Magic of Duality

[Absurd]

Lol. EVOLUTION.

Once upon a time there was a zebra that contemplated itself in a reflection it saw in the water. It developed a sense of self-awareness and at the same time became perplexed - didn't know if it is a white animal with black stripes or a black animal with white stripes, so it asked a wise baboon if it is a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes. The wise baboon looked at it and said "you are what you are."

Zebra got confused again and asked "what do you mean", and the wise baboon said again "you are what you are!". So off the zebra went to see the giraffe and asked it the same question. Giraffe said it is an easy one and replied "you are a white zebra with black stripes." Surprised zebra asked how giraffe knew this and giraffe said ""If you were a black zebra with white stripes, you'd have asked 'What I be?' and the answer would have been: 'You is what you is.'

Lol. EVOLUTION.

[silke]

... I feel like I've known her for a long time and we had all these crazy parallels. I mean, I've met LSIs before and we usually always get along amazingly but there was something else that clicked... everything matched, subtypes, values, ...

I've experienced this kind of thing even with non-duals. If anything, I blame limbic attractors for this.

[Gilly]

very plausible

[rat1]

Duality is womb idealization. Hitta will tell you how annoying it is to watch women show off their stomach full of babies. Mans instinct is if you can't provide for it, feed it to the wolves.

I never mentioned being someones bitch, you mentioned that. Don't you fuck a girl with anger at times when you are angry at her

[FDG]

Maybe we become so infatuated with our duals because we've somehow already programed these socionics relations into our brains & when we find a potential dual it sets off this "limbic attractor" thing. "omg an attractive dual & we have chemistry! I've found my soulmate!!!!!!"

But then what if the other person who knows absolutely nothing about socionics becomes equally enchanted & attached? In that scenario it makes you wonder if there really is something to it; or perhaps you've just set off some kind of subconscious trigger in their mind.

Mmhm, I've dated a lot (well, 4) of duals before ever having known about socionics. I don't think there is any doubt that there's something to it.

[Absurd]

Duality is fantastic.

[blackburry]

Maybe we become so infatuated with our duals because we've somehow already programed these socionics relations into our brains & when we find a potential dual it sets off this "limbic attractor" thing. "omg an attractive dual & we have chemistry! I've found my soulmate!!!!!!"

But then what if the other person who knows absolutely nothing about socionics becomes equally enchanted & attached? In that scenario it makes you wonder if there really is something to it; or perhaps you've just set off some kind of subconscious trigger in their mind.

When I like someone, I like 'em regardless of type. However...the times where I feel most understood and ..honestly a lil thrilled are when they have the same mindset as me..."get" my jokes entirely..and make me laugh wholeheartedly..which yeah, only fellow Gammas have ever made me feel -- I'm typing very loosely, because when interacting, socionics doesn't really pop into my head until much later when I'm trying to figure out what went wrong in a relationship. but yeah, people with similiar senses of humor/lifestyles/mindsets...I tend to think of as my "quadra", my cliche.. I'm on here b/c I like to think about it while on this little webpage, but once I x out, I don't take it seriously enough to try to learn anything more or actually do anything with it. So yes and no. I've yet to fall so hard for anyone as much as I have when in a relationship with a LIE. no matter how much I complain.

[Slacker]

Maybe we become so infatuated with our duals because we've somehow already programed these socionics relations into our brains & when we find a potential dual it sets off this "limbic attractor" thing. "omg an attractive dual & we have chemistry! I've found my soulmate!!!!!!"

But then what if the other person who knows absolutely nothing about socionics becomes equally enchanted & attached? In that scenario it makes you wonder if there really is something to it; or perhaps you've just set off some kind of subconscious trigger in their mind.

I met and married my husband long before learning about socionics.

[Slacker]

Hmm well the first time I met him I was very drawn to him, but it was at a party and we were drunk, and I used to get drawn to guys very easily when drunk. But then we went out a few times and I thought he didn't like me, though I still liked him. He just seemed sullen and silent. It wasn't really until he was about to go back home that I realized I didn't want him to leave. (He was just here visiting a friend who lives in my town.) When he came back, it was more like a real relationship. But the first feelings I had were comfort and trust. And curiosity, like "why does he keep wanting to go out if he doesn't like me?" "He asks me out, and we go out, but then he doesn't say anything the whole time." But the comfort and trust things were way different than what I'd felt earlier. My first boyfriend was SLI but that was when I was 15 so I don't think I would have been comfortable with a guy even if the comfort thing was related to duality.

