Oh my god

[ScarlettLux]

Damn girl

I never *really* felt it before, but you and I are actually very similar after reading your posts in this thread. I could buy LSI for you. You could be my dual <3 But I'm still unsure... although the wanting an emotional reaction and going INSANE when you don't get one is me to a T as well. I give people the straight up 100% emotional truth and I require people do that for me as well. That's one thing that pisses me off about IEIs -- a lot of them "hide away" or "curl up" in themselves as I see it and there I am, going all out and having absolutely no filter for my thoughts so that we can have a very HONEST conversation... and I get a reply of like a sentence or a phrase. As if they have to hold themselves back because some things are meant to be internally processed and not shared... fuck that

[jessica129]

Damn girl

I never *really* felt it before, but you and I are actually very similar after reading your posts in this thread. I could buy LSI for you. You could be my dual <3 But I'm still unsure... although the wanting an emotional reaction and going INSANE when you don't get one is me to a T as well. I give people the straight up 100% emotional truth and I require people do that for me as well. That's one thing that pisses me off about IEIs -- a lot of them "hide away" or "curl up" in themselves as I see it and there I am, going all out and having absolutely no filter for my thoughts so that we can have a very HONEST conversation... and I get a reply of like a sentence or a phrase. As if they have to hold themselves back because some things are meant to be internally processed and not shared... fuck that

It's really hard for me to be affectionate...like super hard but that might just be upbringing or something, who knows. I actually really enjoy getting so angry because that's when I'm able to be the most honest and make sense of what I'm actually feeling because otherwise, I'm clueless as to what I'm feeling. I provoke it many times so I can do that. I dunno, it's some kind of charge in an otherwise unemotional existance. I don't enjoy talking about feelings when it's in a calm atmosphere...that's creepy. The only times I've ever told someone I loved them and meant it ... really meant it, was when I was furious. My god, that's terrible.

[Jarno]

annoying attention seeking thread.

you're almost overtaking gilly's 50 selftype threads.

[Suz]

Nah, i'm pretty sure it's all out flipping out...verbally flipping out...I don't punch things or whatever. I've gotten called crazy before on multiple occassions but if that's how I feel I need to act in that situation, oh well..too bad.. guess I'm crazy. What's crazy to me is when I'm getting crazy and the other person just sits there and doesn't give me anything back. Basically infuriates me to the point it keeps going. And what SLI would yell about personal things in a room full of people as they're talking on the phone? Stupid things like that that keep me questioning it. I did that yesterday and came and posted this thread afterwards because i thought 'wow, how Un-SLI of you, must make a thread about it'.

Isn't that a manifestation of Fe-POLR? I would think an ESI would be more attuned to keeping things "appropriate". Fe-POLR doesn't mean robotic or unemotional. On the contrary, I find SLIs to be very emotional people (after all they have an Fi-HA). And the Fe-POLR makes the emotions come out inappropriately, e.g. being unemotional when the situation may call for some emotion, but also being TOO emotional when they dont need to be, which obviously you seem to feel embarrassed about in yourself and criticize that quality in yourself.

Sounds like what you care about a lot are static bonds between people, which sounds Fi-valuing for sure, but sounds like you often get frustrated over relationship issues not working, so i dont see how it can't be Fi-HA (though granted, I also often have frustrations that way).

SLIs are NOT robots.

I personally agree with ppl who say you're Te-SLI.

[jessica129]

annoying attention seeking thread.

you're almost overtaking gilly's 50 selftype threads.

BECUZ I'M SEEKING FE DUH

It really wasn't supposed to turn into another typing thread, I swear. And no, I won't have sex with you.

[jessica129]

Isn't that a manifestation of Fe-POLR? I would think an ESI would be more attuned to keeping things "appropriate". Fe-POLR doesn't mean robotic or unemotional. On the contrary, I find SLIs to be very emotional people (after all they have an Fi-HA). And the Fe-POLR makes the emotions come out inappropriately, e.g. being unemotional when the situation may call for some emotion, but also being TOO emotional when they dont need to be, which obviously you seem to feel embarrassed about in yourself and criticize that quality in yourself.

Sounds like what you care about a lot are static bonds between people, which sounds Fi-valuing for sure, but sounds like you often get frustrated over relationship issues not working, so i dont see how it can't be Fi-HA (though granted, I also often have frustrations that way).

SLIs are NOT robots.

I personally agree with ppl who say you're Te-SLI.

