Everything you have described here is what makes it difficult for me to deal with people like yourself (no offense) and especially those who would fall under ESTj. I can smell people who are faking nicety easily, the like you describe about smiling but not giving a shit. To tell you the truth, there is much more hardship for me to deal with ESTjs than ESTps. Reason being that you don't really care about people but it is something that "is," I am not fooled by it. I understand there are people that way, and I do not expect more out of them. However, it is considerably more painful for me to discern sometimes whether a ESTj "type" truly does something motivated by selfishness or out of genuine good will, and to know if they really like you.