I dont think this much is enough

[fofenq111]

Whatdo you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What doyou like or dislike about it?
Ima mechanical engineer and currently working in a marketingdepartment.
Ittook quite long time graduate from the university. I didnt know whatI wanted to do before graduation and there was this oppurtunity as Ihad a reference within the company and I took it. But this is not theonly reason why I took it. Perhaps I would explain it, I will set itaside for now as I dont think I would like to mention it.
Itsbeen 1.5 years, Im still learning. But Im not sure if this is where Ishould be, what I should be doing.
Idont think I like it these days. Me and my manager trying to completethe job of 8 people and kind of near burnout. There is so much to do,and it never ends. I cant focus on anything, there is always anemergency, something else that has to be finished. I can never finishwhat I start, I´ll be asked to do something else, and forget what Ihad in mind. If frequency of these increase, stress also increases.
Thereare few reasons to why Im insisting. When I started, what I had inmind was working for at least 2 years. And, my manager is still here,I respect and like her. I still have many things that I could learn.And I need my income, I have debt.



Whatelse do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies?Why do you do them?
Idont have much time after work lately. I woke up at 7 am and back athome at 8pm. There is nothing much left. But I´ll try to speak aboutthe time thats left to me.
Duringafternoon breaks I eat with my manager, after we´re done, I go towoods near building, put my headphones and rest.
Afterwork, I play video games with friends, at least most of the time. Idont like to play solo rpg games etc. I can tell I´ll get bored andquit even before starting. And I kinda like if there are people Iguess.
Ifthere is any book I took interest, I read it. Perhaps watch a movieor some series.
Havinga hobby is hard for me. If I start something, I can tell when I´lldrop it and this causes me to not start anything.



Whatare your values, and why?
Idont really know If Im following it to fullest version of it but,Don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to you. Im notperfect, no one is perfect. Its likely that Im missing at times but Ican say that this is a principle I follow, at least I think this way.And I think I dont have to answer the why question as its pretty selfexploratory.
*
Idont like these questions really, Its not like I have a book for thisin my mind.


Describeyour relationships with family and friends. What do you like anddislike about them?
Whatdo you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
Itsnot that there is nothing I dont like about people around me but Idont walk around thinking about those, similarly I dont walk aroundthinking about their good qualities.
WhenI say people around me, 3 member of my immediate family, 4 closefriends I have. These people are my close ones, I will say, myfamily. Its something builded over time. I know their bad sides, goodsides but I dont even think about those, and even care as I acceptedall.
Restof the people are acquaintances, and I have thoughts about them,things I like and dislike. If I dont want to handle their bad sidesthen I wont. I can be the robot who only talks and nods when asked.
Ladyin the kitched of the office for example. She cant know anything muchabout me, as she plays to look nice and win the good graces of othersand starts to compliment for no reason. She is not trustable.
Mymanager, I dont know. She knows I dont trust people, and I had fewmoments where I was about the lose my trust in her but kept it anywaybut I know she is aware. She will feel weird around me anyway. Andits not like I can keep contact and relations with people anyway.
Fromrest of the office, I dont think anyone really get close to me. Imfine as long as their negatives starts to become a problem to me.
Idont even know why I talked about these.
Whatdo I look in people? I dont think I have a concrete list but its morelike what they show and have, and if I want it.
Thereis one thing though. If I dont believe someone will be there with mein 5-10-15 years of time, I cant really care. Why waste time withyou? I would rather waste my time playing a video game.
Romanticstuff is my weakside. I wont get into it.


Whatconflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why didthey happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
Notconflict, but kinda bothered and I was about the snap.
Oneof my colleagues was in a fair I organized the stand. On whatsapp, hewas messaging to me in a tone I dont like, a tone that mildyindicates as if he is above in a way etc. Sales people are wanty, andI wont suffer that bullshit. If it wasnt work related stuff, I wouldsnap.
Andalso, with my manager. Lately, she blames me with some stuff. Its notthat I cant accept criticism, I can, because you cant improve if youcant accept criticsm and reflect.
But,she would get fixated on a thought or a detail I cant care or I cantsee. And blame me, as if its possible in the current state of thedepartment. In addition to blaming, its about passive aggressivity.She complains that she cant trust anyone, everyone dissappointing etcbut makes it in a mild way but thats worse than direct approach.



Whatare your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you likeabout yourself?
Theycall me pure and good but I dont like it. What is that? Those twothings are seems to be saying you´re fool.
Iknow thats not the intention. What they´re trying to say is morelike, unblemished. Which is kinda true because I really detest thebad side of society, shitty stuff, shitty side of human nature. And Ialways tried to avoid it to some point. I can say I´ve lived my life in a self inflicted isolation from many things. Dont get mewrong, Im not trying to portray myself as some kind of weirdo. Ireally dont like exposing myself to some stuff. It makes you losehope in people, in everything, in life, from future and evenyourself.
Iwill list some stuff I´ve been hearing.
Somepeople told me that, as they get to know me, they liked the fact thatI have my thoughts and opinions about anything and everything.
Ilet people be themselves, they are kinda chill around me. Its likethey dont have to act.
Understandingbut not interested.
Iwill add if I can remember.


