Question for INTjs about cheating

[intjguy]

I can't believe throughout all this mumble jumble no one wondered if there are children in the matter.

You guys are all selfish, delusional wankers.

[Pa3s]

You guys are all selfish, delusional wankers.

How's your bathroom stalking trick working out? Good?

[Beautiful sky]

I agree with you that an ESE would take more time deliberating on the situation then an LII once given all of the facts. But in both cases, the LII and ESE can see that this is a situation that needs knowing the facts before answering the question. This isn't just something that an LII goes, "oh well, I don't know the person so who cares if I ruin their life by saying something that I don't even know is true." LII's seek TRUTH. That is what defines their personality. The truth is important to them.

If they don't know if it's true or not they generally say: "wait a minute while I go find out what the right answer is." That's why they make great professors, because what they know, they know, but what they don't know, they have the common sense to not just try and teach you whatever comes to their mind that day and so they say, "hey, let me look that up for you and come back with the right answer on that."

So if given the facts, an LII can go, oh yeah, I know that this is TRUE. So I can say this. But an ESE will stand there going, yeah, that may be true, but what if they take offense? And in the long-run we'll generally go for the less offensive route because "we don't want to hurt someone's feelings." [Although, we still tell the truth, we just generally water it down, lol.] That's the difference.


Again, this question needs more facts in order for it to be a question that you can answer without searing your conscience.

Alright, the TRUTH is:

My ESE friend is asking about what she can tell her friend who is cheating on her husband. So, what should she say?

[yellow82]

Alright, the TRUTH is:

My ESE friend is asking about what she can tell her friend who is cheating on her husband. So, what should she say?

Honestly, your friend probably already has the best answer, she just doesn't realize it. I would simply ask her what she thinks that she should say and then encourage her to say it. Usually, that's what an ESE is looking for. Reassurance. And we're usually right. . . so yeah.

That's what I would do anyway.

[Krig the Viking]

Honestly, your friend probably already has the best answer, she just doesn't realize it. I would simply ask her what she thinks that she should say and then encourage her to say it. Usually, that's what an ESE is looking for. Reassurance. And we're usually right. . . so yeah.

That's what I would do anyway.

That's basically what I was trying to say, too.

[munenori2]

lol classic maritsa thread.

[Beautiful sky]

Honestly, your friend probably already has the best answer, she just doesn't realize it. I would simply ask her what she thinks that she should say and then encourage her to say it. Usually, that's what an ESE is looking for. Reassurance. And we're usually right. . . so yeah.

That's what I would do anyway.

And, the purpose of the LII is to bring this un-yet realized answer up to the conscious. Through some nifty technics, for instance analysis.

[woofwoofl]

Robert Fripp - Ne-LII
Bill Bruford - Ne-LII
Adrian Belew - Ne-ILE
Tony Levin - Ti-LSI

[Kirana]

I promised myself I wouldn't post here again, but I will. OK, I have 2 ESE friends - one from way back in school, the other a colleague. Actually they do like to ask me, an LII, this type of question. But because they know me well by now, they also know I will not give a straight answer precisely because of my Ne, which for some bizarre reason is precisely why they plague me with such things. If I didn't like them so much, it would be annoying. People treat INTjs like oracles. They expect the answer to solve their problems but are spectacularly poor at asking the right question correctly.

I agree this question is too open-ended, there are simply too many possible variants that could change the advice, generating very many possible answers and it is extremely difficult to rank them without more information. Yes, the Ne helps analysis considerably, but with variables opened up so broadly - clearly the questioner doesn't understand what it is like to be swamped by way, way, too many possible scenarios for a conscious mind to process. Aside from circumstances, it isn't even clear what is wanted - support, or a solution? Is there a subtext that emotional people often have in their questions but always forget to explicitly mention? and so on. The question as posed does not have nearly enough information, and the possible answer suggested assumes either the LII already knows some facts or social rules of thumb applicable for this case, or is giving a canned answer because she isn't really interested in giving serious assistance. Even so, if I were really not interested, it's quite hard to imagine myself even bothering to give a canned answer rather than no answer or a deflective reply. And, the canned answer varies by INTj. If I were forced to pick a set of assumptions to define the limits of the case and thus pick the likeliest best answer, I might not have chosen that line of reasoning. "First off, probably best for her to stop the cheating" might be my opener, before explaining how that is beneficial across many likely scenarios that might unfold.

If it was one of my 2 friends, I would invariably (because they're friends and so I consider it worthwhile to even entertain these quite pointless questions) help them feel out the question more by asking for more information. Either this helps them think through the problem and discover what they want to do all along, or discover what the situation needs (which is what an INTj is good at and what few other people would focus on even though obviously it is the most important part) as opposed to what the people want to hear, or at least I would get more information to narrow down the possible range of situations and therefore the possible range of helpful answers.