On duality, marriage, and how much it really matters

[Nowisthetime]

What if there is a wonderful relationship with a non-dual available that you miss?

It also depends on how aware people are of their own reactions and how much experience they have of relationships so they can compare. I have a hard time dating non-duals nowadays because I painfully feel the incompatibility between us, it is uncomfortable and something is lacking. I mean just as a feeling, regardless of what socionics says. I can easily stop thinking about this socionics stuff when dating someone, but I cannot turn off my own awareness, at least not as easily. After all, socioincs predicts my own subjective reactions quite well. In that sense it is not socionics vs. just-follow-your-heart. Because they are often the same.

What if you end up with a dual with whom you have such different views on religion or politics that you just sit and argue all the time, albeit argue very well and effectively due to compatible communication styles?

This is of course possible. And I know lots of ILEs whom I am not particularly fond of. Duality is just one factor, but an important one. It's not like I am going after each dual I meet. But socionics gives me a good hint of whom I should try to get to know better. And it gives me great hope.

And what if you've mistyped yourself, or the other person you're dating or not dating based on Socionics? It all seems very risky to me.

Here again, it's not a matter of my feelings vs. socionics. They often go hand in hand. I meet an ILE, I type her ILE and I discover that I like being with her. Very often things go this way. If for some reason I dont' like being with her, then of course I wont date her. I would never date someone just because I think she is my dual, but often when I like to date someone she IS my dual. Socionics just confirms my own feelings again and again.

[FDG]

As I said to Slacker: I've been dating duals since I was 13. I'm socionically d000000med!

[Pa3s]

I've been dating duals since I was 13. I'm socionically d000000med!

Your life must be a burning hell of pain.

[DirectorAbbie]

Your life must be a burning hell of pain.

Seriously, all those duals? What could be worse?

[Pa3s]

Seriously, all those duals? What could be worse?

It's like eating a bowl of Lucky Charms with only marshmallow pieces in it. [/americanculture]

[Suz]

Your life must be a burning hell of pain.

yeah seriously. Each breakup must be horribly painful...

[Pa3s]

yeah seriously. Each breakup must be horribly painful...

Well, it could have been horrible every single time, but not necessarily. Good and bad relationships can in a rather good way, this depends on how it ends. (I mean without too many quarrels.)

[consentingadult]

Your life must be a burning hell of pain.

If there is a type that plays hard to get, it's ESI.

[Slacker]

OK well I'm pretty sure FDG knows I wasn't saying you should avoid dating your dual.

[FDG]

Your life must be a burning hell of pain.

Indeed, especially from April to October, it can get pretty hot and sweaty in Italy.

yeah seriously. Each breakup must be horribly painful...

Eh, no, not really. With 2 of them we were really young and break-ups happen for futile reasons at that age (between 13 and 17). Another one was crazy, while one went to live abroad permanently short after we started dating, so in both cases there was some pain but definitely manageable. The last one I'm still dating since 4 yrs half.

If there is a type that plays hard to get, it's ESI.

What. They're among the only types that directly respond yes or no if you directly ask them out. How can that be hard to get.

[Pa3s]

Indeed, especially from April to October, it can get pretty hot and sweaty in Italy.

That's exactly what I was talking about. Heat kills.

[consentingadult]

What. They're among the only types that directly respond yes or no if you directly ask them out. How can that be hard to get.

Because "no!" might also mean: "try harder!"

[Suz]

It also depends on how aware people are of their own reactions and how much experience they have of relationships so they can compare. I have a hard time dating non-duals nowadays because I painfully feel the incompatibility between us, it is uncomfortable and something is lacking. I mean just as a feeling, regardless of what socionics says. I can easily stop thinking about this socionics stuff when dating someone, but I cannot turn off my own awareness, at least not as easily. After all, socioincs predicts my own subjective reactions quite well. In that sense it is not socionics vs. just-follow-your-heart. Because they are often the same.



This is of course possible. And I know lots of ILEs whom I am not particularly fond of. Duality is just one factor, but an important one. It's not like I am going after each dual I meet. But socionics gives me a good hint of whom I should try to get to know better. And it gives me great hope.



Here again, it's not a matter of my feelings vs. socionics. They often go hand in hand. I meet an ILE, I type her ILE and I discover that I like being with her. Very often things go this way. If for some reason I dont' like being with her, then of course I wont date her. I would never date someone just because I think she is my dual, but often when I like to date someone she IS my dual. Socionics just confirms my own feelings again and again.

I totally agree. And I have to confirm that from my own experience once you've had a significant positive experience with duality, it's hard to go for something else.