[ScarlettLux]

Hypocrites in dis thread rn.

[blackburry]

Slacker, when you met your husband, did you find that the initial infatuation stage felt different from your other relationships?

Just gonna comment too.. yeah, my first date with an LIE, my first impression was..HA, he and I aren't going to have anything to talk about and he's not my type. I had been reluctant about even going, he was persistent...which switched, oh wow, this guy is hilarious to easily being able to trust him, and I am not a trusting person. it was a huge growing experience. anyways.

btw, I being facetious when I said duality is bullshit, everything is meaningless.....

[silke]

Maybe we become so infatuated with our duals because we've somehow already programed these socionics relations into our brains & when we find a potential dual it sets off this "limbic attractor" thing. "omg an attractive dual & we have chemistry! I've found my soulmate!!!!!!"

But then what if the other person who knows absolutely nothing about socionics becomes equally enchanted & attached? In that scenario it makes you wonder if there really is something to it; or perhaps you've just set off some kind of subconscious trigger in their mind.

Possibly, but I don't remember getting infatuated with every dual that I've met. For me duality mostly has an effect described in this thread - feels reassuring and somewhat soothing, but it doesn't immediately translate to romantic/sexual chemistry or "omg I've met my soulmate!" kind of deal. If there is a link between duality and limbic system regulation, it is a rather indirect one. That makes a lot of sense, too, because many of one's dual's aren't suitable for intimate or romantic bonding - what if they are of same gender as you? what if they are members of your immediate family? what if they are much older or younger than you? what if by some cultural reasons you cannot be together?

Socionics overall addresses nothing of the richness of people's emotional lives - all the complicated feeling-states one can have and how those feeling states resonate with one anotherr. It deals mostly with cortical needs. It simply points out that there are people who will understand you better based on your complimentary ways of thinking. What follows from this point on can be anything. For example: ScarlettLux had a pleasant interaction with this bew girls that she has met, but at the same time not with discojoe who is also her dual and even one of matching subtype.

[InvisibleJim]

For example: ScarlettLux had a pleasant interaction with this bew girls that she has met, but at the same time not with discojoe who is also her dual and even one of matching subtype.

An interesting case in point and one of the clear examples of how duality is not panacea. If duals are in disagreement there is no doubt whatsoever regarding that disagreement.

On a personal note and completely off topic: I find ScarlettLux user title highly repulsive.

[ScarlettLux]

ETA: I actually don't really think I'm EIE. I keep getting SEE on every single type test out there. I'm not even trying, serious... blehhh

[Absurd]

Lol, last time you said I was SLE. What happened?

I think he is on drugs. He typed me LIE, SLE, SEE and SLI already. It's pretty funny because when he self-typed ILE he typed me gamma, but twhen he self-typed LIE he typed me beta.

[ScarlettLux]

You just need an LSI to tell you to STOP CHANGING TYPES DAMMIT

LOL haha.. yeah she's an LSI...

[blackburry]

ETA: I actually don't really think I'm EIE. I keep getting SEE on every single type test out there. I'm not even trying, serious... blehhh

Those tests type me SLI, LSI, and IEI, I wouldn't much weight on any of them.

[Ozz]

I thought that exactly because life is meanigless we can try to find solace in relationship and the like (which may somehow have to do with socionics and duality).

FDG, were you taught/told that life is meaningless in a seminars? Or did you concluded that yourself or from books?

[redbaron]

Maybe we become so infatuated with our duals because we've somehow already programed these socionics relations into our brains & when we find a potential dual it sets off this "limbic attractor" thing. "omg an attractive dual & we have chemistry! I've found my soulmate!!!!!!"

But then what if the other person who knows absolutely nothing about socionics becomes equally enchanted & attached? In that scenario it makes you wonder if there really is something to it; or perhaps you've just set off some kind of subconscious trigger in their mind.

my IEI brother and SLE sister-in-law know zero about socionics (nor would they care) but they met at ages 16 and 17 and have been together ever since. It was VERY clear to them that they were soul mates, enchanted, attracted, everything and that hasn't changed now for almost 20 years.