Whatare your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others?What do you dislike about yourself?
CriticismsI get; My manager says I have to meet, get to know new, more people.I need to be a bit more talkative as work requires it.
Myfriends also say I have to get know more people. Stop being adamantabout the way I see things, my rights, right way of doing thins,thoughts about how things should be, live the moment, stop being soend result oriented.
Theytell me Im attached to my own thoughts and convictions in anarcissist way.



Inwhat areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas ofyour life would you like help?
Idont like asking help, If I can do something by myself, I wont askanything from anyone.
ThoughI could ask opinions at times. For example, I ask if my clothes lookgood or colors match etc. And also, sometimes I ask my brother beforeI share something on instagram, that boy complains a lot my crappysense when I share random whatever so I ask if its good or acceptableetc. But that doesnt mean I do what he says, If I want to dosomething, I´ll do it anyway.



Whatthings do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more thanothers?
Ineed to sleep. I´ll pass.


Whatgoals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?
Hopingto find my purpose some day.
*
Ithink I also come to that age where I really need a relationship. Butits unlikely it seems. Im lovable person, but the ones I like refusesme which indicates a problem on my side i guess.
Iwant what I want. Someone having a thing for me, means nothing to me,I wont be in relationship for the sake of it as I dont need it. Ifwhat I want not happens, then I would rather have nothing.



Whatkinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment(your room, your house, etc.)?
Idont need my room to look good. I also prefer when there is lessstuff inside, Im comfortable this way. Bed, wardrobe, library, pcdesk, a little seat to read and the tripod where I put my daily stuffsuch as keys, wallet, watch etc. If I dont put something on it, I´lljust forget bringing it with me.


Ifyou won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would youdo?
Iwould probably by a house at a seacost, probably a small town. SinceI would have the resources such as money and a bit more time, I thinkI would do whatever comes to my mind. I would definetely write abook.
And,travel to the countries Im interested.


Whattraits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traitsare considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
Ilike people who can speak whatever comes to their minds, share theirthoughts and perspective without caring much. But there is a limit tothat, I dont like it when I see people do that to attack someone. Idont mean hurting people by sharing your opinion but knowinglyattacking.


Howdo you behave around strangers?
Itend to get quiet. Its not that I cant be lively, I can findmiddleground and speak with anyone, on every status etc. It doesntmatter to me. So, if I want, I can talk with anyone. But generally,Im not interested in doing that as I probably wont have much intereston someone I barely know or just met.
Itsnot that I cant fake, I dont want to, why bother?


Howdo you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults orattacks you?
Dependson context. I can try to pacify the situation. I can ignore thesituation.
IfI think Im wrong, I will accept it. If I think Im wright, I canresist, or perhaps I could just fake as if Im accepting whatever.
ButI dont like it when Im blamed or guilted. When It happens, I have atendency to react not that good. If Im not getting angry then Imlosing the trust I put in the person.
Iwont accept insult. Look, some shit might be going on, I might thinkabout what drives this person to this point and try to understand.But if its passes my limit, I wont accept. And, my “not playingnice” side is quite bad. I prefer if people does not drive me tothat point. Because I will say stuff that will hurt, and even If Isay Im kinda regretting, its not completely true. I know that Ishould be sorry to a point but here´s the thing, If you push me tothat point, Its not my fault. Probably you´ve been taking me forgranted as I prefer to be good. If you push me to that point, youwere asking for it.



Wouldyou ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? Whatrole would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?






Howdo you dress or manage your appearance?
Icant say Im burning many calories for this matter. I dont like seeingshops, buying clothes that much, so I buy rarely.
StuffI wore suits me, people tell me it looks good whatever I wear.
Beforegoing outside with a purpose such as meeting with friends etc, I tendto ask my family if it looks good, if colors matching etc.
Otherthan this, I can only add that Im the kind of person who brings morethan necessary clothes to a vacation which even makes my friendscomplain or mock. When preparing a suitcase for a vacation, I thinkof possible mishaps and decide to bring more.
Andalso, I think that eventhough I dont really much thought into clothesetc, I want to look good, appeal to eyes to some point. But, ofcourse, cant tell to what point.


Doyou like kids? Why or why not?
Littlemonkeys who are pure and kinda cute. Its okay as long as they dontyell, cry and make much noise. If its my monkey, I think my tolerancewould be so much higher.
So,I think I like kids, and I know they like me, especially when theirage is smaller.


Inwhat situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled,and why?
Icant answer most fulfilled, happy etc times or situations because Icant remember.
Funnything, I can remember some of the negative stuff but not positivestuff. Thats not how wired I am. Good things passes as it is to beforgotten. Bad shit will be remembered one way or another.
Andits not like I remember them while remembering everything thathappened, it a bit vague. Its more like remembering the meaning but Idont know how can I explain it well.

[Sol]

> I don't like these questions really

a video with a story on your choice
it's important to have

[fofenq111]

I can do that actually but I prefer if its not open to the public. Are you good at typing?