Originally Posted by
squark
Sometimes I get mad fast and it dissipates rapidly. But other times, anger creeps up on me, and I don't even know it's there at first. And just builds. And right now is like that. I'm angry and stressed and depressed, and there's not a fucking person I can talk to, so I'm telling a bunch of strangers on the internet. The fucking internet. Two-dimensional shittiest form of trying to communicate ever. Hate this shit. All the fucking words. Just typed words, and waiting, and not reaching anything. Not fucking connecting with ANYTHING. Your own thoughts just echo around and fall lifeless to the ground. IM, and facebook, and these damn forums, just two-dimensional space, and distance. Too much distance, and too much safety. And I'm sick of my own head, and my own thoughts, and trying to fix myself, and cure my anger. I want to be known, and touched, and reached, but I feel like I'm fire, that only burns and destroys everything, and nobody wants to get too near. I can contain myself and be acceptable enough to everyone, and they're all happy, but I get so sick of that, and it drives me crazy. I haven't been sleeping or eating, have lost like 10 lbs in the past 2 weeks. And it's from having to remain so damn contained, holding all of my anger and frustration back. Don't do that. Find a way to let it out to be dealt with. My way is physically, take it out with my body, through hard exercize of some sort. But, I have to recognize the anger first.