LOL.
I was going to ask if you seriously want to know, but I will just answer as if you do.
My answer is not politically or culturally acceptable, so go away if opposing opinions incense you.
IMO, the cuddler's behavior is unchaste. Yes, even though she is not having sex with them. Its a turn-off to me. Its unethical. And i like to think that IEEs are more ethical. We are an ethical type after all. But today chastity is seen as valueless, and only sexual indulgence has value, so many scorn even the
word "chaste". But the fact is, it has great value.
Here is my own story and I don't tell it to preach to anyone. Its just about a choice I made, my personal decision.
It includes references to God and His ways, and even
sin! So if that turns you off, skip this!
It is a long story of my thoughts and feelings, so if thats not your cup of tea, skip it!
I have lived with chastity for many years and its only recently I can see the fruit of it. It was often very, very hard to choose to be chaste. I think as a sx subtype particularly so. Particularly since I avoided even "platonic" relations with a man, by my own choice, because I was not in a position to marry, and felt in my loneliness the temptation
for me to be unchaste would be too great. Sometimes living this life when I felt lonely made me feel numb, yet I chose it because I was fully convinced this was
my way for me to live God's ways, and I had complete faith that "Our ways are not God's ways" and that
God's ways are best, and that
God is not mocked. That means if I chose to live God's way, no matter how it felt today, in the end,
someday, I would see its reward, because if in fact "our ways" (succumbing to our natural desires instead of disciplining them) are better than God's, then God certainly could rightfully be mocked.
(That sin is enjoyable not withstanding. Of course it is, or we wouldn't indulge.)
So in my loneliest times there was no one to snuggle with. In my bad marriage which I was firmly faithful to, I came to a point of facing the reality of an entire lifetime without snuggling, or, bleakly, even anyone to enjoy a cup of coffee with me. And at the point of facing this I nearly fell into debilitating despair. But I took this despair to God and because of that I learned how very real His comfort is.
And to have learned that makes everything that proceeded it that caused me to learn it completely worth it!
That is why
I know that Priests and Religious, if they want to keep their vows to chastity, can truly do this.
It is not humanly possible - so, yes, those who are outraged that the Church would expect this of a priest have a true point. However, with God's grace, it truly is.
For anyone familiar with the Bible, this is very much what Jesus means when He said it is harder for a rich man to get into Heaven than a camel to go through the eye of a needle. "How then can ANYONE get to Heaven?!" asked his disciples. Jesus answered that "With God, all things are possible".
So I intended to live this way the rest of my life, and considered joining a religious order someday when my son got established in his life. I did not expect to fall very suddenly and quite completely in love with my SLI that day I met him after years of writing him. When we got together 3 months later, after so many years, I got to snuggle. Obviously I like to write, but I cannot even put into words what that is like, and I won't even try. But it is
powerfully bonding, and I continually feel such gratitude that I did not snuggle with anyone else. It is so bonding that it keeps us together when we are apart months at a time, and as we face some serious, time-consuming challenging practical obstacles that we need to overcome in order to be together.
I am so grateful now that that bonding was reserved
all for SLI, and no one else.
Having waited makes it better! I can only describe it as being like eating a taste of very fine food after a very long fast. Only when you are truly hungry can you appreciate the subtleties of the food.
Of course it doesn't stop there and desire makes it seem impossible to stop at "just snuggling" so that's the ongoing challenge we face now. And we aren't perfect. But we know
how to do the impossible: we need God's help.
So, back to this professional snuggler. In my opinion, she is wasting her gift spreading it far and wide, and for a price, too. It takes away from the preciousness of the one-on-one, with one she would love someday. She is in fact selling her body and her intimacy, and even though it falls far short of prostitution, it is on that continuum. According to God's law, prostitution is wrong. And IMO, since all of God's laws are written in our hearts, that's why it offends most people. Yes, its not politically or culturally acceptable to be offended by prostitution, however the fact is most people are offended at the thought of
themselves being a prostitute, even if they advocate for others to, sort of like the usual attitude towards abortion ["Well,
I would never, but others can if they want!"].
So her snuggle-intimately-with-anyone is a turn-off to me but I would never be one of those who send her scourging emails telling her so. Because I can only assume she is doing what her [uninformed] conscience tells her is a way that is okay. But I know that our ways are not God's ways. I know that I am blessed to know the reality that
"There is a way which seemeth right unto man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.-Proverbs 14:12 and doing what God says is wrong leads to kinds of deaths, deaths of goods that God intended for us to have.
He designed sexual intimacy and He knows what we should do to have the
best kind. The best kind is in love, not lust, and the best kind is exclusive. Not only because he designed our bodies that way [and our bodies suffer when exposed to to many lovers, as it is against His design, and our bodies cannot take it physically, and disease results] but also doing opposite of what He says robs us of the joy of intimacy. Our hearts aren't designed to enjoy loving intimacy with that many people. That's my thought, and I am convinced its true, particularly as my experience confirms it.
And for those who have chosen a completely other way of life, against God's ways, damaging their hearts and bodies with intimacy with many people, there is hope for you, too, to enjoy love in the fullness that God intended, as His forgiveness for our errors is complete, and there is always a new beginning.
If anyone has seen Mel Gibson's The Passion, when Jesus, bloodied and exhausted, greets His mother on the Way to the Cross, and He says,
"See, Mother? I make all things new." This is what He meant. He
does make all things new.
Remember God does not love any of us any bit less for choosing to do it our way instead of His (if He did that would make him unjust, since He gave us the choice of free will. And He is perfectly just!). He only grieves for what we have lost, since He loves us and wants the best for us.
I venture to say He loves the transgressor
more, as in the story of the lost sheep. He restores. Just as He restored Mary of Magdala, after years of prostitution, He forgave her, and healed her, and renewed her, and she was made so new that only months (or a year or so, we don't know exactly) after living completely immersed in a life of mortal sin He told her always-chaste sister Martha that her sister Mary "has exceeded you in loving". And He, Who is Love, favored she whom He praised for her love with being the first to see Him when He raised Himself from dead!
Originally Posted by Aquagraph
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