Intertype relations: Love or Friendship first?

[pianosinger]

Love meaning Eros, in this case.

I'm thinking there must be some marriage/dating relationships where couples are more focused on Love over Friendship; and others where they are more focused on Friendship over Love; and maybe a couple (particularly Duals) where Love and Friendship more equally go hand-in-hand.

Obviously, a long-term relationship will require a good balance of both Love and Friendship to survive. Love without Friendship will result in little more than partners "using" each other for sex; and Friendship without Love, well, they'd really just be better off as friends then.

If a particular intertype relation naturally tends more towards Love and less towards Friendship, lovers who want to stay together will have to learn to make adjustments in order to become better friends. If a particular relation naturally tends more towards Friendship than Love, but the partners still want to make a life together, they will have to learn to kindle their romance even though it may not come as easily (personally, I find my own relationship with my ILI husband falling into the latter category).

Totally basing most of these on loose intuition, nothing really rational to back most of it up, so do feel free to disagree and discuss...

Pairs more likely to be Lovers first: Semi-Dual, Benefit, Super-Ego, Conflict, Contrary

Pairs more likely to be Friends first: Identity, Mirage, Mirror, Business, Supervision, Kindred, Quasi-Identity

Pairs most likely to have a good natural balance: Dual, Activity

[Airman]

You are so beautiful, pianosinger. People will label me 'nazi' for that, but your white beauty makes me think there is still something good left in this world.

About your thread, well I think you're right. I met a dual and I can't forget her. She called me 2 weeks ago after we had a brake-up but I didn't answer the phone. I made a song about her. Anyway. Keep existing, your beauty is needed in this deteriorated world.

[Lobo]

That's tough to answer... So many factors involved. Physical attraction would also affect those who you want to keep as friends vs. lovers.

You are so beautiful, pianosinger. People will label me 'nazi' for that, but your white beauty makes me think there is still something good left in this world.

About your thread, well I think you're right. I met a dual and I can't forget her. She called me 2 weeks ago after we had a brake-up but I didn't answer the phone. I made a song about her. Anyway. Keep existing, your beauty is needed in this deteriorated world.

Why? I guess it depends on what you consider "good."

[Absurd]

I met a dual and I can't forget her. She called me 2 weeks ago after we had a brake-up but I didn't answer the phone. I made a song about her.

You're so emo it makes me cry you little ******.

[pianosinger]

lmao. Uh... you're serious?

I know, strange comment, huh? Besides, I can't help being "white," it's really not a compliment.

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

hey don't get sour,Starfall.i'm sure he likes Tila Tequila,too.

but seriously,you really have this "woo looky looky i'm a princess ,you're a creep,dealz? KEEP AWAY FROM MY PINK CLOUD,YOU NASTY BEAST" vibe.

i'm almost sure you'd act the same way as that girl in "i am number 4" did when he was screaming in pain while his third sign was being created.

just accept that there are bazillions of different wavelengths and the fact that yours is embraced as the most politically correct one does not mean anything really.

Fi rant?

[Airman]

Haha, yeah. It came off as kind of weird & creepy. lol

Probably so only because you don't live in a country where whites are almost extinct and the majority of the population is something in between white and black, 'brown'. So yes, it's strange but not if you consider my context. Americans are funny, it's like they know nothing about other countries. They probably think people are white or even anglo-saxon all over the world with the exception of arabs because that's the only people they know other than themselves, lol.

[EyeSeeCold]

Benefit and Supervision I'm not so sure about. There's a tricky power divide.

Foreigners are funny, it's like they know nothing about America. They probably think we think people are white or even anglo-saxon all over the world with the exception of arabs because that's the only people we know other than ourselves, lol.

[FDG]

Probably so only because you don't live in a country where whites are almost extinct and the majority of the population is something in between white and black, 'brown'. So yes, it's strange but not if you consider my context. Americans are funny, it's like they know nothing about other countries. They probably think people are white or even anglo-saxon all over the world with the exception of arabs because that's the only people they know other than themselves, lol.

