Yes or no?
Yes or no?
not the first thing that comes to mind. one ESTj blogger i'm currently reading up on explicitly stresses the importance of modesty and humility in what he does:
http://investorandtrader.blogspot.co...emotional.html
Right but, ESTJs work their ass off. They absolutely want something in return.
And, they don't exactly look too kindly on people who they feel aren't pulling their share of the work. Not least because they feel a responsibility to make sure the job get's done.
My point is, all this dedication and self-sacrifice requires a compensation.
No, that's just how EJs function. My ESFj aunt and dad are constantly doing things just because the way their energy works requires them to keep moving.
I wouldn't say that pride is what makes them do things. The LSE I work with likes to do things because he genuinely believes that he is going to do a better job than other people. I used to get annoyed at this attitude, but then I realized that he actually reduces my workload by being that way, so I don't bother correcting his impression of me . Other LSEs just like to get things done. I've met a lot of LSEs, and pride doesn't seem to be their motive. I do find that they tend to be proud people though.
My LSE boyfriend says it's not the prime motive, but it is important. Wait, he's texting me more information....tbc.
He says "revenge"; I don't know why...it's part joking around. I'm trying to get the facts about why. Revenge at everyone who's ever underestimated him and his tallent. I suspect this doesn't hold true for every LSE, but remember, they are extraverts and if they don't have enough external support, things might sink in emotionally that may be tied to their self-esteem (needing relationships and getting self affirmation from external world).
He loves attention although is anti-social and doesn't always want to interact with others; wants to be recognized and admired (to leave something behind to be remembered for would be nice).
He says HA, being perfect and being loved make sense.
Last edited by Beautiful sky; 05-23-2011 at 05:02 AM.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
I don't relate to revenge. I don't care enough about what other people think for that.
that's true for me, although i wish it weren't so at times. Like right now, actually.I suspect this doesn't hold true for every LSE, but remember, they are extraverts and if they don't have enough external support, things might sink in emotionally that may be tied to their self-esteem (needing relationships and getting self affirmation from external world).
I sort of relate to that.He loves attention although is anti-social and doesn't always want to interact with others; wants to be recognized and admired (to leave something behind to be remembered for would be nice).
He says HA, being perfect and being loved make sense.
For me it's more, I want to be able to do things that bring about the 'right' or 'best' results, and I want other people to be happy about that, heh. If I'm working for a specific result, and achieve it, that's 'good' and I'd like other people to also feel that way.
To add my own stuff...
Pride is important/a factor, but for me it's very personalized. I am my own master of what results are feasible and what is possible - (yes, even if I don't do well in regard to time/intuition). If those results aren't met, that's not as good as it could be. If they are met, then that's good, and I feel like I have every reason to be happy.
When other people around me aren't meeting their results, I can get ancy. I can become overwhelmed by a desire to do something or influence them, negatively or positively, to get the results done. Often at the expense of relationship quality or intimacy, unfortunately. I get tired of poor results over time, or an inability for things to 'function well'.
I like control; the ability to manipulate things to a desired outcome. If I don't have control, I feel less secure in having a specific outcome.
He's a lot more routine than you are UPD and he's trying to be spontaneous, which tells you a lot about his strict regimented organization and trying to manage time to make things secure and predictable. I just don't see you doing that. I don't see you being anything like him, which is tense, scheduled, planned and not wasting time. You're very relaxed and very Si focused.
Last edited by Beautiful sky; 05-24-2011 at 03:44 AM.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Sounds like he's Te subtype, sure. Maybe also a 1w2 or 3w2, eh?
but I'm not sure exactly what you know of me being regimented or organized or not... I'm rather much that way. And also fairly predictable, too. But I'm sure that's because I'm "SLI" to you.
