Must be:

Emotionally stable. Yeah, scratch that. Asking too much.

Perceptive enough to see through me.

Intelligent on a level that is close to mine, same as mine, or higher than mine.

Willing to verbally spar with me.

Someone who enjoys physical, sexually charged play fighting.

At least 6/10 in physical attractiveness.

Super appreciative of how thoughtful and courteous I am. For example, how I take care of people close to me when they get sick, whether they want me to or not.

Willing to put up with my high level of eccentricity.

Interesting to talk to about stuff.

Someone who likes to spend lots of time 1-on-1 having long conversations.

No older than 40. That's right.

Educated enough to talk about the arts.

Someone who enjoys at least moderately rough sex as well as the tender shit.

Really talkative and have a fun sense of humor. For example, you'll laugh when I say "What the hell?!!!" upon spotting a fat man eating apple pie at a bus stop.



IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN THOUGH SO FUCK THIS SHIT