directly addressing relationships verbally

[Creepy-male]

nah,you speak in absolutes.i think a certain combination is needed in order to get to what you're describing here.maybe one of them has to be LII.what i'm saying is that before the bump,i was more than confident in his psychological profile and the possible reactions.it's not like i have Asperger's syndrome mirite.also,i 've said that i would not walk up to someone and be like "Durrr I got a positive disposition towards you".it's just that this case kept resting heavy on my shoulders and mailing him would put an end to it ,in some way.it's like when a ghost only haunts people till it gets what it wants and then it stops being trapped in the in-between and moves on.anyway it was a good lesson.oddly enough,i feel more powerful now since i got to implement this dynamic.

Yea I wasn't being serious, I was speaking in absolutes because it was a specific targeted reference to something else mentioned on this forum.

I think though still what you did in certain situations could backfire horribly for others (and I'm glad it didn't for you), and it's not just entirely dependent on the person writing the letter-- I think regardless of how well you write something it's still possible the person receiving it doesn't take it as intended. It depends on a lot-- how the personalities differ, but also one's personal cultural/social viewpoint and ability to comprehend what is written. Like if a guy writes a letter to a girl with a cynical jaded distrusting attitude expressing affection, you may have intended something to be perfectly innocent, but they will consider it malicious because they may be highly skeptical of your intentions based on that attitude or outlook. That attitude may be the product of cultural and social views along with past experiences, and if we add incompatible personalities to the stack things can get ugly quick. So I don't think its a matter of blaming solely the writer (or the receiver), it's based on the character of the relationship.

I personally kind of find the attitudes of some people to be kind of ridiculous, which is what I'm specifically targeting in what I wrote. I was purposefully being extreme to underline the stupidity of certain people's reaction to a simple letter.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I need verbal appreciation. Honestly, people doing too much physical stuff for me (showing) feels like it makes me be codependent. I'm already so laid-back and passive... if you 'show your love' too much I'm liable to just sit there and not do anything and I probably would live in a catatonic state. I guess I'm kinda confused when you say 'show your love' what does that really mean? I'd prefer if people just either sex me up really good or give me compliments that my poor shy introverted ass needs.

I really do think doing things for introverts is incredibly dangerous, because since we're so introverted... it makes us catatonic and physically helpless.

[Creepy-male]

On Topic:

I do prefer verbal appreciation as well if it's sincere and about something in particular and someone in particular that makes it impactful. People who just generally flatter, praise, or laud strangers on virtually any and every subject annoy me. Bandwagon praise I dislike as well, where everyone in a group compliments each other because they share the same views -- "the circle jerk" phenomenon. Finally I dislike praise when I think it's connected to alterior motives.

I think though if a person strategically deploys a comment of verbal appreciation in a key moment it can be a very nice and meaningful thing. For example, Complimenting someone on a strength or positive characteristic they have in a time where they are experiencing conflict in a similar area can really be morale inspiring -- it creates this entire feeling of self-remberance and empowerment in the person receiving the compliment. Sometimes I'll keep the things in mind to say, but don't say them until a key time -- TIMING IS IMPORTANT and SPACE. Complimenting someone every day lessens the power of it.

[redbaron]

I need verbal appreciation. Honestly, people doing too much physical stuff for me (showing) feels like it makes me be codependent. I'm already so laid-back and passive... if you 'show your love' too much I'm liable to just sit there and not do anything and I probably would live in a catatonic state. I guess I'm kinda confused when you say 'show your love' what does that really mean? I'd prefer if people just either sex me up really good or give me compliments that my poor shy introverted ass needs.

I really do think doing things for introverts is incredibly dangerous, because since we're so introverted... it makes us catatonic and physically helpless.

I agree but that's what I like about SLEs is that they don't do things FOR me, but there's something about them that motivates me to get off my butt and do my own thing, myself. That's why they're good for me. And as for verbal appreciation, it can be verbal as long as it's not formal as in "I know that we've known each other for a couple of years now and I just wanted to be sure that you know how much I appreciate your helpfulness and always being such a great example for the rest of us and I want you to know that I really look up to you as a role model" blah blah GAG. Anyway, I can tell when people like me and are appreciative. I certainly don't need direct words regarding that. It's almost insulting. As if I didn't already know.