Do you prefer quiet or loud love?

[Reuben]

vs loud, public, declarations of it.

Which do you prefer?

[Suz]

quiet for sure. And actions speak louder than words to me when it comes to this. Except PDAs. No PDAs please.

[Pa3s]

It's a private matter, so I'd handle this as quiet as possible.

[FDG]

Kinda loud, but only a little.

[Nico1e]

My understanding is that this is a Fe versus Fi question. Fe types supposedly want to see more visible, outward demonstrations of love. However, I don't have any good examples that I could look at to explain what exactly this means.

I know that I myself will physically touch a boyfriend when we are in public places, hugging, leaning on each other, etc. For me love is something that I feel if I look in someone's eyes and feel a connection with them, and it is quiet. I am almost physically incapable of calling people an affectionate nickname - I've tried before, and it's extremely unnatural for me. So that particular type of expression is probably Fe, because I just really, really can't do it. I don't know.

In fact when I am attracted to a guy, I choke up if I even have to say his name out loud at all. I'll just call him 'you' all the time. In other languages there is a formal 'You' and an informal 'you.' I'm not sure whether I would be using the informal you, or whether I would get stuck using the formal You for a really long time, and avoid using the informal you. I think I do start using whatever English equivalent of the informal you that we have - it's a tone of voice when you say it. I talk quietly in a different tone of voice directed at the person.

[ashlesha]

too loud feels like it's for show. too quiet feels like theres shame in it.

theres more romance in quiet though. like you're so sure it doesn't need to be confirmed. the nice thing about loud is feeling like someone is proud of having your regard.

choosing one though, I'd go with quiet.

[Korpsy Knievel]

The informal "you" in English is "dude".

[FDG]

My understanding is that this is a Fe versus Fi question. Fe types supposedly want to see more visible, outward demonstrations of love. However, I don't have any good examples that I could look at to explain what exactly this means.

That's too easy, too stereotypical. For example, Fe quadras comprise of many types that lack both feeling and intuition. Are they going to be love-showy?
Furthermore, an introverted function can sometimes accumulate pent-up energy (that is written in many descriptions of IJ types) and ultimately lead to bigger show-offs than extraverted functions, which release their energy more evenly.

[mu4]

like a nirvana song verse chorus verse

quiet loud quiet

or bjork

[Beautiful sky]

Quiet.

[Froody Blue Gem]

Definitely a more quiet form of love. I want him to let me know that he cares, that we are safe together, and that I can share openly. I may need time to open up but if I know I can trust a person, it's a start. Going to coffee shops, just sitting together inside listening to the rain, bingewatching shows, talking about our latest obsessions, sharing creative projects and encouraging each other, talking about our day, cuddling, doing everything together. But at the same time, I guess while I want something close, I want to be my own person outside of the relationship. I'll still have my own interests, my own life, and I can be independent, but it would be nice to have someone to share it with.

If it does get to the point of closeness, I may talk a lot about the other person, but a lot of special moments we have together will be more private. My dang 9 and merging. xD One part about being 9 which makes me want to gag, I think doesn't apply with a few exceptions until it does and, bleh. I don't want it to be big, showy, for the world to see for the sake of that. Part of me kind of wants them to think of us like a sort of dynamic duo, and when I see couples that are so perfect and seem like perfect halves to complete each other, I get kind of jealous and worry that no one like that exists for me, or maybe people like me weren't meant for that kind of relationship, because I suck with connection.

[perpetuus]

I get the impression that louder, more public displays are made less for the object of one's affection than they are for bystanders to see and hear. I think they often come from a place of insecurity.

[Adam Strange]

I get the impression that louder, more public displays are made less for the object of one's affection than they are for bystanders to see and hear. I think they often come from a place of insecurity.

Most of the women I've known make noises when they are making love. I tend not to, and some have commented on that.

I don't think the tendency to make noise comes exactly from insecurity. Rather, I think it comes from announcing a claim on a person to others nearby, since most sex in human history occurred within earshot of the other tribe members.

[FreelancePoliceman]

Most of the women I've known make noises when they are making love. I tend not to, and some have commented on that.

I thought women tended to be loud while men tend not to be. Would you say that's right?

[ooo]

^ i dont think it was a question of how loud you are in bed, Adam

[Adam Strange]

^ i dont think it was a question of how loud you are in bed, Adam

???

I think I was just different from what they had had before. I didn't read anything into it, but maybe I should have?

[ooo]

???

I think I was just different from what they had had before. I didn't read anything into it, but maybe I should have?

aha, it's good, making noises helps to get excited and it's a symptom you are very much. I tend to talk about God when I'm super excited : )

[Aeris]

I'd like to date someone while no one else knows, having a secret world no one gets to even peek at on a superficial level.
I don't like the showing off excitedness that seems to come with dating, nor public display of affection.
I don't like randos paying attention to me, blaming it on me for "attracting attention" while I am envious of ghosts' etherealness.

[para]

I tend to talk about God when I'm super excited : )

I do this too. Poetic spirit embues one in special moments i suppose.

[maniac]

quiet, loud freaks me out

[Lord Pixel]

There is something about, a silent secret love that no one else understands but you two, that feels very satisfying to me. All the personalized exclusive aspects of it, nicknames, inside jokes, shared memories, all remind me how much closer we are to each other than to other people. So yea I love quiet love.

not gonna lie though I initially thought this thread was about sex.

[RaptorsMavs]

I want loud, bubbly, sensational, river coasting tickle points to laugh and squiggle with frenzy and delight at the doorstep of ringing My bell for radical highway zoo testing speeder boosters with flair and an engine of vengeance with scenery decorated galore, no matter how shape shifting or maniacal the musical soul discusses in debates of interesting sky clouds in a waterfall shower.

[FreelancePoliceman]

I'm not sure what "loud love" and "quiet love" are. Is loud love just a verbal expression of love?

[aixelsyd]

Subdued affection is generally preferred. My tolerance threshold for excessive hugging, kissing, and the rest is pretty low, but once it has passed the threshold, my reaction is to grin and bear it. It's all about compromise.

[MissDucki]

I like to think I would prefer a quiet love, but I think I need a loud love. Not overly loud and boisterous, but loud enough to be seen and you can't take you attention away from it.

I tend to not like attention and kind of chill in the background. I prefer it. Just, I need a romantically loud guy who is not afraid to show it and naturally enjoys it. I am a closet romantic who is a bit nervous when showing love and I doubt it a lot. Other then quiet special moments, I think I really need a guy who will get up on stage, in the bright lights and crowds of people, and be not afraid to exclaim his love for me with the most loving expression and biggest smile.

[The Reality Denialist]

Maybe indirect subtext that can take expressive freedoms. [In rational gamma world it is the most perplexing thing there is.]