Fi as love

[anndelise]

The slut ruined my chances with half a dozen other girls.

And your stuckness on her is ruining your chances with two dozen other girls.

which would you prefer?

continue on the road your on now, losing those two dozen and that one special one....

or...

take your losses up to now and walk away from the road you are on, enjoying the two dozen and that one special one that await

[Typeless Wonder]

I don't understand all of the animosity toward Dioklecian. Obviously he's upset about what happened to him and just minimizing his feelings and telling him to just forget it isn't going to work. I'm sure we can all empathize with feeling like we got a raw deal and that injustice was done toward us. The feelings count regardless of how they came about.

[Slacker]

I don't feel any animosity toward him. I feel sorry for him because he's having trouble dealing with this and I think his reaction is just making things worse for him.

I feel some kind of maternal thing, not animosity at all.

[anndelise]

I don't understand all of the animosity toward Dioklecian. Obviously he's upset about what happened to him and just minimizing his feelings and telling him to just forget it isn't going to work. I'm sure we can all empathize with feeling like we got a raw deal and that injustice was done toward us. The feelings count regardless of how they came about.

1. he's belittling all Fi types
2. he's been going on about this girl for months now
3. some of us have spent time trying to acknowledge and support his emotions/thoughts on this matter
4. he's not giving the whole story, and if you were aware of the story in its entirety, you'd realize that this girl is not to blame for his emotions now, he is
5. he attempted to force this girl to meet with his expecations, and she refused to, and now he's bitching about it.
6. he's belittling ALL Fi types because we don't to meet his unreal expectations

[Dioklecian]

But thats' what I mean about Fi, you don't really care, you say its' nothing, but if this same things happened to you, if a guy for instance just slept with your friend and left you, you would cry bloody murder.

Uhm, he was INTp and he is alive and kicking. How does that fit into your little Fi/love theory?[/quote]

Well you see, you remember the insult, the betrayal that the bastard made to you, you don't just say ohh its' nothing, boys will be boys or something like that.

Because its' not allright to feel used, to feel betrayed, to feel humiliated, to feel that someone lured you into having feelings for them for selfish reasons and when you were no longer convenient they not only left you, but they erased even the MEMORY from their heads.

[Dioklecian]

Well you guys say that Fi is love: what KIND of love is it when people simply and completely FORGET YOU! Fe people at least don't FORGET this kind of thing.

which infj, isfj, enfp, or esfp has actually stated that "Fi is love"???

Ups sorry

I was bussy with my pain

All Fi dominant types claim that Fi is love, most of my girlfriends have been Fi types, and 100 % of them were F types.

OH, what's the word i'm looking for...oh, it's right on the tip of my tongue....oh..oh wait, there it is..

BULLSHIT!!!

I have yet to see an Fi person say that "Fi is love".
---

a kiss is not the same as sex..
whatever many years ago is not the same as it just occuring

and Dio...you've HAD someone attempt to understand your side of the story...and what did you do with it????

You REVERTED right back to this crap!!!!

Ann you know that I appreciated your effort, but it didn't resolv by feelings of having been used and humiliated.

[Slacker]

She probably remembers, dio, if that makes you feel better. She is probably lying about not remembering, because it's easier to say she doesn't remember than try to explain it to you or continue talking about it for so long.

[Kim]

The problem that people are having is that your humiliation, anger and hurt lead to unfair generalizations. I acknowledge that it sucks to get hurt like that, but this has nothing to do with type. I could add other types to my INTp list.

[Dioklecian]

She probably remembers, dio, if that makes you feel better. She is probably lying about not remembering, because it's easier to say she doesn't remember than try to explain it to you or continue talking about it for so long.

You have no idea Nicky, but she really doesn't remember, its' crazy!!

[Dioklecian]

The problem that people are having is that your humiliation, anger and hurt lead to unfair generalizations. I acknowledge that it sucks to get hurt like that, but this has nothing to do with type. I could add other types to my INTp list.

I agree with you very much, but I ma trying to understand what Fi as a second function is, is it attachement, is it passion, is it love? What is it and how long does it last?

[Dioklecian]

I don't feel any animosity toward him. I feel sorry for him because he's having trouble dealing with this and I think his reaction is just making things worse for him.

I feel some kind of maternal thing, not animosity at all.

