Magic of Duality

[ScarlettLux]

So I recently met my same sex dual LSI (yes I think I'm an EIE, always have) and whoa... it's so true, after the first time we met I felt an intense need to meet and talk with her again. We spent 5 hours together just talking and it was like the most... open conversation I have ever had with someone so quickly.

I don't know what the hell happened but we emptied our souls to each-other so easily and naturally. I felt like telling her everything about me. I must sound in love or something, but maybe I am infatuated now! I'm straight, but I seriously started questioning myself for a little while afterwards. It's made me accept that you can fall in love with anyone regardless of sexual orientation even moreso than I accepted before - because I actually see myself being able to now.

I feel like I've known her for a long time and we had all these crazy parallels. I mean, I've met LSIs before and we usually always get along amazingly but there was something else that clicked... everything matched, subtypes, values, ...

I just wanted to let everyone know

It's honestly made me question my own relationship with my boyfriend. I know this sounds extreme but I guess this really pushed it over the edge almost... I feel like I don't know about anything anymore... aksdfjlksdfjs

[shakealittle]

That's awesome .... the beginnings of relationships usually sound like this. But heck, enjoy it

I will say, though, that my favourite, most complimentary dual is the same sex as me. I met her when I was in primary school (forget what the US call this) and we drifted apart when she got jealous of my other friendships *eye roll.* But we are friends on facebook and yup we still love similar things and I would so love to be part of her life again but it's not going to happen. Wish we couldve grown up together.

[rat1]

die in pandas

[GuavaDrunk]

Good to hear.

Now I want my own to pet and call Squishy. >.< Nice music rat.

[Radio]

It's honestly made me question my own relationship with my boyfriend.

This is around the point where you should stop taking Socionics seriously.

[ScarlettLux]

This is around the point where you should stop taking Socionics seriously.

You don't even know the entire context of the situation.. I wasn't serious as in omg I met diz dual chick Ima go break up with my BF now... No. I wasn't even talking about HER in general... just brought up some feelings.

[Codie]

I had feelings like that when I 1st met a dual girl, didn't know about socionics back then. On the negative side, it didn't work out.. it did long-term in the aspect of me growing as a person.
O.k, labels help to define us but they don't mean much at all. when people ask me, I say im a lesbian because I'm romantically as well as sexually interested in girls only, for the last few years. I've been into both genders in the past.

[Leader]

....On average people meet dozens of other new people every few weeks....in that short period of time, you're bound to meet your dual at least once. What makes -this- one interaction so special? There is no magic, just sounds like your infactuated for some reason.

[MisterNi]

....On average people meet dozens of other new people every few weeks....in that short period of time, you're bound to meet your dual at least once. What makes -this- one interaction so special? There is no magic, just sounds like your infactuated for some reason.

Yes and how's that kind of attitude worked out with and your dual so far?

[Leader]

Yes and how's that kind of attitude worked out with and your dual so far?

Dunno, I don't see types. I see people.

[InkStrider]

Dunno, I don't see types. I see people.

Some people here treat people as types. Others treat people as people with types.

Most people here are sane enough to know the distinction and would fall under the latter category.

This is a typology forum.

[ScarlettLux]

....On average people meet dozens of other new people every few weeks....in that short period of time, you're bound to meet your dual at least once. What makes -this- one interaction so special? There is no magic, just sounds like your infactuated for some reason.

She's really pretty lol

[MisterNi]

She's really pretty lol

lol

[1981slater]

She's really pretty lol

Any pretty girl can become a dual in our heads

[InvisibleJim]

Infactuated's purty cewl plase too bee.

[ScarlettLux]

Even if I was just "infatuated" the fact of the matter is I know she's my dual ... LSIs are so obvious ...

[Gilly]

It's just finding two puzzle pieces that fit next to each other.

Doesn't always make the picture clearer though.

Nobody get their fucking hopes up, ok???


