Basically, LII was making the most sense at the time, so, I put on all my gusto and idealism for what I thought was my dual, or my special type. I looked for real examples of things in my real life that worked, and some things fit, as we know. But, as I had more and more experience and learned more and more about socionics, things change. Most notably is spending time on my own at college. I realized that I wasn't really feeling like an LII, especially after living with one of them, and then living with another one briefly. I really began to question myself. And, although ESFjs share some qualities of an INFj (femininity being something I like a lot), it always lingered that, even before socionics, there were certain people who were a little on the quieter side, very soft, but ethically strong, and I remember getting along well with them. I always said I liked INFjs, even when I was idealizing ESFjs. (And furthermore, would me not knowing which type is my dual only be more indicative of having extremely weak Ethics in general? ((Which, I know I do...more later)))
Yet, to my best of my understanding at the time, I thought I was LII, and I couldn't say I got along with ESE's terribly so, so... I celebrated them. And if you read the LSE profile, that is what they do, that is part of having INFj as your dual and Fi in your ego block (probably with Ne hidden agenda (LSE) more so than Se (LIE))).
In one sense, me celebrating and idealizing my dual is part of how I would support my dual, maybe even part of Si creative (like you know how ESEs can go goo-goo over people they like). Perhaps that is part of being a caregiver. I believe, in response, Infantiles look up to their caregivers in a reciprocal sort of way. One thing that made me realize I was caregiver was really spending time and seeing infantiles in action.... and that is why LII immediately became dissatsifying, and why I always, ALWAYS, saw myself as more logical or more severe type of LII. When in reality, that was my Fi > Fe preference, serious>merry.