I'm pretty uncomfortable with it, even handshakes. I tolerate it for my family, but not much for anyone else. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood though I'll aggressively hug my husband though
Johari Box"Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
for me, not tolerated in any manner or form, regardless of recipient.
hm.
put when you push them off you is it in a dead fish way or a forceful way?
jk.
Me too. I made some enemies in middle school because I would shrug off other's touch (pre-teen girls are very touchy-feely). I'm always amazed at people that touch others that they barely know.
All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster
Soft and comforting, and I push up right against the person.
Agreed. For me it is not because of some desire of physical contact, but because it is almost a social ritual that is expected.I'm really only comfortable hugging my family members, significant others, or really good friends.
In this way, society has actually benefited male LII's, since males are not expected to be "very touchy-feely." I can't help but feel sorry for those female LII who are expected to be more physically open to hugs and such.Me too. I made some enemies in middle school because I would shrug off other's touch (pre-teen girls are very touchy-feely). I'm always amazed at people that touch others that they barely know.
Johari Box"Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
The fakery is some of the reason I don't like it. Fake or sincere, howver, its just not like me to engage in it.i don't see any harm in hugging someone or being hugged. if i feel like hugging someone, i do it. i dislike fakery or people that hug just to appear 'nice' or whatever.
All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster
Ditto.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
Hugs are alright. I don't enjoy it when people bigger than me give me a bear hug and crush me(i have a friend who does this a lot). He does it to be physically imposing. it's absolutely unneccessary and it sometimes makes me nauseous, or it crushes my ribs and gives me pain or problems breathing for 10-15 seconds. I was a small child which basically means adults can adjust your relation to the immediate surface at will. I learned to expect the worst from hugs because of my size.
asd
hugs are great when it makes sense...like you're dating the person or in love w/ them or something (or would like to be). In that event, i will randomly hug them whenever.
I don't really like to hug anyone else. I only do it to not be rude, and I usually go for the shoulders.
I like that most of my friends also do the fake hug. lots of people do the kiss on the cheek thing w/ the half-hug, and I mind that less w/ guys if they just do it. But most of the time w/ girls I often forget to add that in until it's too late.
I also dislike handshakes, except in job interviews or business (that's easy enough). But the casual greeting gets so confusing...some people want to shake your hand, others do that hip little hand bump thing, or the guy style hand greeting thingy (which as a girl, I never know if that's appropriate, but playing sports sometimes they all do that, even to me)....I hate being rude, but if it isn't formal business, and I don't want to hug them, I'm left w/ too many handshake/half hug/cheek kiss options.
Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)
I absolutely love hugs! I don't get enough of them. I am a warm, cuddly hugger to anyone that wants a hug or that I hug. Fake hugs are pointless to me. And if you try to fake hug me, you are in for a surprise! You are going to get a real hug from me.
ENFp
I don't generally hug but it depends on the circumstance. I sometimes will touch someone's arm or some other physical thing smaller than a hug if I feel they need comforting/whatever.
Some people want to hug every time they see me and that makes me a bit uncomfortable.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
I like sincere friendly hugs
Topaz
The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
mhmm
seriously herzblut i find it funny but you need to stop
I'm with topaz; I like open hugs, don't like closed hugs.
I really do not like physical contact unless it is with someone I've known for years and have a positive relationship with. I am sensative to touch in an odd way though I mostly do not react.
My ESFp friend, who I've known for a few years, complained to me about not hugging her goodbye as I offered my gloved hand for a handshake.
The psychological distance of formality indicates handshakes, and that is what I prefer. Fist pounds is okay if I'm with guys at sporting events or similar. But hanshakes usually.
With someone I am really close to, as in a close relationship, then I really like deep long hugs. But no one else. The idea of being physically possessive of the other person is somewhat intriguing at times. If it is someone I'm very close to, then I would never turn down a hug intentionally. But if it is not her, or not someone in my immediate family, then you've got no chance. If I am single, though, and you are someone that I deem huggable, then I won't refuse one necessarily.
lol this has since been logged as guest but sounds like UDP.
edit: oh and now i see someone quoted it and it says it's him.
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