Then your problem is making big deals out of small thingsOriginally Posted by squark
Then your problem is making big deals out of small things
lol, nope. wrong answer. my problem is something different, and none of your business, hah.
Apparently "ranting" doesn't reduce your anger... but may even increase it.
I say god keep those people away from me.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
cause they're your conflictors!
Yea well obviously writing a wall of text proclaiming your problems with aggression one day and laughing at it for being melodramatic the next is a sign of not having a problem. Lol and your right it isn't my business, but the fact you're posting on it online kind of makes it my business. If you want privacy simply don't open your mouth.
Also I'm not just being an asshole here, I just don't appreciate your "no, wrong answer" attitude. Simply letting me know you don't wish to discuss this issue with me, is more than sufficient to get your message across without adding a barb onto the end of what you say. If you simply assertively make your wishes known, I have no problem respecting them, because its ridiculous that I would want to somehow be cruel to a random person I don't even know. Part of your problems may be if you talk to people like this, you get an angry reaction. Alright?
And yes let me anticipate your response.... "No that's not my problem".... ok well then stop bitching if you don't have a problem, if you do, say it and be done with the melodrama. Your confusion, mood swings, and indecisiveness are irritating. Just go to bar and get drunk and flail around at people yelling "You don't even know me man" or something... GOD......
Last edited by male; 12-02-2010 at 12:17 AM.
Yea I don't know, I can see how that works, but I kind of always focus on solutions. Whenever I encounter a problem, I get angry, and whenever it reaches its conclusion I relax. Ranting helps bring the issue to recognition, but having that recognition can be inflammatory.
Anyways, I don't think its ever that simple. A lot of it depends on what the issue is, like ranting about things you can do nothing about is a waste of time and energy. However it does feel good to rant, which can calm someone down, just to articulate their problem, so that they can realize it, and possibly acquire some clarity of mind.
I don't know I think I need to rant to mentally process what I'm angry at, instead if I try to just stuff down my grievances it creates mentally instability.
I AM done. I ranted, got a fresh perspective, and calmed down and laughed about the whole thing. Yes, I called my first reaction melodramatic, but that doesn't mean that the problems were small. I over-reacted imo, however, regardless of the situation, my reaction was an overreaction. Something many times more serious could have happened, and I'd still laugh at my own response to it, because it's funny. And fwiw, I have done that in much more serious situations. Drama, even my own can make me laugh. However, it does not follow that I was making a huge deal out of something small. One thing in particular that was bothering me is not small at all. My reaction being over-the-top does not mean that there was nothing serious about what bothered me.
I'm not.
lol that's fine, I don't need an explanation, I just was saying I didn't like getting verbally jabbed at.
I feel like an asshole now lol, like "You need to explain yourself to me RAWR!"
lol @ "internet sleeves"!!
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Wait, I was thinking more of "venting". But what's the difference between ranting and venting? Anyway, I think the idea is that you don't reduce something by expressing more, you reduce something by expressing less. Or something.
Ahah, but what about artists that claim they feel better after they can express themselves? You know like the whole emo.... when I feel bad I write depressing poetry and then I feel better.
I'm not saying that's me, but the existence of such a phenomenon breaks the mold your trying to cast your theory in.
Well, it was more like that if you break something when you get mad, it won't reduce your anger. I think the argument was something like Buddhist monks don't get peaceful by getting pissed and smashing things. I would tend to agree, because if you are pissed all the time, then you'll just get more pissed.
I'm not sure if the process of writing depressing poetry would necessarily make you feel better or worse. I think that there are two ways to look at it after writing depressing poetry: "I am depressed, I am hopeless" or "I am depressed, I need to get better".
Last edited by Singu; 12-03-2010 at 01:24 AM.
Sure but there is a lot of depth within Buddhism, that is why usually Buddhists have teachers and spend a large amount of time in meditation and contemplation. Its extremely easy to get confused, misapply things, and experience nihilistic depression as a result of the kind of deep contemplation buddhist monks do.
I am personally not an expert in buddhism, so I won't put on that hat, what I will say is that what you say makes sense... however still I think catharsis is important. I think its better to confront ones anger than it is to repress it. Buddhist monks I believe in a way are confronting anger when they meditate, but its about finding peace and enlightenment. One of the basic principles of buddhism I believe is that life is suffering... so anger and such fits within that explanation.
However, while I find such buddhists principle peaceful, I still like the idea of solutions. I think this may come down to the split between enneagram type 8's and enneagram type 9's. I think instinctively I am more of an e8, I know that I value quick instinctive decisiveness, and find myself spiritually aligned to different concepts such as believing in something greater than myself, which keeps my ego in check. When I loose that focus in my life, I become self-centered and empty. When I try to do things for some concept of a greater good though I feel much more satisfied spiritually. The worst however is when you try to do something thinking its for the greater good and then it all falls apart on you and you look like a self-righteous pompous asshole. That of course only makes me feel a stronger urge to clean up the mess.
Anyways all of that isn't super important the point is that I think their is some variation in the way different people deal with anger. What works for one person may not work for another... personally I have my methods, but sitting around and just expelling it out of my system like pent up gas in my bowels doesn't work for me, and that's not to say my preferred method is smashing things.... its just that for me personally, I find whenever I arch up over something, simply the act of analyzing my emotional response calms me down and gives me clarity, and usually it always begins with me being arched up and progresses to a more entranced relaxed mental state.
The problem is interpersonally, people have trouble throwing their problems into a collective pot and debating through them until a judicious solution is reached. Ranting to other people typically can be inflammatory, and so its usually best to be mindful of the company you are in when your angry, some people will feel almost as if they are personally under attack if you rant to them and they will break down with fear and anxiety and potentially lash back at you.
you're an E-1. I realized that you guys hate it when you disintegrate to E-4 and become Melodramatic, and even a slight healthy dosage of philosophy/romanticizing isn't the cup of tea for you guys. I think this makes you guys the most realistic of all LSI, but baffling to a lot of your EIE dual whose 3 with a heavy 4 wing.
Anyway, when you guys disintegrate and becomes irrational @ 4 combine w/ suppress anger that need to come out, sometimes it is very hard to reason with you guys. The need to be rationalized as a one/ suppressing your gut instinct also complicates things here.
(D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)
I totally agree about the e1 instinct fix, e1 have an almost obsessive tendency to control their rage/anger. Of course I don't mean to imply obsessive = negative characteristic. There are positives and negatives to all different e-types.
Yes.
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