Do you prefer quiet or loud love?

[FDG]

Wouldn't it be actually best to have an almost "secret" relationship? To a person you can really trust, I mean. You don't need anyone to validate a relationship, nor is it anyones business who you like and why. This way, nobody would be interfering, it would be just you and the other person. Everything that matters, actually.

Ah, idk, I don't even think about loud love as something having to do with boasting with other people about your relationship. More like you know...loud stuff. Idk, like having sex outdoors, lol.

[Reuben]

I like having sex outdoors, without people watching.

[DirectorAbbie]

I like having sex outdoors, without people watching.

Rueben, you're a virgin!

[Reuben]

That doesn't stop me from liking it.

[Reuben]

True, but not many people can figure it out unless you tell them at least once.

you abbie

I like being worshipped by a group of isolated primitives for my great height and seven heads.

OUR GODDESS HAS ARRIVED;
let us bow down our heads in worship
and kiss her decimal toes,
for we would kiss her
on her 7 lips but
but we fear her flaring nose.

And besides we're too damn short to reach it.

[Reuben]

Depends. I like physical touching & kissing in public, if not I feel like the other person might be ashamed to be with me or not serious about me. I also like the relationship to be known among friends & fam. BUT I cringe at sharing feelings and private details out loud, certain things are private.

edit: oops im beta

[Lubingo]

I like it loud...bring the noise

[Galen]

I honestly would not be embarrassed by public displays of affection. If it feels right then I don't see why not.

[jessica129]

The only thing that really creeps me out is hand holding. I hate it so much. It's so awkward. What if I have an itch, what if my hands are sweaty, what if he doesn't like me and doesn't want to hold hands, etc. I'm so clueless about knowing when to touch people or if they want to be touched..how do you gage it??? It's easier to just go in for the kill and grab his penis.

[Sam Rockwell]

I don't like PDA around family members. The thought of scarring their memory of me with something so insignificant as a french kiss is frightening to me. I think it's most comforting when done around other couples, since I tend to notice how the "third wheel" in my party (namely, those who are single), are disgusted with open displays of affection. Quiet love is more preferable, because it saves all of the "guster you could muster" for "I love you's" in a powerful way.

[Reuben]

which is where whispering behind someone's back can come in handy.

[DirectorAbbie]

I say it, nobody hears it, everyone's happy.

[krieger]

for any feeling to be genuine one ought not to be ashamed to outwardly transmit it's expression.



AM I WRONG?! AM I WRONG?!

[Reuben]

transmit

Please carefully reconsider your choice of words.

[krieger]

why? less crypticism. go.

[Park]

for any feeling to be genuine one ought not to be ashamed to outwardly transmit it's expression.

This sentence doesn't make sense. A feeling doesn't become genuine...

[krieger]

my sentence doesn't imply that. what are you talking about?

[Park]

Lotsa work by day; lotsa work by night; and a little "Looking for [INSERT THREAD TITLE HERE]" in between.

Work is good. Keeps you sane.

Pretty excited to see you're still alive, honestly. I feared that whole "Jenna thing" got you perma-banned or something. ...Didn't feel good.

LOL, you thought I was dead? You scare too easily.

We should chat sometimes.

[Pa3s]

Wouldn't it depend on if you were deliberately keeping it secret?

Yes of course, that's why I put the "secret" in quotation marks. It wouldn't be very good for your relationship if nobody is allowed to know about it.

Ah, idk, I don't even think about loud love as something having to do with boasting with other people about your relationship.

It's a matter of taste, I didn't want to say that "loud" expressions of love are necessarily attention-seeking. There are certainly a many people who would feel constrained if they weren't allowed to show their love openly. But I handle most personal things very secretive, anyway.

[pianosinger]

Mostly quiet. Though I am not opposed to public hand-holding, snuggling, and kissing (within limits), and telling people I love them-- whether in public or in private. I'm not going to paint it on a billboard, though. My husband and I both say "I love you" to each other often, and also to our kids. I'll yell it across a parking lot if I really feel the urge, though my husband prefers the quiet "I love you" hand signal that he picked up from his parents and taught to me (holding out thumb, index finger, and pinky, to make the letters "I L U").

Verbal affirmation is very important, though it should always be backed up with loving actions.

[FDG]

the quiet "I love you" hand signal that he picked up from his parents and taught to me (holding out thumb, index finger, and pinky, to make the letters "I L U"). .

Omg this kind of stuff would creep me out. Like I would feel the need to shout it as loud as I can to contrast the strong dampening and stifling of emotions this kind of stuff implies.

