yeah that sounds right, and as much as it pains me to capitulate to societal norms, it puts me in an odd position when my male friend does this because it comes across as caregiver seeking in a way that slightly crosses both gender and friendship lines, so it always leaves me feeling a bit like ive let him down but also a bit like he put me in an odd position where it was slightly inappropriate of him to make those "requests" of me--you said you do this between a ESE woman you like so that is different of course. I like that he's not hypermasculine of course, but at the same time I don't know how to react because its really not my style to respond in a reciprocal manner