lolol awesome video.
You could try out social gatherings that are focused on doing (fun) things together instead of just talking and "getting to know you better", as with the case in church... however there is a limit to "knowing you better" in church because the questions will revolve around the usual stuff, if you don't feel like you're too cold-blooded for church and don't enjoy it, you're in the wrong group.
Suggestions:
- drinking parties. whenever I go to one I immediately chug down several cans of alcohol to overcome shyness and anxiety. even if you can't contribute anything funny despite having tried your best to drink yourself silly, you will automatically seem more approachable and someone might just approach you and be like "dude are you ok?" and you can get a small conversation going.
OMG WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO ME. YOU EVIL FUCKER ESTP!!!!!!!!!!!
- food/birthday parties. even if you don't say anything, well, at least you can enjoy the food lol. it's even better if you help out with the cooking (I suck at cooking but I've helped out quite a lot anyway and it's great for bonding with people)
- table tennis parties.
WTF HAVE YOU BEEN TRYING TO DO TO ME
- sports clubs > gym. If you see a badly coordinated INFp fumbling around that's your chance to go up to them and teach them how to do whatever it is they're fucking up on. if the club goes drinking every week or now and then, even better. could be anything from tennis/badminton, hiking, white water rafting, kayaking, bushwalking, bowling, or even fishing (
ZZZ). basically anything with
adventure!!!
- invite your friends and their friends to go to any sort of event/festival/outing an IEI looking for an "adventure" might just pop up lol.
I used to dislike groups for the same reason too but I later found myself being more comfortable in groups because it takes the responsibility off me to talk and entertain and I can just sit there (and drink/eat lol) and watch others do funny stuff and basically immerse myself in the fun atmosphere, occasionally joining in if I feel like it.
The key is to not worry about having to talk and say the right things or making an impression or whatever it is that you're worrying about and just try to get whatever enjoyment you can get out of it whether it's by doing something you like or just being surrounded by fun people and entertaining yourself by watching them. If it gets too awkward, grab for the food or drinks or get out your mobile phone until someone approaches you.
Also if you spot an IEI in the group that hasn't been talking for more than 5 minutes and is just sitting/standing there, that's the perfect time to approach them and strike up a conversation. I don't think you need to worry about what to say because most people in that situation would just be glad to have someone save them from the boredom/awkwardness. You could start by commenting on their appearance though, for example there was once this guy I'd met at a group gathering and he was making comments like "hey about your hair... is that a wig? looks nice" or "oh your wallet is brand X! you rich girl
"
Most importantly, make use of
physical proximity. Above guy made quite an impression on me because he often made eye contact with me (checking out my hair? lol) and after a while he moved from the opposite side of the table and sat down next to me which I was quite happy about
Try to
"touch without touching" that is, to touch indirectly with your eyes or whatever, hard to explain lol.
Example of physical proximity done wrong: I once hung out with a guy who would try to take photos of me while I wasn't watching or like pat the snow off of my jacket (where do you think you're touching who gave you permission #@$@(#%@#()%) and that pissed me off so much that he was one of the few people who went into my "black list". Then again maybe it's just me lol.