I'm not ruling SLI out, honestly. If what you say is accurate, then okay i'm still SLI. I'm just trying to get help with Fe and Fi because i'm so confused about it. One person says one thing and someone says the complete opposite so thats why I still can't find my type.

[Suz]

It's really hard for me to be affectionate...like super hard but that might just be upbringing or something, who knows. I actually really enjoy getting so angry because that's when I'm able to be the most honest and make sense of what I'm actually feeling because otherwise, I'm clueless as to what I'm feeling. I provoke it many times so I can do that. I dunno, it's some kind of charge in an otherwise unemotional existance. I don't enjoy talking about feelings when it's in a calm atmosphere...that's creepy. The only times I've ever told someone I loved them and meant it ... really meant it, was when I was furious. My god, that's terrible.

ZACTLY. Fe-POLR in my book (well, devalued Fe for sure). And the SLI I knew tends to excel when he's angry. It seems like anger gives you SLIs energy or something.

"That's terrible"-- u are embarrassed about it. POLR.

[Gilly]

ZACTLY. Fe-POLR in my book (well, devalued Fe for sure). And the SLI I knew tends to excel when he's angry. It seems like anger gives you SLIs energy or something.

"That's terrible"-- u are embarrassed about it. POLR.

Jesus please stop ever giving type advice.

[Suz]

I'm not ruling SLI out, honestly. If what you say is accurate, then okay i'm still SLI. I'm just trying to get help with Fe and Fi because i'm so confused about it. One person says one thing and someone says the complete opposite so thats why I still can't find my type.

yeah i hear you. Happened to me a lot initially as well. What i did was determine who is a good source of info to trust here in the community. I still use my own judgement though. (and I'm still learning...). It is a brain teaser though to know whose word to take.

One thing I noticed was that (and this might be type related) some people just "need" to be the most right, even if what they're saying is totally off, so they'll keep insisting they're right against all evidence to the contrary. I find this to be the case mostly with beta NFs (with some exceptions of course)--perhaps a Ti-superid/Te-superego manifestation? I learned to stop listening to some people in particular pretty early on (who shall remain nameless ). I also tend to not trust type opinions from people who haven't figured out their own type (this isn't suggesting anything about you, just giving you a heads up about others), just because until they do, their typings will tend to be off (my typings were way off when i was mistyped initially but the relative interrelation types were pretty close if you know what i mean).

As for Fe vs Fi, I really liked Expat's allegory. I dont have the link for it but it's out there somewhere. Really clarified the distinction for me.

[Suz]

Jesus please stop ever giving type advice.

here we go...

[jessica129]

I honestly think if I am SLI, something needs to change with the descriptions that are out there....or change socionics alltogether. All because of me!

[discojoe]

Jessica's fucked up.

[jessica129]

Jessica's fucked up.

Dunno, Joy made you seem more fucked up than me. I think you have me beat.

[discojoe]

Dunno, Joy made you seem more fucked up than me. I think you have me beat.

What does that have to do with anything?

lolwomen

[jessica129]

Just dishing it back to you

[discojoe]

Just dishing it back to you

Well I know I'm crazy, but you're being defensive about it. So you're "dishing back" is merely a paper tiger.

[jessica129]

I know I'm crazy too so...yeah

[Lotus]

jessica is probably one of the coolest forum members, let's just give her her own type

[rat1]

Fuck being crazy. Society is crazy, we're normal. Fuck the USA

[jessica129]

I like that idea. SLILSIESISLE Ne Polr/Fe Polr with sometimes Fi Polr Te-Subtype 6w5 or 6w7 depending on the day. Actually that really sums me up quite well. New signature.

[rat1]

Im gona copy you

[discojoe]

I know I'm crazy too so...yeah

Fuck you.

[jessica129]

You will not get a rise out of me, Fe seeker.

[Jarno]

And no, I won't have sex with you.

no problem I get enough from Borderline nowadays.

[Lotus]

excuse me?

[discojoe]

You will not get a rise out of me, Fe seeker.

YOUR REMARK WOULD BE FUNNY IF OUR GENDERS WERE REVERSED

[Slacker]

YOUR REMARK WOULD BE FUNNY IF OUR GENDERS WERE REVERSED

ROFL

This thread gets high marks for entertainment value.

[Jarno]

excuse me?

I wasn't aware that we had to keep it a secret. well uhm sorry then.

[Lotus]

keep dreamin

[Jarno]

keep dreamin

oke fine I'll find me another bitch. you will never have me again.

