Fe and Fi Valuing: What do they look like?

[CILi]

Am I getting the jist of this, Timeless?


________________________________________________

More importantly, your VI system's complete!

1) Temperament (16 --> 4)
2) Romance Style (4 --> 2)
3) Fi/Fe Valuing (2 --> 1)

Congrats!

[EyeSeeCold]

Hahaha

[Aiss]

Ideally, I'd like to. Going with the example of my dad, sometimes, when he does something I feel doesn't make sense or is inconsiderate I'll act condescendingly towards him, as a means of goading him into, like, "reconciling his ways" or something like that. And then he gets pissed at me for talking to him like that when he's my father and I'm his subordinate, which makes me pissed at him for even daring to think that he's immune to criticism just by virtue of the fact that he's my father, especially when he feels that he can talk condescendingly to me and I can't return the favor.

Which is something I'd think would map out to Fe versus Fi: He feels that I've committed a Fi-transgression when I talk down to him even though he's above me. Ideally, I'd like to be able to treat a person how I feel they should be treated without regard to their station. I should be able to condescend and tell my boss or my dad when they're doing something wrong without it being seen as some kind of huge faux pas because I'm going "above my station."

I had the same issues with my Fe-valuing parents. They expected asymmetry, I never put up with it. In my family, my sister (IEI) seems to have tolerated it best. I suspected she did so for the sake of emotional well-being or atmosphere, however, considering your experience, it might be that she was simply the only one sharing their values.

I was thinking of it more in the way the two see relationships progressing. From what I've read, and what I've heard from my Fi-valuing sister and a co-worker, Fi-lers see relationships develop in discrete phases (we're interested in each other=>We're seeing each other=>We're dating=>We're boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.) of progressive intimacy whereas Fe-lers skip one or more of those steps and let the relationship progress in intimacy based on how they feel in the moment.

That doesn't seem to make much sense. Fi is internal, it works with implicit relations, not explicit ones. I imagine Thinkers might be on average more comfortable with these labels than Feelers, simply because they had both F elements weak, but I don't see how it could work for Fi/Ti valuing.

That's kind of what I was getting at. Fi-lers would try to empathize with you and understand and commiserate with you in order to help you work through those negative feelings and solve them and hopefully the problem causing those negative feelings in the first place, while a Fe-ler would try to improve your mood forcibly, essentially pulling you away from your negative emotions and making you feel good which, while it wouldn't actually help you solve your problem, it would put you in a healthier, more emotionally positive state of mind to deal with that problem, rather than letting you sulk and self-deprecate and hate yourself.

I could see it work, but somehow I don't think it's this simple.

[Timeless]

Am I getting the jist of this, Timeless?


________________________________________________

More importantly, your VI system's complete!

1) Temperament (16 --> 4)
2) Romance Style (4 --> 2)
3) Fi/Fe Valuing (2 --> 1)

Congrats!

Cool. That gave me an idea:

Here's how to tell the difference between Ne/Ni valuing:



Goes one way. Goes multiple ways.

[CILi]

Aahhhh...



Now is much better, no?