If I'm Alpha NT, am I most likely to be

[717495]

Finally a 16typesmember with brains...

Yeah, I see poli as ILE-Ti.

Poli shows signs of creativity and brainstorming. But not the ILI kind of creativity. ILE fits him nicely.

Yes, and I know just what you're talking about.

Though I wouldn't say that MBTI is the same, because as it exists as an already developed community and not a frame of perspective, ie) ENTPs of the community are typed it because of their social tendencies, and some INTPs (like Einstein) who are obviously introverted, are ILE. (MBTI also has statistics of INFJ in 1% and their duals in 12%, which I doubt in Socionics).

Even if I <you know what I mean>, I don't necessarily dislike you. You're simply not my piece of cake, I'm not into absurd humour, neither relativism, neither humanism, and whatever else you belong to.
I think that you should not draw generalized conclusions, to feel like stigmatized or something, at least I don't see you as some kind of person that will be rejected by anyone. Maybe you have unrealistic aims, that you should be liked by everybody - I used to think like that years ago, maybe all people in their lives. I realized that when I fail at someone or something (eg a company) it's because we're simply not made for each other. I sometimes struggled to please by getting out of my way, and after being accepted realizing that I actually am the one that don't like what I've got and either leave or obstruct. No gain, in any case.

And you know what? I observed that truly being myself, I'm more liked by the people than when I try to catch all the balls. Really. Maybe I'm a bit clueless, since to be myself means that I don't give a shit about what others think of me, but still I think that's the case, things work smoother with many people. But it's tricky to find what this "true self" is, some people become unnaturally relaxed and careless, believing somehow that that's how a "natural" person should be, but that's bullshit. If your nature is to be careless, then fine, if not - then it's something else entirely. Get what I mean?

And in fact, if you can't be yourself or suffer because of people, so what? It's like the difference between sadness and joy none is worse, they're just two emotions specialized for different cases. You're neither the first, nor the last in this situation. Life goes on .
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Btw, about that "haunting", maybe it's not the same thing but I often get haunted by things I said or done, sometimes I simply sit and something reminds me of something awful, for example something embarrassing, so my heart begins to pound, I feel the creeps, and then in minutes it's over. Because I'm anyway random and unpredictable, I have often lows and highs, I can't tell whether this affects my moral, but apparently not.

Thank you for taking time to read. Well we do sound similar, just from listening to you on the forum all this time, your way of putting things into perspective, and I have the same perspective on what you say about ourselves and people in general. I don't feel like I beat myself up over anything too hard because my perspectives always change, I get back to a neutral stance on things fairly quickly, and I always see the other side of things. I can be different one day, and some might say I'm acting fake, but you know I can adapt or play a different card, I'm not afraid of not being myself (even though it is myself, see? ). I'm mainly afraid of doing something foolish and over the top, and might second guess myself because something is not publicly normal to do, and might yield to people seeing me as much too weird and shun me (and this leads to more wariness about Fe as well as a general social introversion, having fears of the limelight). But lets say if there is someone who is pumping me up full of positive emotion/energy and it resonates through me, I have no doubt in my mind I can outperform myself no matter what, that is I can either sometimes be spontaneous and do even wackier things, or in a neutral state of mind I feel that today is a good day and things are looking up for me. It all really depends on who I'm around as I'm fairly adaptive. I don't get a lot of attention in my daily life, as I'm in my thoughts and learned to not expect it. But when I'm in a positive limelight, backed up by a true feeling of comradery, then I can prove to be hyper-creative and amusing, that is I feel comfortable being somewhat social and that let's people know that I am rather weirder than what they had in mind.

I speak of Fe and socializing, but it's really just not a part of my character, and I don't consider myself really to be much of a humanist, humanitarian. Really from getting to know me I'm much more of a theorist and researcher, or interested in mental creations, scifi and possibilities, overall I'm just imaginative and thoughtful but not much in relation to the human element. I am though definitely a relativist. I'm one of the least opinionated people I know. In regards to Fe, it feels in general, emotiveness and feeling expression, as a hidden agenda, I experience as its always something that comes to me and resonates in a soft way, and I experience it through writing and playing symphonic music, but not something I personally give off or am good at giving off (explained more a the bottom of my post), and Ti as (I think we've discussed before) a creative (not primary) function, but one to draw from in little bits and theorize from a non-biased perspective often. It is good with helping me invent and see categories for any of my interests, in a creative pursuit. I always have a sense of potential first and foremost (and that always seems to be the true source of creativity where as Ti is what "can be changed" or "form a new idea using knowledge of categories or systems"). There is not much of a chance I'd think that Ti is my dominant function from reading and witness how they are, or Fi as my dominant as it is explained in Socionics. I think I'm much too open to how things work and the possibilities (filling in what's really there with options) and lack wanting to make judgment, even though I think I've learned that I can be good at judgment. I just feel like remaining relative and open, it seems naturally more comfortable. Some of the ILE descriptions make a very good case for me as Ne+Ti and all the extra things added in. With ILI (a few other descriptions that might fit) does not make complete sense and pins me with the wrong quadra, but both have reasonable instances of being right. IJ type descriptions seem never to fit.

I have often thought I'm both T and F dichotomy, as I fluxuate near evenly as a balanced human, but most of the time it is T, and I think people who introduced me to MBTI and studied it have not seen me as F enough, and I don't feel as though I connect enough to the ethical element to be considered F. Though I think I've come to realize that I do connect well to Fe (emotion/expression) in an obviously non-ego way, as it comes in and out of consciousness a reminder of my passion.

polikujm: Next time I see you on tinychat, I'm going to talk to you.

Sure, sounds good.

I don't know what type you are, I don't see you contribute much other than your own particular style of humour, which seems more 'within' than out.

This is quite true it is often more "self-humor," as I have problems connecting with people in the right way. It could be related to ILE's PoLR function. I've heard various people tell me that my humor is alpha in nature, and I like and relate to the humor of other ILEs on this forum.

Just to throw it out there, maybe a low activity SEI

Whatever your type, it's irrational over rational imo.

I think I've lately come across as stronger in F because of expression of my hidden agenda and a lack of dualization (becoming a faulty dual). It doesn't seem like the same thing as being my normal 'silly' or 'witty-esque' self, however it's often me saying something weird and sometimes unrelated (and that is not really "funny humor" that's just me either being bored or trying to make a valid point. I don't think various people actually understand this and think I'm trying to be funny ) SEI or IEI is kind of a misstep with Fe-creative, but thank you I can see why you might say that's possible. I have personally liked much of how SEIs, especially Fe subtypes, are, the way their ideas and music expresses very serenely and paints an unique aesthetic picture. It's kind of hard to explain, but there's a certain feel to it. In talking to greenantler about being ILE, this was a main reason which seemed fairly identifiable as to why SEIs are my dual, because of this difficult to explain attraction of something I can easily now identify of their essence. Serene is the word used for SEI, but there is something else that brings SEI and IEI together in it. Esp. Fe-subtype, there's a way they are able to alter sound and word expressions in pleasant ways, and play with their voice, and an SEI I once knew would always be intruigingly dancing and humming to herself, a good appreciation for lyrics as well as aesthetics. I'm not at all overlooking this as something irrelevant, it's a very stimulating part of my dualistic attraction and not something I am good at doing. Of those I know they seem to have an overall dormant enthusiasm and positive attitude towards life.