I second this advice: create some distance between the two of you and things will be more peaceful. If you can make sure that your needs are being met by a) yourself, as B&D said, and b) other friends and family, this will got a long way towards NOT growing resentful of your partner for not meeting your needs. I know a conflict couple SLE/EII who are currently in marital therapy (after 20+ years of a pretty bad marriage) and it's not going well but if they do stay together, which they probably will because they have an entire life together including children, they will just need to lower their expectations. They'll never be soul mates, they'll never really be able to work together, they'll have to take things lightly and learn to laugh at the problems, enjoy the 2 or 3 things they like to do together and the couple friends they share, or else give up altogether.

I also know a dual marriage SLE/IEI that broke up after 15 years due to infidelity and unhealthiness with both individuals. So... there's NEVER a guarantee, no matter what one's type.