I'm a 3

[aestrivex]

i disagree that you are a 3; i think you are 9w7

[Cat King Cole]

I'd agree, niff but then I'd have to discard notions of integration and disintegration.

That said, I like f9 and 3 a lot, since both elegantly answer a lot of my questions about being a Nine, especially in relation to identifying a lot with Competency triad. f9 by shifting me into being a neighbour to 5, 3 by being a Competency type.

Two just doesn't make sense to me, Gilly. I'd be interested to hear why you think that though.

[aestrivex]

I'd agree, niff but then I'd have to discard notions of integration and disintegration.

That said, I like f9 and 3 a lot, since both elegantly answer a lot of my questions about being a Nine, especially in relation to identifying a lot with Competency triad. f9 by shifting me into being a neighbour to 5, 3 by being a Competency type.

subtle, but logical chunking nonetheless

[Cat King Cole]

What on earth is logical chunking?

[Gilly]

I'd agree, niff but then I'd have to discard notions of integration and disintegration.

That said, I like f9 and 3 a lot, since both elegantly answer a lot of my questions about being a Nine, especially in relation to identifying a lot with Competency triad. f9 by shifting me into being a neighbour to 5, 3 by being a Competency type.

Two just doesn't make sense to me, Gilly. I'd be interested to hear why you think that though.

Well I don't see competency, you don't have the detachment, and you dont seem like the type to increase your performance under pressure. You seem "more than yourself" sometimes like Image triaders can, but it's not the detached competency approach. You also seem more compliant than assertive, although I would probably put you at Withdrawn more than anything; Assertive types have the strongest egos of E-types and tend to be more pushy or forceful in presentation of their ideas, which I just don't see in you. Object attachment relations makes sense, though...honestly I dont see any problems with 9, but 2 would be my second choice.

Maybe if you explain more exactly why you think you are a 3 I will be able to give you a reflection.

[Cat King Cole]

Well, I guess I should preface this with "compulsive gaming has been dicking around with my brain since I started in high school". It's a full-blown addiction for me with a lot of emotional and cognitive consequences, basically sucking away my motivation to do anything, like eating, sleeping, or hygiene, it plays havoc with my moods, makes me socially anxious to the point I don't even want to leave the house, etc, etc. A lot of the Gul that people have seen is "Gul under the influence of videogames". I don't think I'm that person, and I know I don't want to go back to being him, ever.

If this is too long-winded and rambly, I can also make a tl;dr of keywords I've been getting from articles I've been reading that I think apply to me or echo things I've said or thought of myself.

Well I don't see competency, you don't have the detachment, and you dont seem like the type to increase your performance under pressure. You seem "more than yourself" sometimes like Image triaders can, but it's not the detached competency approach. You also seem more compliant than assertive, although I would probably put you at Withdrawn more than anything; Assertive types have the strongest egos of E-types and tend to be more pushy or forceful in presentation of their ideas, which I just don't see in you. Object attachment relations makes sense, though...honestly I dont see any problems with 9, but 2 would be my second choice.

Idk, competency triad rings much more true for me than positive outlook. I don't have any difficulty with my needs or others', but with my feelings and with intimacy and looking like a fool (this last one si a big thing for me). My most important feelings are personal shame, vicarious shame, and envy. I see people being who I want to be, like they're superhumans, and I see people reflecting in myself everything I feel deeply ashamed of.

(I'm not clear-headed enough, rational enough, ethical enough, I'm a loser, I'm a drifter, I'm not down-to earth enough or insightful or wise or skilled or competent, etc, etc.) I'd say the things that are etched in my mind are all shame, and that's something intense enough in my memory that it makes me wince when my mind drifts over it. A lot of who I am is driving myself to be perfect and dispose of anything I think unworthy of an Excellent Person.

I've variously tried to rationalise that with having a 5-fix and being a 9w1, but those are all inadequate. That's not to say I don't look on the bright side of a bad situation, but when something goes really wrong in my life my attitude is not "find the silver lining" but "get over it and wring some fruit juice out of a bad situation".

I think a big part of my friendship with LII 5s is that we're both competency types and we both can scoff at all the mouthbreathers stealing oxygen from good men and women (like me ).

As for the lack of aggression, have you seen me debate something I know about or believe in? On these forums, I think my scuffles with Galen are somewhat of a good example. On another level if I'm talking to someone I view as inferior I tend to just tune out. I have quite a big ego, but I suppose I try to hide it to make a good impression on people.

Maybe if you explain more exactly why you think you are a 3 I will be able to give you a reflection.

