Fi ignoring/Fe leading and adapting behavior for ENFjs and ESFjs

[Suz]

can u guys give some examples of such scenarios? I'm not sure i totally understand...

[limNol]

I catch myself doing this sometimes -- it's not so much becoming a different person so much as it's emphasizing different aspects of one's self to fit into different contexts. I always feel guilty when I catch myself doing this, but the truth is that everyone does it to some extent.

An extreme example is the way you use a different tone when you're talking to your boss vs. a close friend -- it's the same kind of discrepancy in self-expression, except it doesn't necessarily stem from the external context of the interaction as much as an awareness of the specific individual(s) you're talking to...if that makes any sense.

[Suz]

I catch myself doing this sometimes -- it's not so much becoming a different person so much as it's emphasizing different aspects of one's self to fit into different contexts. I always feel guilty when I catch myself doing this, but the truth is that everyone does it to some extent.

An extreme example is the way you use a different tone when you're talking to your boss vs. a close friend -- it's the same kind of discrepancy in self-expression, except it doesn't necessarily stem from the external context of the interaction as much as an awareness of the specific individual(s) you're talking to...if that makes any sense.

yeah i think everyone does this. I feel if anything it reflects differing Fi distances rather than Fe.

[limNol]

yeah i think everyone does this. I feel if anything it reflects differing Fi distances rather than Fe.

Yeah, everyone does this, but I think different types might do it for different reasons. Fi types probably do it as a way of reflecting and establishing a certain relationship, whereas Fe types might do it more for the sake of maintaining a particular 'emotional atmosphere.'

[Aleksei]

I think everyone is guilty of doing this.

yeah i think everyone does this. I feel if anything it reflects differing Fi distances rather than Fe.

Yeah, everyone does this, but I think different types might do it for different reasons. Fi types probably do it as a way of reflecting and establishing a certain relationship, whereas Fe types might do it more for the sake of maintaining a particular 'emotional atmosphere.'

Hmmm, no, I actually think this is more the purview of Ethical types. Logical types I think would tend to be more gruff and less comfortable with modifying their behavior to create a certain emotional impact.

Any type can bullshit to make a good impression on others though.

[ashlesha]

Hmmm, no, I actually think this is more the purview of Ethical types. Logical types I think would tend to be more gruff and less comfortable with modifying their behavior to create a certain emotional impact.

Any type can bullshit to make a good impression on others though.

nah, i think even logical types behave differently towards their lover than they do towards their boss.

for those of you who say you do it, i wonder how conscious it is for you. it's not something i think about doing, and when somebody comments about something like, "your voice sounds different when you're on the phone with so-and-so" it takes me by surprise because i hadn't even noticed.

[limNol]

It's an automatic thing for me, too, but more and more I'm trying to be conscious of it. I realized that people who knew me in different capacities sometimes had completely different conceptions of me, and somewhere along the way the "real me" was getting lost in translation.

edit- In terms of ethical vs. logical types, I think it's a continuum. Everyone does it to different extents, but ethical types are more to one side of the continuum than logical types.

[Aleksei]

nah, i think even logical types behave differently towards their lover than they do towards their boss.

Clearly, but it'd be harder for them. Logical types (IxTx's especially) I find, tend to be somewhat Spock-like and need some help letting loose. That's why they need us Ethicals.

[mu4]

nah, i think even logical types behave differently towards their lover than they do towards their boss.

I'm actually more likely to alter my behavior temporarily for a business reason then for a lover. If someone like that doesn't like me for who I am then what's the point? A lover is going to get me more like myself when I'm alone then anyone else.

This is not to say that I won't do certain things in order to attain/maintain a relationship that I find necessary but the moment I feel the alteration is untenable or not worth the emotional rewards, it's over.

Fundamentally I'm looking for someone who likes me for who I am, since I feel I'm pretty cool already.

I might ask someone to do something for me, but I would never ask anyone to be someone for me and this is what I want in return. I tend to eventually grow apart from people that tried to be what I wanted but was just putting on a facade.

However, I do happen to behave differently with people I care about such as caring about them.

[blankblank]

Errrr, I do that unconsciously and all the time.

Yeah, everyone does this, but I think different types might do it for different reasons. Fi types probably do it as a way of reflecting and establishing a certain relationship, whereas Fe types might do it more for the sake of maintaining a particular 'emotional atmosphere.'

THAT I can agree with.