I can see the retaliatory perspective. Se polrs are similar in how they use force sometimes.Originally Posted by sbbds
I can see the retaliatory perspective. Se polrs are similar in how they use force sometimes.
What other reasons can you think of for Fi polrs leading to being seen as rude assholes? Is it mostly that, or something else? Because I do think @Lord Pixel is right in that there’s a real correlation, at least with how we’re being perceived by others, that can’t just be ignored.
I agree I think there is a difference between someone being an asshole and someone just being perceived as an asshole. A good example of someone being perceived as an insensitive asshole - an older co-worker recently died at my job , in a work meeting we talked about it for a bit and an ISTj just said " Everybody dies, it happens." and the room just got really awkwardly silent because this guy was so cold hearted to such a recent death. He wasn't trying to be an asshole, or actually being one but ppl wud just label him one because of how insensitive his statement was and he didn't seem to care about it, I guess to strong lack of F is what would make ppl call him an asshole, feeling alienated from him because how could he say that without feeling bad, it's the cognitive dissonance people are trying to make sense of when they call him an asshole, "Why are you not affected by this the way the rest of us are, or are at least faking to be affected by it".
And then you have actual assholes. I want to entertain myself even if it means fucking with you, and I don't really care if it bother's you or not it's all for my pleasure and enjoyment, actually I probably can't even see if it bother's you or not until you say something. I keep expecting Fi PoLR to think "if I don't want this done to me then I shouldn't do that to other people." and I feel like that's the big disconnect for me. Alot of the times the actions that have bugged me the most were one's that someone would do to someone else but not tolerate being done to them.
If you need examples of that just pick one from the list.
Last edited by Lord Pixel; 01-18-2020 at 01:39 AM.
Eh, i can just as easily see a FE polr say something like that, and it wouldn't be out of not actually caring. I hate to bring this up and butt in as it seems like it is a painful topic and took some effort for you to put in writing. cheers
I can see it being 1D Fe whether PoLR or just suggestive. Sorry for getting all woe is me, it's just this topic yea it's something I have experienced and have tried to understand for some time now.
Last edited by Lord Pixel; 01-20-2020 at 12:50 AM.
IEE and ILE are playful prankster ,SEE and SLE aggresive prankster. EIE LIE rude prankster.
If you need examples of that just pick one from the list.
[SPOILER
http://www.socionicsforum.com/vbulle...NTj-by-Beskova
Don't take note if sometimes he may seem somewhat rude. In interaction with people he is indeed clumsy, at times making offensive remarks, other times taking offense over something. Sometimes LIE male is prone to falling into depressed state. This means that he doesn't have a real, worthwhile job or project where he could realize himself to the maximum. What can you do, everyone has their faults, but he also has many other good characteristics.
Also you need to know that he is not the kind who solves problems "with fists", with brute force. This is a relatively soft, even a bit indecisive man, who avoids power collisions.
From life of LIE male: "One time we went on vacation with my husband. We rented a room on first floor. Suddenly in the middle of the night I hear that someone is climbing through our window. I've gotten frightened, started to wake him up. When I managed to wake him up and explain what is happening, he turned around and politely asked" Excuse me, sir, what did you need here?"
?What?
I think part of it involves being an Fe valuer.
A certain aspect of Fe involves making explicit emotional provocations, directly inducing an emotional state in someone else in order to receive clear cut emotional feedback, which is actionable information, e.g. > I can feel that person’s/group’s expressed sadness, and it feels bad, and so I want to make them feel better, so that we all feel better.
High D Fe valuers excel at processing/interpreting Fe emotional feedback and using that to manipulate the emotional landscape in whichever way they so choose. If they want to raise the mood and for everyone to feel good, they can do this with nuanced and sophisticated emotional cues (e.g., capable of manifesting the difference between cheerful [happy + hopeful] and contented [happy + satisfied]. They also have high D Fi and even if not their immediate go to, can readily access their own feeling state and close the psychological distance with those around them in order to check in on everyone else’s internal feeling states, to gauge how well folks are responding to the Fe, and modulate accordingly. A high D Fe valuer might say, “I’m going to generate my own happiness, [which will cause me to] smile a lot and give pointed compliments [perhaps gleamed via Fi] that will make others feel good/happy/positive/upbeat.”
Though Low D Fe valuers are also capable of picking up ambient emotional feedback, they don’t often possess the same nuance and sophistication when it comes to utilizing that information; their Fe provocations tend to be blunter, coarser and less refined. I liken it to being hungry (subconsciously for Fe/to feel something/to feel alive, 'fuller') and knowing that you want a good meal, but not knowing the right ingredients to go about preparing it, so you throw in random, potentially off putting flavors, and no matter the outcome, you expect others to eat it. Lol
And edible ≠ digestible, tasty, healthy, and/or ‘good.’ Low D Fe valuers like ILEs can come off rather trollish (read: rude, offensive) because, in keeping with cognitive expectations, they're trying to elicit an emotional response (like disseminating an emotional ping over the network in order to receive a corresponding pong with data packets, thus showing a connection), just not in the way that others might want or like due to a lower capacity to differentiate Fe based information (e.g., how to raise someone's mood without causing offense). And because Low D Fe valuers also have low D Fi, they find it difficult to accurately discern their own subjective feeling state, let alone another’s feeling state, which means they may not care or even know that their Fe isn’t being positively received, and ESPECIALLY when engaging Fi valuers who aren’t inclined to explicitly broadcast their feelings. Whereas other Fe valuers, like an ESE, for example, might be more inclined to visibly wear their offense, thereby letting an ILE know unambiguously that they crossed a line.
Last edited by Alonzo; 01-18-2020 at 04:11 AM.
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