It makes me cringe that you use Socionics to figure this out. You are dealing with
- an addict (not using, but obviously troubled)
- a co-dependent father
- childhood trauma because the father made inappropriate and insensitive remarks (apparently also demeaning remarks about her mother
-a woman who tries to protect her home
- a father who apparently can't establish boundaries
- and two children???

How long have you known this guy? This has nothing to do with Se or Si or Te or Ti or whatever bullshit it is we are discussing on here. These are real people with real problems and I understand that you are trying to figure it all out. But really, this is not the place that is going to give you answers (at least Socionics won't offer any).

And really, if she has two children living in the house, things are a wee bit more complicated, no?