[Park]

As far as emotions go, I prefer implicitness.

Verbal affirmation is very important

Why? I shouldn't have to tell someone how I feel about them, especially not people I love.

[DirectorAbbie]

Why? I shouldn't have to tell someone how I feel about them, especially not people I love.

True, but not many people can figure it out unless you tell them at least once.

[Codie]

Depends. I like physical touching & kissing in public, if not I feel like the other person might be ashamed to be with me or not serious about me. I also like the relationship to be known among friends & fam. BUT I cringe at sharing feelings and private details out loud, certain things are private.

edit: oops im beta

[Cuddly McFluffles]

Hmm... Loud, public declarations would probably embarass me, and same with heavy PDA. I had a friend with whom I was somewhat intimate try to get cuddly in a bookstore once. I was like, "We're in a store; quit it." Looking back, he didn't seem to care about whether he could be spotted doing that sort of thing. I've always felt that I don't need grandiose-but-empty promises or sappy poems penned to me. I don't know how I would react to one; maybe I'd be flattered and embarassed. My expressions of love have typically been to the point. I did once tell someone I would always love him, a promise I later came to regret, but that's about as dramatic as I have gotten; and frankly, he was the closest friend I've ever had (speaking of kindred), and the feelings weren't romantic. But I digress.Edit: I did write him a poem once, but it had more to do with my spiritual and emotional journey + his effect on it than "I looove this person and would die without him".

[EyeSeeCold]

Hmm... Loud, public declarations would probably embarass me, and same with heavy PDA. I had a friend with whom I was somewhat intimate try to get cuddly in a bookstore once. I was like, "We're in a store; quit it." Looking back, he didn't seem to care about whether he could be spotted doing that sort of thing. I've always felt that I don't need grandiose-but-empty promises or sappy poems penned to me. I don't know how I would react to one; maybe I'd be flattered and embarassed. My expressions of love have typically been to the point. I did once tell someone I would always love him, a promise I later came to regret, but that's about as dramatic as I have gotten; and frankly, he was the closest friend I've ever had (speaking of kindred), and the feelings weren't romantic. But I digress.Edit: I did write him a poem once, but it had more to do with my spiritual and emotional journey + his effect on it than "I looove this person and would die without him".

Interesting. What you described was that you detached yourself from the situation(including your emotional involvement with the person) and looked at it from the Third Person perspective. Your mate was trying to be your mate and you rejected advances because of the environment. Does this mean you value public image over intimacy?

[Timmy]

True, but not many people can figure it out unless you tell them at least once.

Which is why I am occasionally drawn to express my feelings once, but never twice unless I've grounds to believe the target of my affection has forgotten where I stand.

In general, I am only willing to disclose love/infatuation under one of two circumstances.

1) I'm highly confident the feeling is reciprocated, in which case I don't want to let the opportunity slip away.

2) I'm highly confident the feeling is not and will not be not reciprocated, in which case I feel dishonest hiding how I feel and desire rejection that I may more effectively get over immobilizing feelings of infatuation. This is tricky cause a poorly executed revelation can destroy a friendship, but I've concluded that doing so is well worth this risk and whatever transient ego damage accompanies facing up to the rejection. For, a friendship in which one party yearns for more than a friendship is a dysfunctional friendship, and I have discovered that with rejection and time I am capable of converting infatuation into platonic love, which is truly a beautiful thing and is conducive to the best kind of friendship that can be had.

In all other circumstances I find myself in a perverse double bind. Telling someone you like them prematurely makes them wonder if you are desperate, causes them to worry you are idealizing them to an excessive degree, and forces them to make a decision about how they feel about you before they are ready, none of which works to to the persuer's advantage. On the other hand, hiding one's feelings invariably causes those feelings to intensify and develop in unhealthy ways, resulting in unnatural behavior that likewise doesn't help one to win over another person. For me, inaction is the natural consequence of uncertainty regarding to the best course of action, so mum is the word in such instances.

Although, I find that it is less and less a prerogative of mine to convince others to like me. I've decided that it's much more important for me to love others (and myself) than for others to love me back (although it certainly is easier to love those who will love you back).

[Reuben]

You're right though, it sounds like it wasn't a fair question and it was aimed at goading you into forcing a choice.

Yes, you penis.

What your mom has to do with this, I dont want to know.

Orly ^^

What if you get tired and it's the softest pillow available?

Wolves don't sleep on pillows. Pillows sleep on wolves.