I mistyped myself as a 5 when I first took an enneagram test without knowing what enneagram was before.
Upon learning more about the enneagram, it is painfully obvious that I'm a 9. 5 is most likely my head type in tritype.
I mistyped myself as a 5 when I first took an enneagram test without knowing what enneagram was before.
Upon learning more about the enneagram, it is painfully obvious that I'm a 9. 5 is most likely my head type in tritype.
Although I don't think typology is legit, there will obviously be some aspects of it that people will relate to (I mean, they are describing human patterns and qualities, so duh. I just don't see it as all-encapsulating and perfect fits. Not all qualities and patterns they connect together will match peoples' real patterns. If they did, people wouldn't be wondering what fucking type they are for so long.) This is something I relate to, and something that fits my situation here. It's an imperfect fit, but it is the tritype that I most relate to.
In my case, yes, I do take great pride in my ability to walk alone, but I am happiest when I don't.
My others-centric, others-helping, rescuing nature, has been in me since AT LEAST when I was fucking 3 years old (which I talked about already here). That shit runs deep in me.
I don't relate to that part where she talks about "nobody is going to ignore a good Samaritan." I don't do it to be recognized, and I very often work in the shadows without people EVER recognizing what I do. In the past, I also did it in a martyr-like way, since I constantly had my boundaries violated as a child. I never developed healthy boundaries during my childhood due to that, and the low self-esteem I once had. I valued others more than my own self.
I have since done a lot of work on asserting healthy boundaries. Sometimes, my compassion does get the best of me, and I go out on a limb to help someone too much subconsciously; once I realize it, I feel frustrated by the fact that I've done that once again. Usually, what makes me recognize I'm doing it again is the fact that I'm being betrayed. Once I've been betrayed, my heart does a 180 and I feel justified to become the demolisher. Use, lie, steal, whatever; "they deserve it." I put my life at risk for someone in order to try helping her. I was there with her literally 24/7, even going into the restroom with her because she felt scared and wanted me with her so she could feel safe. I was doing everything I could to help her in every possible way so she could get her life on track. What was mine was hers, anything she wanted/needed, I provided. Counseling/therapy, money, letting her drive my car whenever and wherever, food, my clothes, you name it; up until it was interfering with my own responsibilities, then I tightened up my boundaries. She tested my limits, and when she was fake crying and I wouldn't literally hold her hand while she went down the stairs to go to the car because she was being a huge baby, that's when she turned on me. She betrayed me by becoming psychologically abusive and manipulative. I gave her another chance after she got clean from drugs, but I immediately saw through the fact that she was only acting friendly so she could get her shit then ghost me. Once I confronted it, she did the same exact shit again: psychological abuse and manipulation, plus denying I ever did anything for her and calling me an idiot for risking my life for her. So I never returned her clothing that she left in my car. It was literally all the clothes she owned. No fucks given, I turn that cold. My only regret is that I didn't do even worse. "You probably are fucking my ex!" Never even seen him, no clue what he looks like, but "yep, sure am." I don't put up with snakes.
My love for others, my compassion, my empathy, but especially my INNER LONELINESS AND NEED FOR CONNECTION, gets me into trouble way too much. LITERALLY endangered my life and went to the point of my boyfriend breaking up with me, so I could help this fucking twat. Somehow, I unconsciously get myself into these self-sacrificial heroic situations, and it's not always for the right people.
Tri—》538 —>(5w6b,3w4,8wB)
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ||||||||
》Tri with Instinct variants《
5[So/Sx/Sp]w6[So/Sp/Sx]
3[Sp/So/Sx]w2[So/Sp/Sx]
8[Sp/So/Sx]w9[So/Sp/Sx]
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ||||||||
Instinct variant —》So/Sx/Sp
I still haven't completely settled on an Enneagram type for myself.
One: I am critical of myself and very much a perfectionist.
Two: I have a deep-seated desire to be loved, and I enjoy serving others.
Three: I am very image-conscious and have a strong desire to be the best.
Four: Much of my identity revolves around being unique.
Five: I am detached and driven to accumulate knowledge in an effort to arm myself against the difficulties of life.
Nine: I am peacekeeping to a fault.
6, 7 and 8 are the only types to which I have little resemblance.
Type me here: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...nnaire-(Nunki)
I always think of you being either a 4 or a 5. You have the intensity and introspection of both those types, as well as the mental nature of the five. I think you once said you’re LEVF in Psychosophy, which would make a lot of sense for a 5, and perhaps a 4, too. Just my two cents.
At the present time 9w1 seems to make the most sense. I thought 4 for a while and my fam think that too from descriptions, but it prob because they think I’m weird and have a mood disorder. A lot of 4’s seem to have mood disorders. maybe that’s why I’ve thought I was one in the past. maybe if I read more about enneagram I’d be more confidant, but tbh it just seems like another rabbit hole like socionics and I doubt I’d ever be certain even after reading a bunch about it lol
You definitely belong to the 4-6-9 Tritype, but I have a hard time guessing which specific combo you are, and most of all, what’s your main Enneatype. You have a lot of 4 and 9 traits. I think 9s are more concrete and less abstract.
4s are usually at least somewhat aware of what they seek in life or in people. 9s are more laidback and don’t often know what they want out of life. 9s can figure out what they want if they dive deeper into themselves, and accept the fact that sometimes personal growth (and reaching fulfillment) requires disrupting the peaceful flow of things.
There’s more I could say but I’ll leave it at that. The good thing is that you’re only in between two types and not, like, five of them lol. You’re almost there. And of course, you don’t have to figure it out.
I have the anxiety and the fear of uncertainty of a 6, but not the trust issues—although I don’t quite trust in myself, I admit. Sometimes I have the emotionality of a 4, and also occasionally the envy, but I didn’t really know what I wanted out of life until very recently, nor did I care. I also don’t care about being unique; I’d rather live a mundane, peaceful life.
If there’s one thing that annoys me, depresses me, or strikes fear into me the most, it’s the constant upheaval, transformation, and change that simply living in this world entails. I don’t like change, unless it’s positive change, and even positive changes stress me out sometimes because it’s not what I’m used to. I don’t grow used to most things easily. I like to ensure things stay the same during certain periods of my life, and I don’t think about the future enough sometimes out of fear of accepting the possibility of some outcome I dislike. I’ve had to learn to deal with this by just being stoic and resigning myself to the reality of certain situations… Some shit just sucks and we can’t do anything to change it, but we can control how we react to the shit that sucks.
I think type 9 suits me best, despite me not being as calm as typical 9s are. But I do strive to maintain peace of mind and peace in my environment the way many 9s do, and I like to mediate. I also have the exhausting perfectionism of both types 6 and 1, but that might be correlated to my OCD.
sp/sx/so 8w9 854. Though I find enneagram to be kinda bullshit honestly. I'd rather just have socionics, attitudinal psyche and big five.
I came to the conclusion that my E-type is most likely 7, with a 6 wing,
because E1 is my stress point and E5 is my point of growth. People with E1, esp. sx1, gets on my nerves.
If I'd be E5 then people with E8 would cause me more stress, but that's not the case, usually.
But E7 is a extraverted type, so ILE is more likely for me then LII.