[jessica129]

oke fine I'll find me another bitch. you will never have me again.

Sometimes you take it too far. Like right there, for example.

[blackburry]

It's really hard for me to be affectionate...like super hard but that might just be upbringing or something, who knows. I actually really enjoy getting so angry because that's when I'm able to be the most honest and make sense of what I'm actually feeling because otherwise, I'm clueless as to what I'm feeling. I provoke it many times so I can do that. I dunno, it's some kind of charge in an otherwise unemotional existance. I don't enjoy talking about feelings when it's in a calm atmosphere...that's creepy. The only times I've ever told someone I loved them and meant it ... really meant it, was when I was furious. My god, that's terrible.

gawd ppl. this seems way more seeking than seeking. my brother has once said the same thing as above to me, but he made it seem it was more like he didnt care what he was feeling rather than not knowing, that could be because your a chick and need to feel more intune with your feelings which makes it seems like such a struggle... hes SLI btw. but again, just an observation.

[Suz]

I honestly think if I am SLI, something needs to change with the descriptions that are out there....or change socionics alltogether. All because of me!

I've found that one description can be understood in many different ways, with different people coming up with totally different mental pictures of what is being described. For example, back when i was thinking I was IEI (transitioning from an MBTI typing of INFJ and under the misguided impression that types can be "converted from MBTI to socionics), I would read the IEI description and i could sort of see myself in it. However, the mental picture i was constructing was not at ALL what IEI really is. Then i would come here and start conversing with the IEIs here and I just could not relate to their demeanors, thoughts, motivations, etc. The SLEs also did not feel that I was consistent with their dual.

Sort of the same thing happened with someone I knew was my dual, but i mistyped as SLE at the time. I would read the SLE description, I could make myself see that person in that description, but then talking with the SLEs here, it became obvious he was NOTHING like them. Even down to something as trivial perhaps as a common voiced interest in theater/drama among the SLEs here. I just could not imagine dual-guy whom i knew in person being remotely interested in theater or drama by any stretch.

Also I've found that descriptions are heavily permeated by the perspective of the author (as would appropriately be the case socionically-speaking). I'd read IEE descriptions in the past, and never really related much to them until I read Rick's extended IEE description which was very VERY representative. Then I went back to another IEE description (I think Stratievskaya's?), reread it, and realized "hmm, i guess this could be how some people might see me." That's why using descriptions to determine your type can be tricky. I would say, descriptions written by your identical would be most recognizable. Next best might be written by your dual, but i'm not sure. So, if there's an SLI socionist out there, check out their description for yourself. Rick's might be a good choice too since he's SLI's dual, but then again, it's how an IEE sees an SLI which might be different from how an SLI sees themselves.


p.s. in reference to a small part of your new sig--there is no good test for socionics. I repeat: there IS NO good test for socionics. Period. Information processing is much much too complex to be testable.

[discojoe]

keep dreamin

Allie's fucking harsh. I sent her a PM one time, basically in response to something she had said in the forum, and I was pretend flirting in a VERY mild, almost non-existent way.

Her response was "not my type"

lmao, fucking owned.

[Slacker]

I don't honestly know if my husband has ever actually told me he loves me. I don't think being uncomfortable or whatever saying those words means you aren't SLI.

Something he does is to mildly provoke me from time to time. Little things, like he'll say something he knows I'll bark at him over, I can't think of a specific example. And then I'll yell at him and he is amused or happy or something -it's like feeling that pull when I'm mad at him makes him happy. And then it's over. I don't think of it as fighting because it lasts all of 5 seconds. "Why would you say that?!?!" and he'll back right down and seem happy. It's like he just wants to feel that relationship pull between us. As soon as he feels it, it's over.

So I guess what I'm getting at is that if getting upset is something you're doing to try to draw out emotions and get someone to create an emotional environemnt or something, then that seems Fe seeking, but if it's to test the relational bond between you and someone, then that seems Fi seeking. You probably know what you're looking for better than anyone here does.

[jessica129]

I don't honestly know if my husband has ever actually told me he loves me. I don't think being uncomfortable or whatever saying those words means you aren't SLI.

Something he does is to mildly provoke me from time to time. Little things, like he'll say something he knows I'll bark at him over, I can't think of a specific example. And then I'll yell at him and he is amused or happy or something -it's like feeling that pull when I'm mad at him makes him happy. And then it's over. I don't think of it as fighting because it lasts all of 5 seconds. "Why would you say that?!?!" and he'll back right down and seem happy. It's like he just wants to feel that relationship pull between us. As soon as he feels it, it's over.

