Working out a SLI/IEE/SEE threesome

[anndelise]

Oh, boy. I am overwhelmed. A lot of advice here to not tell him my reality, 'I cannot live with your daughter". But it is my reality. Blood is thicker than water and if he might LIKE his role as extreme-codependent constant life-support to a grown woman who uses and abuses him and does nothing for herself. I need more thinking...

People weren't advising you to Not say anything about your reality...but to perhaps rephrase it during communication about it.

Try approaching it as if you were him, with his experiences, his efforts, his values, his attitudes....not yours.
And with those in mind, imagine what kind of communication and phrasings you (as he) might be more receptive to.

And when you step back into your own skin...remember that part of what you love so much about this guy is also part of what sets him up for his relationship style with his daughter.