He never misunderstands me, never twists my emotions (a result of Fe PoLR, which has often resulted from you); he's not mistrustful of people (as are most introverts) and does not require someone to gain his trust (as you did when I first signed on this site); you don't share yourself, your opinion or your feelings with people you don't know; my boyfriend holds a positive attitude towards people and shares his feelings and opinions when solicited, openly, generously (as does DJ- who claims he's not an Extravert, although holds a positive attitude towards all people, which is not likely to be the same for introverts, who are much more selective).
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
your boyfriend sounds more like an ESE heh, but I assume that's more because of your idealizations.
One MAJOR THING:
HE'S VERY PROTECTIVE OF ME. A major aspect of an LSE type, which is not your trait.
"They may, however, show brief flashes of protectiveness and confrontation if they have been attacked in any way.
LSEs have a clear awareness of how they look to those around them."
Someone attacked our relationship and you should have seen him react. He told this person off, severed ties, and didn't care how long he know him or how "important" this person was.
Last edited by Beautiful sky; 05-24-2011 at 04:20 AM.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
I'm not 'protective' of you on the forum because I disagree with your take on socionics.
You don't seem to get it. I'm an Ne type and weakest Se, which means I can't defend my interests and I love my ideas (for which I need support for). Which means I need a strong willed person, a protective person. That isn't you. You haven't taken that role. I don't know how I look to others around me (as Dj has pointed out several times before). This is another reason why I need to be protected as I concentrate not on how I come off but what the content of my ideas are.
Duals do it naturally. Especially LSE protect those who are seen as weak and incapable of defending themselves. I believe you've generously stood by and let me be trembled in all sorts of ways.
Sorry, you're not my dual.
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Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
UDP said it already, but I would think of an LSE's pride as a sense of satisfaction over doing something well. That's not a bad thing, within reason.
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
I have no idea why, but, my mind is connecting that (above) to this:
And to this:8w9's are more likely to let anger build up within themselves, which may manifest in constant bitterness and harshness. Like 8w7's, they view conflict as a way of life, but do not enjoy it as much, since when they are in rebellion against the outside world, they are also in rebellion against a part of themselves that would rather do without the hassle and zone out. They are slow to conflict - they would often rather stand "en garde" and wait for their adversary to "cross the line" - but when they involve themselves in conflict, their hostility has a relentless, sado-masochistic quality to it. They willfully numb their tender feelings, and show a tough face to the world. 8w9's are conspicuously sensitive to the issue of personal boundaries - both their own and everyone else's. "Stay out of my business, and I'll stay out of yours," they will often say in a measured tone that conveys great respect for the other while making it subtly clear that they will not be crossed. When they lighten up, they can be intensely devoted to the protection of others, especially defenseless people whom they have affection for. However, trust does not come easily to them. "Every person's survival is his own business."
~the first two minutes when Seprihoth loses it.
I'm not saying Sephiroth the character is LSE or 8w9. It just triggered a connection.
it actually makes sense if you read the LSE parts as LSI, Ij temperament instead of Ej (referring to Maritsa's posts)
EII INFj
Forum status: retired
Advice on how to properly show appreciation... to me at least. ....
Recognize what I have pride in
Absolutely refrain from flattery about the matter or any sort of over-graciousness or lofty praise, unless you know me very well, and even then, use this rarely.
Instead of verbally praising me, demonstrate in your actions and perceptions that you understand why I take pride in something (like, being a good _____), and that you also see the value in it.
Comment not "that I'm a good _____", but that I do XXXX well. If you can specifically demonstrate why I did something well (which involves being aware of what happened, what was possible, and the before and after of things), then I'll respect that awareness on your part very much.
If you attempt to flatter me without demonstrating to me in very real terms that you understand what it is that took place and why it matters to me, then it's actually worse than you saying nothing at all.
But if you do understand, and you do see, and then you feel like actually expressing it, then I'll actually feel good.
Even if I come off like "well, you should have known that before" or " ...('duh'.....)", it will mean a lot. I'll likely respond with "well, it's just a matter of course" or "sure". And say very matter of factly that I appreciate that you were able to acknowledge it. But it does mean a lot, when it's real.