I'm Italian, and a negro of inferior race, thus you are too. LOL OWNED.

[Pa3s]

Yeah, you should forget about that whole 'superior race' thing, Air. It's just not good to keep the different kinds of humans strictly seperated, I'd compare it with incest in a larger scale. Combining similar genes often leads to predispositions to have the same weaknesses. (Besides, thinking one race is superior is pretty stupid anyway.) See dogs for example: many of todays breeds (created by humans) wouldn't even survive in the free nature. Some even all develop very similar diseases like dachshunds for example (intervertebral disk disease) at a given age. Crossbreeds are often physically tougher and more resistand against illnesses. And finally, trees who grow in a monoculture might all die because of a single reason such as bark beetles, storms or landslides. Mixed woodland on the other side is much more stable and resistand against those things.

[Absurd]

It's creepy because it made him come off like ******.

He's beta so it's not a surprise.

[Airman]

It's creepy because it made him come off like ******.



You have to understand that in America, where race is and has always been an issue, a comment like that comes off as very ignorant & crude. I suppose I can be more understanding your mindset as far as culture differences go, seeing as you're a native to a South American country (Brazil, right?), even though I don't personally agree with your stance. My bf is originally from Colombia and he holds similar views as you (though, he wouldn't say crap like "white beauty" or whatever)... he says a lot of latinos actually think that way. Kind of interesting, as most of them aren't fully white themselves.

It depends a lot on what you call 'white'. If you're used to the USA's concept of a 'white' person, then yes, but this concept would be very similar to ******'s concept of 'the Aryan race', so in the end, the USA and its citizens have a nazi concept of what is a white person. This is something Americans hardly think about because they'd have to admit they're not very far from the old nazis when it comes to racial classification. In fact, ****** considered the whole bunch from Europe to be 'white', but Germanic peoples which include the Anglo-Saxons the nazis held to be a superior and ideal white person.

So your view of 'whites' and 'latinos' shows a very interesting, common and ignorant misunderstanding, as your bf should explain to you. The people who originally came to colonize south america were Spanish and Portuguese and although they are not as white as the Germanic peoples, they are still white, especially because our capacity to produce melanin makes us easily tanned, while your (germanics) capacity to produce melanin is almost zero, so you get red very easily when exposed to a harsher sunlight. In countries of southern Europe the sunlight IS harsher and I don´t know whether this melanin production we have was developed because of that or if it is something else, but it is an European trait, and a white trait, though Germanics do not have the capacity to produce melanin quickly. In parts of our bodies not exposed to sunlight we tend to be very white, like yourselves or even whiter. But because we live in climates where sunlight and UV rays are harsher, we have more melanin, and if you come to live here, you won't, you'll be red, because you're germanic and germanics cannot produce melanin like latins.

Furthermore the whole concept of 'Latino' is pejorative. I understand you apply it to designate immigrants mainly from Mexico, which are, racially, a mixture of the Spanish colonizers with the local indigenous people, so the concept of a 'latino' is not really the same as the so-called Romance peoples or Latins, speaking scientifically.

[Absurd]

I don't know whether you're aware or not but this thread is called "Love first, or Friendship" and not "I love ******" as Obersturmführer and many others on here want.

Anyway, there is no such thing as 'Aryan Race', just as there is no Germanic or Slavic race. This is an oxymoron to begin with, you're mixing culture with race Hitta plus this Aryan race you love to talk about is more in line with a caste system and it was, in fact, "borrowed" and completely twisted by ****** himself just to serve his own agenda. You sure want an example, well take a look at Maritsa's posts and the way she's handles case sensitive information.

So yea, create a thread called "I love ******", get CapitalistPig to participate and I will steam roll over you both. Do we have a deal ?

[golden]

It's an interesting question.

