Shrew

Genus and species:
Sorex araneus

Collective Term:
A lament of shrews

Careers and Hobbies
Journalist
Paramedic
Librarian
Salesperson
Actor
Traveling
Computing
Thrift store shopping

Famous Shrews
Leona Helmsley
Tammy Faye Baker


The diminutive shrew is the archetypal insectivore. Intelligent, thrifty and self absorbed, it knows how to get what it wants regardless of who stands in its way. Cursed with an overactive metabolism, the shrew is unable to stand still for even a minute. Whether it's picking up the kids, shopping at a garage sale or poking its nose into other people's business, it just keeps going and going. If its outta-my-way attitude provokes resentment from friends, that's just too bad. A shrew's gotta do what a shrew's gotta do.

Sharing does not come naturally to shrews, and they are typically the last to pay their portion at a group dinner. It's not that shrews are greedy, rather they're responding to a compulsive need to save for the future. In this respect they are much like their cousin the mouse, who takes planning for the future to extremes.

With the conviction that it knows what's best for everyone, shrews are always ready with free advice. They seem to delight in butting into other people's private affairs. Sometimes the shrew turns this hobby into a career as a gossip columnist, movie critic, or TV evangelist. But more often than not, it retains its amateur status and practices on its long-suffering friends.

Because shrews are constantly on the move, careers that require concentration and sober thinking are unsuitable. They perform best in chaotic jobs and thrive on the unpredictability of disorder, making them natural production assistants, circus performers, wedding organizers or emergency room technicians.

Their predilection for collecting and organizing things would also make them good librarians or or bookkeepers, while the desire to keep moving makes them suitable for any job requiring travel and creativity.

Shrews' sharp eyes have a knack for spotting the hole in the fence, and with their ability to make instant decisions they impetuously seize the moment and scuttle on through. Their smart mouths and high energy are put good use in the workplace, and they excel as salespeople and journalists. But sometimes their reputation precedes them and they encounter built-in resistance to their pitch even before they've opened their mouths.


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