[redbaron]

And at the end of the day, they're still just a person. And there'll be traits about them I find unflattering if not repulsive, there'll be shit we do that gets on each other's nerves, issues on both sides that have to be waded through, etc.

True that they're still just a person. But I have found that I'm less annoyed by their negative traits than other types might be. Sometimes my annoying traits are actually seen as positives by my dual. So there's something to be said for that.

[MisterNi]

Lol, last time you said I was SLE. What happened?

I think he is on drugs. He typed me LIE, SLE, SEE and SLI already. It's pretty funny because when he self-typed ILE he typed me gamma, but twhen he self-typed LIE he typed me beta.

What can I say? I have a hard time typing people with no real personality.

[Absurd]

What can I say? I have a hard time typing people with no real personality.

I agree wholeheartedly seeing you can't even type yourself, Mister Real Personality. I mean, isn't it wrong to toss types at somebody not being sure of your own typing? ILE, LIE, SLE - what next - EIE?

I'm going to give you an advice, shut your gob and wipe that smile off your face.

[Ave]

Anyone who doesn't understand the value of duality is insane.

If thats the case then I belong in a padded room.

[Joy]

When did this topic stray from SL's bicuriosity???

[Joy]

If thats the case then I belong in a padded room.

Famous words of someone who has not properly experienced it!

[Creepy-pokeball]

Nah, you're definitely an Fe-beast.

Why did you use those words of summoning

[Eliza Thomason]

Just wondering how many of you find your dual addicting?

me.

[Eliza Thomason]

Maybe we become so infatuated with our duals because we've somehow already programed these socionics relations into our brains & when we find a potential dual it sets off this "limbic attractor" thing. "omg an attractive dual & we have chemistry! I've found my soulmate!!!!!!"

But then what if the other person who knows absolutely nothing about socionics becomes equally enchanted & attached? In that scenario it makes you wonder if there really is something to it; or perhaps you've just set off some kind of subconscious trigger in their mind.

Well for me it was an attraction that was fast and intense and made no sense and made me want to change my life and causing me to abandon carefully-laid plans for the future. And I never heard of Duality. So I started researching MBTI because I know that system well, having studied it extensively, a long time a few years ago, when I was married, in order to make sense of my marriage and also of my roots. I just wanted to get some kind of better understanding of my ISTp, who is not so much an open book like me.

Then I stumbled on Socionics, and discovered Duality for the first time, and was shocked, absolutely shocked to see that I was following the "playbook" for establishing Dual relations and that having found "my Dual" was a really reasonable explanation of or the unreasonable thing that happened to me.

So, yes, I definitely think there is really something to this Duality.

And the Russians are really, really good art research, with fewer restriction of good honest knowledge-seeking research than we have. Because our research is all tied up in profit. Not so with them, therefore, IMO, frequently much, much better research.

[Eliza Thomason]

Duality is womb idealization. Hitta will tell you how annoying it is to watch women show off their stomach full of babies. Mans instinct is if you can't provide for it, feed it to the wolves.
I never mentioned being someones bitch, you mentioned that. Don't you fuck a girl with anger at times when you are angry at her

I "liked" this by mistake. Actually, I don't like it, and would prefer to ignore it. But I am new, and don't know how to "unlike" after I "like" by mistake...

[Eliza Thomason]

Hmm well the first time I met him I was very drawn to him, but it was at a party and we were drunk, and I used to get drawn to guys very easily when drunk. But then we went out a few times and I thought he didn't like me, though I still liked him. He just seemed sullen and silent. It wasn't really until he was about to go back home that I realized I didn't want him to leave. (He was just here visiting a friend who lives in my town.) When he came back, it was more like a real relationship. But the first feelings I had were comfort and trust. And curiosity, like "why does he keep wanting to go out if he doesn't like me?" "He asks me out, and we go out, but then he doesn't say anything the whole time." But the comfort and trust things were way different than what I'd felt earlier. My first boyfriend was SLI but that was when I was 15 so I don't think I would have been comfortable with a guy even if the comfort thing was related to duality.

I enjoyed this. And "comfort and trust" was huge after meeting my SLI. And I felt that way our whole correspondence before that, too, it's just that I didn't trust it entirely since I hadn't met him in person. But I felt it as soon as I met him.