...fuck, how is it that I'M the one on this side of the fence? You all are too full of sap, you need to be drained of Disney and maple love syrup.

Life is so much bigger than you think.

[Leader]

Anyone can become easily infatuated and fall in love, but when you become infatuated with a dual, it's somehow different. It's hard to describe... it's almost like you've found a missing puzzle piece.

No. Infatuation is infatuation.

And if you're really with an SLE, and if you're really IEI, or whatever you are...you should know better. Especially being around Se and Ti so much, which would have dragged your ass from out of the fairytale fantasy land clouds you're living in and back down to reality.

[mu4]

I've worked with a dual for 12 years, and it really is one of the best possible relationships you can have in life. I didn't even know it until 6 years into it, but everything is easy and generally without fuss.

It's magical in the sense you never feel fake and they never seem fake.

[Suz]

I've worked with a dual for 12 years, and it really is one of the best possible relationships you can have in life. I didn't even know it until 6 years into it, but everything is easy and generally without fuss.

It's magical in the sense you never feel fake and they never seem fake.

I feel like i can't be fake with my dual even if i wanted to be. Like, I never WANT to be fake with them. That's what keeps me coming back, that feeling of being able to be real.

[Creepy-Snaps]

If you try to use your weak Role function, duals ignore it, and if you're stressing over your POLR, which your dual is good at and can make up for, they don't really regard it as important anyway.

[Joy]

So I recently met my same sex dual LSI (yes I think I'm an EIE, always have) and whoa... it's so true, after the first time we met I felt an intense need to meet and talk with her again. We spent 5 hours together just talking and it was like the most... open conversation I have ever had with someone so quickly.

I don't know what the hell happened but we emptied our souls to each-other so easily and naturally. I felt like telling her everything about me. I must sound in love or something, but maybe I am infatuated now! I'm straight, but I seriously started questioning myself for a little while afterwards. It's made me accept that you can fall in love with anyone regardless of sexual orientation even moreso than I accepted before - because I actually see myself being able to now.

I feel like I've known her for a long time and we had all these crazy parallels. I mean, I've met LSIs before and we usually always get along amazingly but there was something else that clicked... everything matched, subtypes, values, ...

I just wanted to let everyone know

It's honestly made me question my own relationship with my boyfriend. I know this sounds extreme but I guess this really pushed it over the edge almost... I feel like I don't know about anything anymore... aksdfjlksdfjs

That's so awesome and exciting! I'm a teensy bit jealous, lol. I'd say just roll with it, enjoy the connection without analyzing it too. Trust your gut. It'll all sort itself out.

As much as I love the idea of two hot "straight" girls hitting it off and getting it on, I do wanna say that you shouldn't assume that the rush you're getting is sexual or romantic in nature (unless, of course, you're fantasizing about undressing this girl, etc. )... I mean, finding someone that you really click with and admire who feels the same about you is always exhilarating! That doesn't mean she's your soul mate or one true love or whatever. Maybe it just means that making awesome new friends is awesome. ^_^

Dual friends duelize you so you'll be ready to spar!

Yes!

[Beautiful sky]

Anyone who doesn't understand the value of duality is insane.

[InvisibleJim]

Duals aren't as important for 50% of people as we think. For the other 50% they are more important.

No sanity or insanity required.

[Ave]

Anyone who doesn't understand the value of duality is insane.

If thats the case then I belong in a padded room.

[Joy]

When did this topic stray from SL's bicuriosity???

[Joy]

If thats the case then I belong in a padded room.

Famous words of someone who has not properly experienced it!

[silke]

... I feel like I've known her for a long time and we had all these crazy parallels. I mean, I've met LSIs before and we usually always get along amazingly but there was something else that clicked... everything matched, subtypes, values, ...

I've experienced this kind of thing even with non-duals. If anything, I blame limbic attractors for this.

