Now you're just being idealistic. Real life isn't a movie adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel. If you're expecting something ~*~great~*~ and ~*~profound~*~, then you'll always be disappointed and never fulfilled nor satisfied with anything.
Now you're just being idealistic. Real life isn't a movie adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel. If you're expecting something ~*~great~*~ and ~*~profound~*~, then you'll always be disappointed and never fulfilled nor satisfied with anything.
I know, you are right... we should look for small things in life that add flavour. FoxOnStilts you remind me of a very good ILE friend of mine
. He ALWAYS managed to cheer me up and you seem to do the same thing.
I feel ashamed of what I'm thinking I know I'm just being childish and insecure. The worst thing happens when people (e.g. me) start living in their head too much and think too much
My real problem is I'm not satisfied with what I did with my life and it's gonna come back to me. I find it difficult to accept and I think the same about other people. Brr....
Another thing is when I finally burst into tears I know it's somehow going to get better after that
If your dudefriend doesn't talk about her often or make references to her, then I'd think that he probably has moved on from that relationship. I actually disagree with your method of occupying yourself with something until it gets better. I think your questioning is legitimate based on you not knowing him that well. You're not being dumb... Based on how you feel about this, it might be a recurring issue whenever he mentions the ex, in that you will want some kind of reassurance and your paranoia might flare up again when it's not the reassurance you want, "he didn't sound very convincing this time, what if he still likes her?" That kind of anxiety will hurt a relationship. Coming from a guy who has anxiety issues, my 2 cents is that you don't know for sure if he does/doesn't/will/won't do anything that you think about (and it's not like you're coming up with something farfetched either), so being at peace with that possibility and giving the same weight to the opposite possibility AND CONSEQUENTLY choosing not to think about it because it's out of your control might help you not only for this but for any other anxiety issues.
You can't compare Yourself to Your s.o's past. because You're completelY different people and i'm sure You have Your own qualities that make You beautiful and worthwhile to himif he's into the fashion industry and or models, You can't expect him to just give that interest up and start googling pics of girls that look like You. everyone has their fantasies, that doesn't mean he can't love and appreciate YOUR appearance on its own level. so don't let it get to You. You just need to realize Your own strengths and beautY that's unique to You and not worry about how You're dissimilar from his ex. maYBe those differences You assumed were shortcomings are actuallY strengths over her
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
He dated someone before. That's normal. He doesn't sound interested in her anymore. Relax. You're right that this is about your self confidence and not about him.
He wouldn't be with you if he didn't find you attractive.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
All guys notice a girls looks first. He watches top model because guys do notice the physical first. But looks are not the only thing a guy wants... I think you are fine.
I don't know I quess I'm just anxious for the sake of being anxious. It's not that I believe I'm ugly I'm rather confident about my looks. I used to have similar issues in my previous relationships so I know when I think rationally that the problem is me. I always think that I don't deserve something but I also know that I shouldn't think this way. I just have this stupid philosophy... I'm not afraid that he would like to come back to her (she's already married anyway). It's just... I quess I'm just jealous of the fact that she was his first love. But you are right, it's totally normal. He doesn't mention her but he doesn't also avoid the subject. The fact is that he still doesn't have to have anything to do with her - but she left him in a very bad style so maybe that's the reason.
What is important is the fact that I'm finally in a good relationship with a good person and it's so stupid of me to google his ex girlfriend and cry after seeing something.
And thank you for rationality, I really needed it.
Keep in mind what you do have in your control. You can get in better shape if you want. Start working out 15-30 minutes a day. Do you have to be a model? Nope.But it will certainly help your confidence in yourself.
And I'm sure your man will notice the difference after a couple weeks, and be even more excited about being with you.
The suggestion for working out is mainly for you. Will it matter for him being loyal to you? Sounds like you got a guy that will be true to you anyway...:
1) He dated a girl for 7 years - shows he is incredibly LOYAL.
2) She broke up with him - has he ever broken up with anyone? Shows he's willing to work on things and not quit.
3) He deleted photos of her - shows he is mature to move on with his life, and find someone else.
4) You've already been dating 6 months - shows your past the 'testing the waters' stage and are comfortable with each other.
My guess is he's an incredibly loyal guy, in it for the long haul. Someone you're searching for. He's already attracted to you for some reason or another.
I guess that Mountain Dew will become the new poster boy for what "creative Fi" really means... good advice, Dew!
Yeah, I basically believe we can identify two core starting points:Originally Posted by Slacker
- they have been separated for 3 years
- she left him for another guy
based on my understading of the average man's psyche, the general feeling towards her would be a mixture of indifference, disgust and slight hatred. Their (I mean, those characteristics) relationship with love would likely be statistically orthogonal.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
And don't forget he's been dumped and on the shelf for three years....maybe he's lucky to have YOU.
ISTp
SLI
Enneagram 5 with a side of wings.
How important and how difficult is to be objective... especially when dealing with your inner doubts and things you've been always afraid of. Everything depends on what we focus our attention on. Now, from the distance I think I could easily focus on something that could make me feel : I'm the only one for him, his perfect soulmate and he's mine as well. And I could easily immerse in self-doubts like I'm not worth happiness.
Maybe it's something that we should all remember...everything is relative so... keep cool. I'm going to repeat it to myself everytime the moment comes.
I'm not anxious about something that he might possibly do although I'm completely aware of the fact that we can never exclude the possibility of sth. I think my anxiety come from the fact I don't know... that I'm not good enough?? don't deserve being loved? I'm just trying to analyze it in an abstract way... I know every human person is worth being loved and I haven't done anything in order not to deserve that. It's just sometimes anxiety is a habit and it's irrational.
I really feel ashamed of the fact that I started this thread... but at the same time a bit relieved a little bit.
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