Which socionics type wants/needs to hold hands to guide through traffic?

[Satan]

Last, where he is doing his charge-ahead, survey, cut-through stuff, I am often quietly correcting him when he has gone overboard imo. If he seems not to notice another person and is getting too close to them, for example, I will put my hand between him and that person, or just point out what he overlooked.

That sounds really lame. If people don't get out of the way then if they get knocked into it's their own problem. And when you start being ok with people being in the way it is like you're losing a part of yourself. And when you lose yourself what's the point of moving at all? And if no-one moves then no-one is. And if nothing is, then people have no significance. And if people have no significance, then fuck 'em.

These are boring details, even to me. My point, if I have one, is that whatever outward form of leading/following might appear between two people, there's bound to be some give-and-take. We're not talking about something tantamount to an adult leading a small child or an infirm person. It's more a matter of how people with different styles and strengths coordinate themselves physically to navigate. And I do think it's type-related.

I've noticed in myself that I feel better walking with some people than walking with others. I've also nearly-randomly started holding peoples hands that I don't know that well. To me what works is best is when people can keep up a decent pace and not act like every step is painful and hard to place. Not act disorientated or lost. Act aware, and in control, and in charge. Thing is, some people can do a clinging type thing when moving and it's like they don't stay in touch with their own movements. And I think sometimes people do have to be propped up for whatever reason.

[golden]

That sounds really lame. If people don't get out of the way then if they get knocked into it's their own problem. And when you start being ok with people being in the way it is like you're losing a part of yourself. And when you lose yourself what's the point of moving at all? And if no-one moves then no-one is. And if nothing is, then people have no significance. And if people have no significance, then fuck 'em.

What part of it is lame exactly? I mean, in a crowded city, or in any place where people congregate and there's a terrain or whatever to navigate, there will be obstacles and people will have different trajectories and whatnot.

Just free-associating, part of what I actually like is losing myself. I enjoy the way that various places and crowds allow me to kind of exit the immediate sensory environment and set me to dreaming and flowing. My bf is sort of the opposite--he enjoys the stimulation and challenge of the place itself, and that's really cool and balances out my little inner world. Sometimes I get too absorbed in that meditative thing I do, and he pulls me into the immediate. And sometimes he's so into the forward push that it's like, I see that other people also have their paths and there should be some limit on how much we fuck up their day.

I've noticed in myself that I feel better walking with some people than walking with others. I've also nearly-randomly started holding peoples hands that I don't know that well. To me what works is best is when people can keep up a decent pace and not act like every step is painful and hard to place. Not act disorientated or lost. Act aware, and in control, and in charge. Thing is, some people can do a clinging type thing when moving and it's like they don't stay in touch with their own movements. And I think sometimes people do have to be propped up for whatever reason.

This sounds a lot like the guy I'm with. He's rapid and physically in charge, and even if he does get lost, he doesn't act like it--it's just a problem-solving opportunity. Even though I am sorta dreamy, I kind of do the same thing, but in a quieter way. I actually like to walk really fast, too, and I get put out with slow, ambling walkers who seem to lack direction or who move poorly. He just sorta occupies more territory than I do, makes bolder movements.

He has whole stories about walking with ex-girlfriends and being extremely annoyed with their slowness. I'm the first woman he's been with who doesn't drive him up the wall by being slow, directionless, and whiny in walking/hiking situations.

So I'm not sure where the take-her-by-the-hand dynamic really comes from. I can keep up with him regardless, I'm super glad he walks quickly and boldly, and I don't HAVE to have my hand held. But since we're making rapid progress and the path is often indirect or requires other people to make space, there's more chaos when we don't form a unit, and I'm just a tad slower because I'm a little more polite and have a smaller presence so people don't let me by so readily. And I guess that unless I'm with someone very young or very old, I don't make decisions for two all that often in these situations, whereas to him it comes more naturally to lead. ??????

Essentially, we enjoy walking together and complement e/other well.

[ashlesha]

heh @ analyzing walking habits. it reminds me of not long ago walking with a friend and being thwarted and confused cos she would hang behind and expect me to "lead." and it was only then that i realized that i always hang back and expect the other person to "lead" without thinking about it. after i realized what was happening i was able to take the leading position. once with the same friend i was all caught up in conversation and ended up leading us way off in the wrong direction. but she was the one to finally point it out (and laughed at me for going the wrong way even though she was walking with me). i dont mind walking with her, but its a different kind of dynamic than what i'm used to. i think she's IEE, dont know if it matters.