It may be pretty hard to genuinely accept a compliment or praise about something very serious or that I take great pride in, and I feel very personally awkward about how to 'show appreciation' for such praise, because I usually don't like it and think it's fake or an attempt at trying to butter me up. But, if I can see that you appreciate "the work" in and of itself, then I'll feel more open to accepting whatever you present me with, praise or criticism or dismay.
Really good wholesome food and baked good also helps, too
I think that the primary desire of LSEs is to appear to be respectable.
They may abuse their kids, they may have disdain for their mates, they may not have a clue or care how you feel, but by God, they will have a nice looking house for the neighbors to see and will go to church and will demand that you act as if you respect them, whether they have done anything to earn that respect or not.
I once told my LSE mother that I hated her. I was about sixteen at the time. She punched me in the face with her fist and when her hand started bleeding, she said it was my fault that happened.
Then she said to me that I could think that I hated her, but I’d better never say it in public (where other people could hear).
My LII little sister witnessed this and later told me that it actually WAS my fault that I got punched in the face, because I let my face get in the way of her fist. Then we both laughed about it.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 04-20-2021 at 12:03 AM.
I don't think it's THE primary desire or motive. To be consistently/reliably loved and to live rightly would be more my guess. Of course, they tend to be very (overly?) confident that their way is the right way, which is where pride can insert itself. When they don't feel loved, I think one compensation is to "at least be respected" by the general public. Fear and love can get convoluted, especially when they don't have someone clearly demonstrating love, what it is, how to do it, and even how it feels.
They don't have a strength in the exchange-of-love department, but they usually feel very confident in the hands-on, do-it-correctly part of living rightly. With insecurity, wounding, lack of trust/connection, you can end up with a bossy, hypocritical jerk. Lots of people have lots of hurts, so it doesn't surprise me that LSEs have gotten that reputation. (Sore thumbs do stand out.)
However, while a healthy happy LSE might show instances of pride, in the end they'll care more about someone's well-being. If they know how to express that (with help from Fi people), they can be very supportive, loyal friends. They can actually be surprisingly sweet and squishy.
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Kind of related, lately I've been feeling there's a connection between LSEs' "victim alter ego" and their belligerence (or pride) when arguing. I'm not sure what it is. I'm just feeling it intuitively.
Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.
Pride is an emotion of high evaluation of someone or somewhat traits. Where is about own traits, it's much about selfassurance. Feeling it is not specific to some of types.
To types may relate what accents are made in its understanding. For example, where it's linked with "being decent" - Fe, where "you like that" - Fi.
Also as it's about emotions, so F types may express this more clear.
Pride can be a motive for all types so it's not type related. The main type-related motive for all Ejs seems to be control of their immediate world, which can be small or grand depending on a lot of factors. LSEs strive for control by attempting to bring logical sense and order to their world, and they tend seek the logic through others. However, any new information that they will likely accept as true is that which maintains their world under their control.
a.k.a. I/O
@flowers and sugar, I wouldn't attribute all of your mother's behaviour to being LSE; there might be some significant baggage from her past life experiences that she's also carrying. I won't minimize a LSE's need for control but the shifting of blame and a victim's mentality point to issues other than type. My mother was LSE and she didn't belittle or blame anyone - or use them; she'd usually avoid unhelpful people but she kept opinions to herself.
a.k.a. I/O
Yeah, she has baggage.
It's an accepted fact in psychology, from what I read, that the people who act the shittiest are just hurt peeps giving back the hurt because they don't know how else to be. I tend to forget this isn't common knowledge. Sorry if this sounds passive-aggressive or arrogant, I don't mean it this way, it's just plain facts to me. That and everyone has baggage of some sort that distorts how they appear/act.
@asd EJ tend to act controling even when they don't mean too. It's not actions, it's an attitude. It's probably much more annoying to an IP than an IJ.
I'm not exactly willing to invest more time in this topic, makes me angry.