Do you prefer quiet or loud love?

[DirectorAbbie]

Why? I shouldn't have to tell someone how I feel about them, especially not people I love.

True, but not many people can figure it out unless you tell them at least once.

[Codie]

Depends. I like physical touching & kissing in public, if not I feel like the other person might be ashamed to be with me or not serious about me. I also like the relationship to be known among friends & fam. BUT I cringe at sharing feelings and private details out loud, certain things are private.

edit: oops im beta

[Cuddly McFluffles]

Hmm... Loud, public declarations would probably embarass me, and same with heavy PDA. I had a friend with whom I was somewhat intimate try to get cuddly in a bookstore once. I was like, "We're in a store; quit it." Looking back, he didn't seem to care about whether he could be spotted doing that sort of thing. I've always felt that I don't need grandiose-but-empty promises or sappy poems penned to me. I don't know how I would react to one; maybe I'd be flattered and embarassed. My expressions of love have typically been to the point. I did once tell someone I would always love him, a promise I later came to regret, but that's about as dramatic as I have gotten; and frankly, he was the closest friend I've ever had (speaking of kindred), and the feelings weren't romantic. But I digress.Edit: I did write him a poem once, but it had more to do with my spiritual and emotional journey + his effect on it than "I looove this person and would die without him".

[EyeSeeCold]

Hmm... Loud, public declarations would probably embarass me, and same with heavy PDA. I had a friend with whom I was somewhat intimate try to get cuddly in a bookstore once. I was like, "We're in a store; quit it." Looking back, he didn't seem to care about whether he could be spotted doing that sort of thing. I've always felt that I don't need grandiose-but-empty promises or sappy poems penned to me. I don't know how I would react to one; maybe I'd be flattered and embarassed. My expressions of love have typically been to the point. I did once tell someone I would always love him, a promise I later came to regret, but that's about as dramatic as I have gotten; and frankly, he was the closest friend I've ever had (speaking of kindred), and the feelings weren't romantic. But I digress.Edit: I did write him a poem once, but it had more to do with my spiritual and emotional journey + his effect on it than "I looove this person and would die without him".

Interesting. What you described was that you detached yourself from the situation(including your emotional involvement with the person) and looked at it from the Third Person perspective. Your mate was trying to be your mate and you rejected advances because of the environment. Does this mean you value public image over intimacy?

[Cuddly McFluffles]

Interesting. What you described was that you detached yourself from the situation(including your emotional involvement with the person) and looked at it from the Third Person perspective. Your mate was trying to be your mate and you rejected advances because of the environment. Does this mean you value public image over intimacy?

He was not my "mate". He was a friend who wanted the physical benefits of a relationship without pesky little things like monogamy, commitment, or emotional ties. To answer your question shortly: yes.

[EyeSeeCold]

He was not my "mate". He was a friend who wanted the physical benefits of a relationship without pesky little things like monogamy, commitment, or emotional ties. To answer your question shortly: yes.

I take mate to mean friends too, but okay, thanks for the response.

[MisterNi]

He was not my "mate". He was a friend who wanted the physical benefits of a relationship without pesky little things like monogamy, commitment, or emotional ties. To answer your question shortly: yes.

OK, I can agree with you that being friends without monogamy, commitment or emotional ties is not a mate, it's a f**k buddy.

But do you honestly think your public image is more important than being in a close intimate relationship? Because I honestly couldn't imagine one without the other. I mean, you'd want to be with someone you could be both intimate with AND who doesn't constantly humiliate you/make you look bad. Right?

[Cuddly McFluffles]

OK, I can agree with you that being friends without monogamy, commitment or emotional ties is not a mate, it's a f**k buddy. But do you honestly think your public image is more important than being in a close intimate relationship? Because I honestly couldn't imagine one without the other. I mean, you'd want to be with someone you could be both intimate with AND who doesn't constantly humiliate you/make you look bad. Right?

The two are not mutually exclusive, nor did I ever state they were. I value intimacy, both emotional and physical; but I believe there is a time and a place for the latter. Does that mean I value image over intimacy? In a sense. I just didn't feel like explaining myself to someone that I felt was asking an unfair question to begin with, and to whom my explanation probably wouldn't matter.

[Park]

Hey Ryene, screw talking to this JerkNi, come snuggle and have cookies with me. I have some sugary drinks, too.

[Timmy]

True, but not many people can figure it out unless you tell them at least once.

Which is why I am occasionally drawn to express my feelings once, but never twice unless I've grounds to believe the target of my affection has forgotten where I stand.

In general, I am only willing to disclose love/infatuation under one of two circumstances.

1) I'm highly confident the feeling is reciprocated, in which case I don't want to let the opportunity slip away.

2) I'm highly confident the feeling is not and will not be not reciprocated, in which case I feel dishonest hiding how I feel and desire rejection that I may more effectively get over immobilizing feelings of infatuation. This is tricky cause a poorly executed revelation can destroy a friendship, but I've concluded that doing so is well worth this risk and whatever transient ego damage accompanies facing up to the rejection. For, a friendship in which one party yearns for more than a friendship is a dysfunctional friendship, and I have discovered that with rejection and time I am capable of converting infatuation into platonic love, which is truly a beautiful thing and is conducive to the best kind of friendship that can be had.

In all other circumstances I find myself in a perverse double bind. Telling someone you like them prematurely makes them wonder if you are desperate, causes them to worry you are idealizing them to an excessive degree, and forces them to make a decision about how they feel about you before they are ready, none of which works to to the persuer's advantage. On the other hand, hiding one's feelings invariably causes those feelings to intensify and develop in unhealthy ways, resulting in unnatural behavior that likewise doesn't help one to win over another person. For me, inaction is the natural consequence of uncertainty regarding to the best course of action, so mum is the word in such instances.

Although, I find that it is less and less a prerogative of mine to convince others to like me. I've decided that it's much more important for me to love others (and myself) than for others to love me back (although it certainly is easier to love those who will love you back).

[Reuben]

You're right though, it sounds like it wasn't a fair question and it was aimed at goading you into forcing a choice.

Yes, you penis.

What your mom has to do with this, I dont want to know.

Orly ^^

What if you get tired and it's the softest pillow available?

Wolves don't sleep on pillows. Pillows sleep on wolves.

[Aquagraph]

Come to think of it, using a woman as a pillow is great new way to be a sexist. where my victims at..? *looks to the bed*

Nah, it's nice when I'm being used as a pillow or as a source of heat.

[Reuben]

If I ever use my women as pillows, I'll put them in a comfortable pillow case first, tie them up, and spank them hard to a nice fluff.