Thank you, I need a hug

[Dioklecian]

Here is what a lovely Fi person thinks of men:

-- “Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.” Cher quote

[Dioklecian]

“A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.” Cher quote

[Dioklecian]

I'm still friends with all my exes, apart from my husbands.
Cher

[MySaviour]

This is funny..

[Dioklecian]

This is funny..

Care to elaborate?

[MySaviour]

This is funny..

Care to elaborate?

Did I?

[aestrivex]

Dioklecian.

This unfortunate escapade has absolutely NOTHING to do with socionics. you should understand that socionics is not a catch-all for every aspect of human psychology. in particular, the idea that Fi is love is not only flawed but also thoroughly irrelevant to this escapade.

why would you suggest that this escapade, however displeasing it may be for you, relates in any way to socionics?

[Dioklecian]

Dioklecian.

This unfortunate escapade has absolutely NOTHING to do with socionics. you should understand that socionics is not a catch-all for every aspect of human psychology. in particular, the idea that Fi is love is not only flawed but also thoroughly irrelevant to this escapade.

why would you suggest that this escapade, however displeasing it may be for you, relates in any way to socionics?

People keep bothering me about this but I am completely right: socionics STARTED IN THE FIRST place as a theory to explain marital relations and their conflicts, so anything that has to do with that topic is Socionics. Our job is to explain the various phenomena with the aid of functions, but the subject matter is very clear, just read the history of socionics in any website.

[Dioklecian]

Dioklecian.

This unfortunate escapade has absolutely NOTHING to do with socionics. you should understand that socionics is not a catch-all for every aspect of human psychology. in particular, the idea that Fi is love is not only flawed but also thoroughly irrelevant to this escapade.

why would you suggest that this escapade, however displeasing it may be for you, relates in any way to socionics?

This is what admin in this site says about Fi:

Socionics function: white ethics - relation - relational ethics
subjective emotional relationships between objects - attraction vs. repulsion, like vs. dislike, need of each other, love, friendship, antipathy, ethical norms, morals, qualitative properties, subjective judgments

[aestrivex]

People keep bothering me about this but I am completely right: socionics STARTED IN THE FIRST place as a theory to explain marital relations and their conflicts, so anything that has to do with that topic is Socionics. Our job is to explain the various phenomena with the aid of functions, but the subject matter is very clear, just read the history of socionics in any website.

uh...

in short, that highlighted section does not compute.

[Dioklecian]

Lytov: You are right – Augusta started from relationships, not from types. The subject of socionics is the human relations in the broadest meaning.

[aestrivex]

Dioklecian.

This unfortunate escapade has absolutely NOTHING to do with socionics. you should understand that socionics is not a catch-all for every aspect of human psychology. in particular, the idea that Fi is love is not only flawed but also thoroughly irrelevant to this escapade.

why would you suggest that this escapade, however displeasing it may be for you, relates in any way to socionics?

This is what admin in this site says about Fi:

Socionics function: white ethics - relation - relational ethics
subjective emotional relationships between objects - attraction vs. repulsion, like vs. dislike, need of each other, love, friendship, antipathy, ethical norms, morals, qualitative properties, subjective judgments

correct, Fi in part deals with love. however by generalizing the function of Fi to ignore the other 15 some odd characteristics is a complete generalization and, considering only one mere section of the broad definition of Fi is considered, cannot be considered a complete representation of Fi.

how can you possibly not see this?

[Dioklecian]

At this time I am interestd in the love aspects of Fi in particular, not necessarily the other functions. Although I still believe that it is the Fi in all of us that provides positive feelings.

[aestrivex]

Lytov: You are right – Augusta started from relationships, not from types. The subject of socionics is the human relations in the broadest meaning.

THIS IS IRRELEVANT. take a course in introductory logic. the idea that socionics is important in human relations DOES NOT mean that it can explain every aspect of human relations, and furthermore DOES NOT mean that it can explain any one aspect of human relations.

[aestrivex]

At this time I am interestd in the love aspects of Fi in particular, not necessarily the other functions. Although I still believe that it is the Fi in all of us that provides positive feelings.

fine, fair enough. but under these circumstances, you can't generalize Fi the way you've been doing the whole thread. Fi does not equal only love and thereby, (in your opinion) only treachery because Fi does not equal only love. is betrayal a portion of Fi? possibly.

[Dioklecian]

I still think that love is the main propertu of Fi (together with hate of course). What else is these?