Just based on my own most important relationship experiences, and assuming my typings are correct:

Benefactor: lovers first, friendship always iffy, did not remain friends, by my choice
Semi-dual: lovers first, very friendly, remained friends
Super-ego: (1) friends first, love iffy, did not remain friends; (2) lovers first, did not remain friends
Identity: lovers first, sort of remained friends

Activity: good balance of love/friendship

But I'm not all that likely to be friends first. So this may vary by quadra values, you know?

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Love isn't friendship though. You put 'love and friendship' together as if they are the same things? But I think love is love and friendship is friendship.

romantic love is NOT the same thing as friendship love. I love my friends but I don't romantically love them. You know?

Romantic love is a beast of its own. I LOVE ROMANCE. Romance is a lot different than both sexual love and friendship love though.

It's just different, and it's all good. I'm tired of putting one higher than the other. romance can be amazing, but it also can suck. it has a lot of pain, it's REALLY emotional. Erotic love is awesome, but also has moral downsides... and then you have friendship love which is awesome, but feels limited in certain ways.

romantic love is kinda dead in this culture and that's what saddens me. I love romantic poems, and I love to be swooned, and I love to be told how special and great I am (to another special somebody, and I like telling them that as well) .... Not everything is about a fucking job or how sexually compatible you are lol.

It seems that everybody wants WORLD FAME like miley cyrus and enneagram 3 stuff. It's weird to me. When i tell people I like long walks on the beach and romantic cards and really cute cuddly stuff, they just laugh at me. Well fuck you. I like that stuff okay. It's amazing!

And you know it can be amazing in its own right. It doesn't have to necessarily develop into hot sex. Because hot sex is naturally degrading...maybe ur soulmate wouldn't want to do that. Actually they probably wouldn't lol. But that's why you have relatoinships with many people you know. People just want too much from one person or something. You want this person to be your friend , your erotic lover and your romantic lover.... it might be too ideal.

[Beautiful sky]

Love first, for me.

[pianosinger]

Love first, for me.

well, that's not quite answering the original question...

What seems to be the natural course of romance and'or friendship between various types based on intertype relations?

For instance, I look back on the boys I had crushes on when I was younger...One was my Dual, one was probably my Supervisor, one was my Contrary...

But the boys who were my best friends were more likely Kindred, Mirage (that would be my ILI husband), Quasi-Identical...

The one relationship I had that really felt like friendship and eros both blossomed together naturally, was Activity...

[Beautiful sky]

well, that's not quite answering the original question...

What seems to be the natural course of romance and'or friendship between various types based on intertype relations?

For instance, I look back on the boys I had crushes on when I was younger...One was my Dual, one was probably my Supervisor, one was my Contrary...

But the boys who were my best friends were more likely Kindred, Mirage (that would be my ILI husband), Quasi-Identical...

The one relationship I had that really felt like friendship and eros both blossomed together naturally, was Activity...

Ok

In activity relations it's more like getting to know each other, speaking a lot about our selves, than proceeding to action; when it goes into action, the relationship breaks down rather quickly, but I wouldn't say that there's any "real" love here. It's more like comfort experienced by philia.

With my dual it's hot as flaming fire and I would consider that to be eros. I've only had this experience once, with a guy I dated.

Mirror relations, to me would be agape. This is an ENFp that I run into all the time when I go thrift store shopping; he's very charming and warm.

[redbaron]

I think we should be careful not to assign a type of love to a type of relation. I mean, any inter-relation can be philia. Etc.

[Simon Ssmall]

Love first, for me.

Again, spoken like a true rare type INFj. LOVE people, LOVE!

[DirectorAbbie]

It is impossible for love to come before friendship.

[DirectorAbbie]

But I ain't ever heard'a "Friends At First Sight".

Not at first sight, but at first smile. "Love at first sight" is just infatuation.

[DirectorAbbie]

Eros meaning Infatuation, in most cases, no?

Maybe, but with infatuation, the further you are from them, the crazier you are about them.

[DirectorAbbie]

You ever been infatuated?

Sort of, once. But I've seen some nutty IEIs.

[FDG]

eros, in its original philosophical form. Actually, i try to live my whole life by its dictate.