Quote Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
It's only happened to me a few times, for someone to speak of the relationship itself as a kind of intangible, emergent 3rd party/object/property/something.

It was actually kind of interesting and helpful at the time, because I'm accustomed (esp. under stress) to reflexively thinking of interpersonal relationships in black&white terms as 'me vs. other person'. So it kind of snaps me out of that, where instead of things being phrased by the other person as "your behaviors are affecting ME" it's "your behavior is affecting our relationship."
Ok, I guess in complicated situations it might be useful...but eventually it has to revert back to someone's natural tendency if the rel. is supposed to last, I think?

I know right. I hate that analogy.
Yeah I mean, suppose a Fi type is among some people he/she knows since childhood, and say 2 very close friends she has gotten to know a later date, and his/her boy/girlfriend. How can he/she direct her attention in a sufficiently equanimous fashion according to the "laser beam" analogy?