[aestrivex]

Fi can be characterized as emotion on an internal level. In addition to love, you have all types of emotions. Fi furthermore reflects a comprehensive moralistic understanding based on internal perception of what is right.


Now love is definitely included in this definition, but stating that Fi is entirely comprised of love is absurd when all of the above factors of Fi are considered.

[Expat]

She probably remembers, dio, if that makes you feel better. She is probably lying about not remembering, because it's easier to say she doesn't remember than try to explain it to you or continue talking about it for so long.

You have no idea Nicky, but she really doesn't remember, its' crazy!!

1) Nicky's probably right
2) If she did come on to you for a sustained period, as you say, and if - for the sake of argument - she really does not remember that, as in having no recollection, then it has nothing to do with type: she's slightly nuts. So why try to find some sense into what she did or not?

So, according to your own interpretation of events, the answer is simple: you were just unlucky to meet such a girl.

[Dioklecian]

po

[Minde]

Its' an illusion, Fi people don't really love you, they make you feel as if they do.

Perhaps instead of exploring functions, you should first reevaluate your definition of love? What is it? Is it a feeling? Is it words? Or is it more?

After you know what love is, how to define it, you can then move on to comparing it with... whatever you want to compare it with. But until then, any attempts to associate the ability or inability to love with personality type will be fruitless.

[Expat]

Dio, come on.

I know it's very easy to comment on such things from the outside, I'll not make any remarks about "move on" etc since I know it's not easy.

But the answers are plain.

If she pursued you to the point where you actually considered having sex (I'm assuming that's not her first approach to boys ), and you declined, IF she actually does not remember you, in the sense of not knowing who you are, then she has a serious problem that has nothing to do with being etc.

On the other hand, I think it's equally possible that she's just annoyed at you and lying - which does not speak well for her character either.

Moreover -- she tried to kiss you in front of her boyfriend? To which purpose? What was she thinking, if anything?

If she actually forgot about you - she's a very troubled girl and there's nothing you can or should do.

If she's lying - she's pissed off at you (not without some reason from her POV) but still acted badly IMO, so you should consider it quits.

I don't think for a moment that all teenagers are like this, but it is stories like that that make me glad I'm not a teenager anymore.

[Expat]

This led to me Rejecting her in public in all those occasions when she approached me. Such negative experiences are routinely wiped out of the ESFP I have been told in told to not make them feel bad.

Bullshit. Unless you were one in many - like in dozens - of boys she was approaching at the time, one can't just totally wipe out something like that of their minds. Like with self-hypnosis? Vulcan mind meld? Alien abduction? They may not actively want to remember it, and be annoyed if the someone does remind them of it, but that is not the same as actually, "physically", not being able to remember it.

[Creepy-bg]

ESFps are not nearly as bad as they seem to be characterized as here. In my experience they do have a tendency to live in the moment however this does not mean that they are incapable of remembering bad memories. On the contrary ESFps can have a tendency to deeply feel bad memories when in solitude. When mixed with their amazing ability to enjoy the present this can make them seem very bipolar.

ugh... that wasn't a very clear thought. Let me just say that your mentioning she kissed you in front of a boyfriend as well as many other people makes me think that this was most likely a part of some jealousy game involving said boyfriend. ESFps are masters at using these sorts of situations to elicit strong emotions in their significant others. In my opinion she remembers what happened but spared you the truth in favor of the less painfull (in her opinion) untruth that she didn't remember it/you.

Get on the wrong end of an ESFp and they'll remember every negative experience you've ever had with them. Trust me their memories of the bad things can be quite amazing when provoked.

[Kim]

ESFps are not nearly as bad as they seem to be characterized as here.

The stereotype of the slutty ESFp is indeed fabulously annoying.

As for this particular one, who knows, perhaps she was interested, felt rejected, was hurt, moved on and is now merely protecting herself?

[Dioklecian]

ESFps are not nearly as bad as they seem to be characterized as here.

The stereotype of the slutty ESFp is indeed fabulously annoying.

As for this particular one, who knows, perhaps she was interested, felt rejected, was hurt, moved on and is now merely protecting herself?

Again, she completely forgot the attraction between us, itsè amazing, she remebers my name, but she is like: and so what....

[MySaviour]

Forrest Gump.

[Dioklecian]

Forrest Gump.

?????