[Gilly]

very plausible

[FDG]

Maybe we become so infatuated with our duals because we've somehow already programed these socionics relations into our brains & when we find a potential dual it sets off this "limbic attractor" thing. "omg an attractive dual & we have chemistry! I've found my soulmate!!!!!!"

But then what if the other person who knows absolutely nothing about socionics becomes equally enchanted & attached? In that scenario it makes you wonder if there really is something to it; or perhaps you've just set off some kind of subconscious trigger in their mind.

Mmhm, I've dated a lot (well, 4) of duals before ever having known about socionics. I don't think there is any doubt that there's something to it.

[Absurd]

Duality is fantastic.

[blackburry]

Maybe we become so infatuated with our duals because we've somehow already programed these socionics relations into our brains & when we find a potential dual it sets off this "limbic attractor" thing. "omg an attractive dual & we have chemistry! I've found my soulmate!!!!!!"

But then what if the other person who knows absolutely nothing about socionics becomes equally enchanted & attached? In that scenario it makes you wonder if there really is something to it; or perhaps you've just set off some kind of subconscious trigger in their mind.

When I like someone, I like 'em regardless of type. However...the times where I feel most understood and ..honestly a lil thrilled are when they have the same mindset as me..."get" my jokes entirely..and make me laugh wholeheartedly..which yeah, only fellow Gammas have ever made me feel -- I'm typing very loosely, because when interacting, socionics doesn't really pop into my head until much later when I'm trying to figure out what went wrong in a relationship. but yeah, people with similiar senses of humor/lifestyles/mindsets...I tend to think of as my "quadra", my cliche.. I'm on here b/c I like to think about it while on this little webpage, but once I x out, I don't take it seriously enough to try to learn anything more or actually do anything with it. So yes and no. I've yet to fall so hard for anyone as much as I have when in a relationship with a LIE. no matter how much I complain.

[Slacker]

Maybe we become so infatuated with our duals because we've somehow already programed these socionics relations into our brains & when we find a potential dual it sets off this "limbic attractor" thing. "omg an attractive dual & we have chemistry! I've found my soulmate!!!!!!"

But then what if the other person who knows absolutely nothing about socionics becomes equally enchanted & attached? In that scenario it makes you wonder if there really is something to it; or perhaps you've just set off some kind of subconscious trigger in their mind.

I met and married my husband long before learning about socionics.

[Slacker]

Hmm well the first time I met him I was very drawn to him, but it was at a party and we were drunk, and I used to get drawn to guys very easily when drunk. But then we went out a few times and I thought he didn't like me, though I still liked him. He just seemed sullen and silent. It wasn't really until he was about to go back home that I realized I didn't want him to leave. (He was just here visiting a friend who lives in my town.) When he came back, it was more like a real relationship. But the first feelings I had were comfort and trust. And curiosity, like "why does he keep wanting to go out if he doesn't like me?" "He asks me out, and we go out, but then he doesn't say anything the whole time." But the comfort and trust things were way different than what I'd felt earlier. My first boyfriend was SLI but that was when I was 15 so I don't think I would have been comfortable with a guy even if the comfort thing was related to duality.

[Eliza Thomason]

Hmm well the first time I met him I was very drawn to him, but it was at a party and we were drunk, and I used to get drawn to guys very easily when drunk. But then we went out a few times and I thought he didn't like me, though I still liked him. He just seemed sullen and silent. It wasn't really until he was about to go back home that I realized I didn't want him to leave. (He was just here visiting a friend who lives in my town.) When he came back, it was more like a real relationship. But the first feelings I had were comfort and trust. And curiosity, like "why does he keep wanting to go out if he doesn't like me?" "He asks me out, and we go out, but then he doesn't say anything the whole time." But the comfort and trust things were way different than what I'd felt earlier. My first boyfriend was SLI but that was when I was 15 so I don't think I would have been comfortable with a guy even if the comfort thing was related to duality.

