Quasi-Identical Relations: Stories and Experiences

[glam]

with long-term & deeper interaction with EII, i find that it's easy for us to end up quarreling over relatively "minor" details, despite both of us drawing the same general conclusion over the matter at hand. "minor" in quotes because upon reflection afterwards, the arguments do often seem unnecessary, though during the actual disagreements, defense of your own perspective make the differences seem quite "major".

it becomes very wearing, and necessary to spend time away from each other.

[anndelise]

with long-term & deeper interaction with EII, i find that it's easy for us to end up quarreling over relatively "minor" details, despite both of us drawing the same general conclusion over the matter at hand. "minor" in quotes because upon reflection afterwards, the arguments do often seem unnecessary, though during the actual disagreements, defense of your own perspective make the differences seem quite "major".

it becomes very wearing, and necessary to spend time away from each other.

I would say that from an outsider's perspective, this seems to fit well my NiFe bro and FiNe mom's relationship.

They get along great when they are together but need breaks from each other. If they don't get that break, a slight misunderstanding on either's side can spiral into a kind of spat, ending in ill feelings and one or both running away from the situation. They seemed to hold a resentment for a bit, and then the relationship would resume moving back onto good grounds.


Regarding OP...it'd be scarier to see two extroverts like that.

[Iris]

Regarding OP...it'd be scarier to see two extroverts like that.

It's very polite, really. To a point. I try really hard, then some of my Beta harshness comes out and offends the IEE's Fi. Then she protests and I am shocked that she cares so much about what I just said. Then I feel immature and like I have no manners but I bluster and make excuses for myself. Ugh. Then I apologize. (But I secretly really think she is way too sensitive.)

[anndelise]

It's very polite, really. To a point. I try really hard, then some of my Beta harshness comes out and offends the IEE's Fi. Then she protests and I am shocked that she cares so much about what I just said. Then I feel immature and like I have no manners but I bluster and make excuses for myself. Ugh. Then I apologize. (But I secretly really think she is way too sensitive.)

Is it a comfortable politness or a forced one?

I know that with NiFe's I have to be careful of what I say, as it easily leads to misunderstandings and arguments. I constantly feel as if I'm walking on nails around them. "Beta harshness" with "Delta over-sensitivities" sounds like an apt description.
I'm glad to hear that apologies work with FeNis, cuz even when I try to apologize to my NiFe friend, the apology gets accused of being patronizing or some other negative thing. I haven't been able to get one to come out right even once, yet.

Edited to add, ugh, sorry for the tangent, feel free to ignore it. I'm more curious about the first question.