[Hitta]

Womb idealization actually is very significant when it comes to duality(not in a socionics sense, as I have no need to compare). You have a baby in a womb. It is comfortable, balanced, secure. It is sitting there, sucking up it's mothers nutrients in almost complete homeostasis. Then all of a sudden the water bursts, everything changes. The baby is pushed out, and what was once one(child in mother) is now two(child outside of mother). Everything is frightening and new. Usually the first thing a baby does when it is outside the womb is cries. For months upon months, the baby cries everytime it needs food, everytime it needs to have a diaper changed, cries everytime that it needs to be held. And from this all of our baser goals are defined as in the earlier stages the baby is trying to decide how to attain the things that it wants through its basic genetic setup.

As the child gets older, the child creates complexes in response to parent interaction in attaining the goals. Basically of how children are brought up and how all of our goals are defined, when it comes to for adult hood there is usually only two scenarios(or some hybrid of these scenarios) that takes place: You have someone who is trying to attain independence(either a rebellious person, or someone that moves away from the home in pursuit of attaining goals, tries to escape their parents shadow), or someone who tries to follow their parents protocol(and try to live up to the idealization of their parents in attaining goals).

[Eliza Thomason]

Thanks for the interesting explanation! Didn't realize crazedratPULSE had a point with the womb idealization...

[Hitta]

Women and even men often tend to think of birth as sort of a right to passage. Often women tend to show off their bellies, decorate their kids etc, as children make them feel more in tune with social order; which began at their own birth. They are able to follow through with child just as their parents did before them in order to complete the cycle into permanent adult hood. Children don't meet their parents until after they are born(lol), so the child birth gives parents a special standing position in society in which the child often has a need to fulfill.

[Eliza Thomason]

True - except - babies know their parents when they are born. Their eyes follow both parents voices (unless Dad has been out of the picture) and babies eyes do NOT want to leave Mom's face - until they ruin the moment with those nasty eye drops... Baby knows and craves Mom, the first connection. We are so lucky..

[Hitta]

Freud was right when he said that sexual attraction began at the parenting level(oedipus and electra). All sexual attraction is always a subset of parental connection. All male interactions are tag by presets of interacts with the father. All female interactions are tagged by presets of interactions with the mother.

[rat1]

there is a complex where the male wants to kill the mother I think. I identify alot more with wanting to kill both my parents than wanting to fuck either of them. Freud makes it sound like we're just born with the complex's though, but I think they come from the culture

[Hitta]

well it has nothing to do with wanting to fuck your mother directly, you'd find very few people that would be like "I want to fuck my parents, I want their wrinkly skin on mine". It's more subconscious tagging. When you first come in contact with your mother, you usually use your mother as a starting point for any other female you come in contact with. It's like the point of sexual birth.

[rat1]

well the mother has to be just an archetype in that case.

[Eliza Thomason]

Freud was right when he said that sexual attraction began at the parenting level(oedipus and electra). All sexual attraction is always a subset of parental connection. All male interactions are tag by presets of interacts with the father. All female interactions are tagged by presets of interactions with the mother.

Can you explain this more? I didn't study Freud much, not a favorite. But my mother [ISFJ] was the difficult parent, and controlling, and I married a man[ESFj] even more difficult and controlling than her, and recognized early on that I had "married my mother" rather than my father, who was easier, and kinder. [like my current ISTp]...

I am wondering especially because of my teen son. His Dad is difficult, controlling, manipulative, has a temper - to which my son is exposed, but their visit-based relationship exposes my son to a more postive side. And my son is not an object of wrath like I was. But I worry about the character influence on him.. So wondering what yo mean by "All male interactions are tag by presets of interacts with the father."

My son and I have a good relationship, sometimes difficult when I lay down rules no one else does, particularly moral ones, particularly now that he has a girlfriend. Which is interesting, because no one has noticed how extremely much she is is like me. Not saying anything though! She doesn't like me so much though. I have lost the popularity contest but so what, I was never in it - I am a parent. She much prefers his charming Dad though. I think because he is all complimentary and anything-goes, vs. me who gives them the eye when they lay about in immodest positions, as I seem to be the only adult in their lives who remembers what its like to be a teen...

[Joy]

My dad is one of the most easy going and mellowest people I know, and I tend to be attracted to that. I like people who are that and laugh a lot though, my dad laughs a lot when you get him going, but he doesn't laugh as often as guys I find myself most drawn to.