I enjoyed this. And "comfort and trust" was huge after meeting my SLI. And I felt that way our whole correspondence before that, too, it's just that I didn't trust it entirely since I hadn't met him in person. But I felt it as soon as I met him.

[Hitta]

Womb idealization actually is very significant when it comes to duality(not in a socionics sense, as I have no need to compare). You have a baby in a womb. It is comfortable, balanced, secure. It is sitting there, sucking up it's mothers nutrients in almost complete homeostasis. Then all of a sudden the water bursts, everything changes. The baby is pushed out, and what was once one(child in mother) is now two(child outside of mother). Everything is frightening and new. Usually the first thing a baby does when it is outside the womb is cries. For months upon months, the baby cries everytime it needs food, everytime it needs to have a diaper changed, cries everytime that it needs to be held. And from this all of our baser goals are defined as in the earlier stages the baby is trying to decide how to attain the things that it wants through its basic genetic setup.

As the child gets older, the child creates complexes in response to parent interaction in attaining the goals. Basically of how children are brought up and how all of our goals are defined, when it comes to for adult hood there is usually only two scenarios(or some hybrid of these scenarios) that takes place: You have someone who is trying to attain independence(either a rebellious person, or someone that moves away from the home in pursuit of attaining goals, tries to escape their parents shadow), or someone who tries to follow their parents protocol(and try to live up to the idealization of their parents in attaining goals).

[blackburry]

Slacker, when you met your husband, did you find that the initial infatuation stage felt different from your other relationships?

Just gonna comment too.. yeah, my first date with an LIE, my first impression was..HA, he and I aren't going to have anything to talk about and he's not my type. I had been reluctant about even going, he was persistent...which switched, oh wow, this guy is hilarious to easily being able to trust him, and I am not a trusting person. it was a huge growing experience. anyways.

btw, I being facetious when I said duality is bullshit, everything is meaningless.....

[mu4]

Everyone has some similarities and there is a sense of familiarity in one's parent figures then someone that is totally unknown.

It might just be a measure of familiarity and dealing with known quantities that make it easy for us to accept someone that is like our parents and no deeply rooted desire.

[silke]

Maybe we become so infatuated with our duals because we've somehow already programed these socionics relations into our brains & when we find a potential dual it sets off this "limbic attractor" thing. "omg an attractive dual & we have chemistry! I've found my soulmate!!!!!!"

But then what if the other person who knows absolutely nothing about socionics becomes equally enchanted & attached? In that scenario it makes you wonder if there really is something to it; or perhaps you've just set off some kind of subconscious trigger in their mind.

Possibly, but I don't remember getting infatuated with every dual that I've met. For me duality mostly has an effect described in this thread - feels reassuring and somewhat soothing, but it doesn't immediately translate to romantic/sexual chemistry or "omg I've met my soulmate!" kind of deal. If there is a link between duality and limbic system regulation, it is a rather indirect one. That makes a lot of sense, too, because many of one's dual's aren't suitable for intimate or romantic bonding - what if they are of same gender as you? what if they are members of your immediate family? what if they are much older or younger than you? what if by some cultural reasons you cannot be together?

Socionics overall addresses nothing of the richness of people's emotional lives - all the complicated feeling-states one can have and how those feeling states resonate with one anotherr. It deals mostly with cortical needs. It simply points out that there are people who will understand you better based on your complimentary ways of thinking. What follows from this point on can be anything. For example: ScarlettLux had a pleasant interaction with this bew girls that she has met, but at the same time not with discojoe who is also her dual and even one of matching subtype.

[InvisibleJim]

For example: ScarlettLux had a pleasant interaction with this bew girls that she has met, but at the same time not with discojoe who is also her dual and even one of matching subtype.

An interesting case in point and one of the clear examples of how duality is not panacea. If duals are in disagreement there is no doubt whatsoever regarding that disagreement.

On a personal note and completely off topic: I find ScarlettLux user title highly repulsive.