So I guess what I'm getting at is that if getting upset is something you're doing to try to draw out emotions and get someone to create an emotional environemnt or something, then that seems Fe seeking, but if it's to test the relational bond between you and someone, then that seems Fi seeking. You probably know what you're looking for better than anyone here does.

I swear, IEE's are saints. I don't know how they deal with SLI's half of the time. I do a lot of testing...that's usually the only way I can know for sure how someone feels unless they come right out and say it all the time and who really does that?

I'M SLI AGAIN!

[jessica129]

I've found that one description can be understood in many different ways, with different people coming up with totally different mental pictures of what is being described. For example, back when i was thinking I was IEI (transitioning from an MBTI typing of INFJ and under the misguided impression that types can be "converted from MBTI to socionics), I would read the IEI description and i could sort of see myself in it. However, the mental picture i was constructing was not at ALL what IEI really is. Then i would come here and start conversing with the IEIs here and I just could not relate to their demeanors, thoughts, motivations, etc. The SLEs also did not feel that I was consistent with their dual.

Sort of the same thing happened with someone I knew was my dual, but i mistyped as SLE at the time. I would read the SLE description, I could make myself see that person in that description, but then talking with the SLEs here, it became obvious he was NOTHING like them. Even down to something as trivial perhaps as a common voiced interest in theater/drama among the SLEs here. I just could not imagine dual-guy whom i knew in person being remotely interested in theater or drama by any stretch.

I identify with this a lot and have been guilty of doing this too

[discojoe]

FWIW, it pisses me off too when a person cuts me off emotionally and is being a cold bitch. I don't need a lot of attention or reassurance… but I can usually tell straightaway when someone's keeping me at a distance and that something 'funny' is up, and I'm going to want to know what it is. I'll try to be patient and understanding initially, but if they get standoffish and evasive, then odds are there'll be a big fight over it they finally surrender an emotional response. Or I'll get real cold and do the same thing back at them until they crack.

I sympathize, but conditionally. I agree that this sort of personified passive-aggressiveness is intolerable, but a lot of the time the girl is just fucking with you, consciously hoping you'll play along and apologize or whatever. She thinks she wants to feel that you adore her and will do anything to resolve predicament. What she actually wants is for you to assertively proclaim yourself innocent and demand that she cease and desist. Women don't actually want to control you. That will make them resent you. They play their little mind games to test us, see if we can see through them and assert ourselves.

A tip: And the absolute best way to break their faux ice queen spell is to make them laugh. It immediately illegitimizes their grievance.

When it comes to actual adulation, girls want it to be spontaneous and unprovoked (except in certain situations where it's expected). They want you to be dominant, but they want glowing affection at the same time. The only way to achieve this is to incorporate that adulation into your dominant, masculine role. That way they can rely on you for both physical and emotional support. "The big strong man cares enough about me to get me flowers and rub my neck, and he does it without asking, because he's the one in charge."

Before LSE and SEE women jump on the "burn discojoe alive" ship, I need to clarify something.

What I just described was slanted in a Beta direction for the sake of coherency. I still think these rules apply to other quadras but will manifest differently. An SEE will want her adorable and ingenious ILI to be "Aww, so sweet." See, the knowledge that her typically inert partner has the bravery to take on the macho man role (macho from the ILI's perspective), impresses her, because the courage it took to do that indicates to her that he will protect her and care for her, even though she doesn't feel like she needs that physical kind of defending. She still wants to know that the qualities are there and that she can depend on him emotionally. He's an autonomous carer, so she can fall back on his strength. And she will. She'll come home exhausted, see her ILI programming a robot or some bullshit, and say "Come here, my sexy man." He will instantly comply, and she will snuggle him and feel safe.

So like I said, it varies between quadras, but I think it holds true with all men and all women.

[Jarno]

Sometimes you take it too far. Like right there, for example.

yeah you are right, but borderline made me do it, she has no humor.

[Lotus]

Allie's fucking harsh. I sent her a PM one time, basically in response to something she had said in the forum, and I was pretend flirting in a VERY mild, almost non-existent way.

Her response was "not my type"

lmao, fucking owned.

yeah you are right, but borderline made me do it, she has no humor.

i have to humor guys flirting with me at work, why do it during my time off... and on the internet? lol