Aside from the above,

Admiration is my ultimate carrot. Having people openly admire me just makes me feel on top of the world. The flip side is being driven by shame though, and not wanting to be anything like my internal checklist of "loser traits".

An illustration if you want, I was walking past the booth of the anime club here at uni one time, and one of the people said "I love that guy" as I walked past him. I could've played the Winning song over that. It means I've succeeded at being likeable, and some random who has no other bearing on my existence likes me. Same as when people openly show admiration for me on Google+ for my sense of humor, or knowledge, or ability to spin together a logical argument.

I'm also a bit of a blank screen personality. I just pick up on the vibes of what people want me to be and I give it to them. This has really made me struggle with a sense of self just because I don't know who "I" am in the middle of being a whole bunch of people for different groups and individuals.

There's also the planning and the business. e.g. I feel really restless writing up longish posts like these because they're wasting valuable time I could be doing something useful, like practicing piano or teaching myself music theory, even at midnight when my brain is fuzzy and I'm running on low output at best.

Why am I teaching myself the piano and music theory? Because I like the challenge and I like how involving it is. It's a complex project and one that requires planning and research and challenging your own comfort and emotions, and a lot of learning how to self-manage and blahdiblah. It's a way of developing a skill I personally want (so I can write music for myself for the emotional release) and also a way of being able to meet with people who can do something I can't, and a way of saying "Hah! I pulled off torturing myself and doing something more challenging than a regular person!"

I really feel lost without something to engage me on a lot of levels at once like that. Even depressed and listless under videogames I was a planner and a strategiser. I suppose an argument could be made for 7 in that my oxygen is "engagement and challenge" rather than "admiration and achievement".

idk, just the way I see interacting with other people really does make me think aggressive+competency.

[Azeroffs]

Fwiw, I could see 3w2 or 2w3.

[Cat King Cole]

I also broached my enneagram typing with Mum today, and when I mentioned that Threes are the "always performing" and "selling people their expected image" type, she was like "Oh yeah That's you. Even from a young age."

On 2 vs 3, intimacy is kind of a big deal for me. Of my two close friendships atm, one I have to actively surrender myself to the discomfort that comes from the fact this guy knows me from the inside out in his own Ne way and lavishes me with love and praise. It's emotionally close, not functionally close.

OTOH the other is much more in my comfort zone, because while it's close, it's more a relationship about other people. e.g. He's really insightful and sensible and is frustrated by mouthbreathers to the same extent that I am. For me it's like having my own little snarky superiority club (which is therapeutic: getting to vent helps me be less frustrated at people), as well as someone who can bring in a lot of perspective and sensible thoughts, and be a great audience so I can pull together my thoughts and whatnot (and also be an audience in the sense of me performing--this particular sense is really consistent for me with doms in general).

I think I also just described security in 6 there, which I previously had just called "9s are allowed to be cranky".

[bionic]

I also broached my enneagram typing with Mum today, and when I mentioned that Threes are the "always performing" and "selling people their expected image" type, she was like "Oh yeah That's you. Even from a young age."

Did you sell yourself to your mummy to?

[Cat King Cole]

Also, the reason I've shied away from 3 is because I'm not really invested in any material status symbols. I want myself, as an individual, to be a status symbol. To be more evolved, mature, and self-secure than Everyone Else. Equally, I'm not really materially productive. I'm more interested in projects that produce something of worth in myself, like being fit, or wise, or knowledgeable, or having some skill or other. If I can show off with it, all the better. I'd much rather be a blackbelt than own a gold rolex. (Actually, my relationship with martial arts is interesting in the sense that I like how there's this universal attitude that it's not about showing off or beating people in fights, but about honing a craft and a discipline, and the high premium placed on humility. I like that the only person I'm selling anything to is myself.)

That whole notion of mastery and artisanship is definitely something that resonates on a deep emotional level with me.

To illustrate this, one of my flatmates is an incredibly vibrant fellow and an entrepreneur. I'm not jealous of him because he makes god knows how much money through his businesses, I'm jealous of him because he's led such a rich and interesting life. He's a better person than me in the sense that he's seen wayyyyyy more of the world than I have, not because he makes more money and can afford suits and whatever. I'm not sure if this is the Australian take on 3-dom or if it points away from 3.

I can definitely see myself reflecting Australian cultural values such as simplicity, egalitarianism, and shying away from being a "tall poppy". Doesn't mean I don't self-promote though, I just don't go around tooting my own horn in a stuck-up way (or not obviously--as I've described I can be extremely arrogant once I'm confident and secure). There was this one Three I knew who kept describing herself in shining terms, and was always dressed up. She might as well have been from Mars it was such a foreign attitude to me.