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Thread: What animal are you?

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  1. #1
    Korpsy Knievel's Avatar
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    Gorilla

    Genus and species: Gorilla gorilla

    Collective Term: A band of gorillas

    Careers and Hobbies:

    Mechanic
    Plumber
    Repairperson
    Personal trainer
    Food Industry
    Service industry
    Wrestling
    Motorcycling
    Watching TV
    Sports fan

    Famous Gorilla:

    Hulk Hogan
    Mr. T
    The Hells Angels

    Gorillas are strong, unpolished individuals with a gruff exterior that conceals their soft and chewy center. They are capable, happy-go-lucky individuals with a disarming naiveté. Maybe a little hairy with a tattoo or two too, they are unpretentious and engaging creatures who brighten everyone's day with their enthusiastically warm greetings. They pay little attention to their physical condition and can even be a bit of a slob. With this tendency to be untidy, a gorilla isn't one to recycle or pick up after itself.

    Even with the gorilla's warmly gruff exterior there remains an underlying sense of menace that percolates throughout its personality. Though it is built for physical confrontation, it's difficult to imagine a gorilla actually inflicting bodily harm. However, when the gorilla or its family is threatened, the transgressor quickly realizes their mistake. Its body hair standing on end and large frame at full height, the gorilla will never back down from a fight. In a child-custody battle it's better to negotiate an up-front peace with a gorilla rather than endure a prolonged and bloody battle.

    Gorillas are intelligent but not overly motivated. When young they avoid formal learning, and as an adult their intelligence manifests itself as street-smarts. They have the talent and problem-solving skills to be excellent mechanics, plumbers or repair people.

    Their career, however, takes a backseat to the pursuit of recreational activity and they will rarely reach great heights in business. However, if they're lucky enough to find a job that incorporates fun and physical prowess - such as a personal trainer or professional wrestler - they can certianly rise to the top of their field.

    Gorillas' appreciation for the good life puts them in good stead for careers in the service industry, including the hotel and restaurant businesses, and customers appreciate a gorilla's gruff but can-do attitude.

    Gorillas are unmotivated by money, and they avoid strenuous physical exertion in favor of spending their leisure time at play. Drawn to social groups, the classic gorilla scene is a group of Hells Angels revving their bikes, mimicking a gorillalike chest pounding and roaring.

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    Feeling fucking fantastic golden's Avatar
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