Being physically attracted to conflictor

[Lobo]

I'm wondering if this is common or not. Have you been really physically attracted to a conflictor and the feeling was mutual?

[Skeptic]

I've been physically attracted to people of all types. Physical attraction is a seperate entity from a type, which is mostly information based. Unless you conform to the more controversial 'type based on body' or vice versa.

[Lobo]

I've been physically attracted to people of all types. Physical attraction is a seperate entity from a type, which is mostly information based. Unless you conform to the more controversial 'type based on body' or vice versa.

I was just wondering, because I don't think it's that common, regardless of how type has supposedly nothing to do with appearance.

[Lobo]

And I'm not talking about finding them "cute" or something like that. More like something that's strong.

[Crispy]

I'm physically attracted to most females.
Conflictor's prey on eachothers Ids, which is the most aggressive/instinctual part of the psyche. Always great "I fucking hate you" sex.

[DirectorAbbie]

I'm picky enough not to have this problem.

[Ave]

I'm picky enough not to have this problem.

So you aerent attracted to anyone, then?

[DirectorAbbie]

So you aerent attracted to anyone, then?

For the most part. I can tell when a guy is handsome or cute. I can tell that most guys are ugly. It has the same effect on me as noticing a pretty girl. I found a guy attractive once, but he was ILI, not IEI.

[Ave]

For the most part. I can tell when a guy is handsome or cute. I can tell that most guys are ugly. It has the same effect on me as noticing a pretty girl. I found a guy attractive once, but he was ILI, not IEI.

So you are lesbian, for the most part?

[DirectorAbbie]

So you are lesbian, for the most part?

Certainly not. I can't even bond with a female as a best friend. I'm more likely to become a nun than get interested in a girl like that.

[Ave]

ok ok

[golden]

I'm attracted to my conflictors, but it's their personality that draws me in. It's definitely not a sex thing ... or is it? Hmmm.

(I don't know anything anymore, don't listen to me. I may not even have a Socionics type of my own. Maybe I just float around like a nontypable unstructured entity.)

[Lobo]

I'm attracted to my conflictors, but it's their personality that draws me in. It's definitely not a sex thing ... or is it? Hmmm.

(I don't know anything anymore, don't listen to me. I may not even have a Socionics type of my own. Maybe I just float around like a nontypable unstructured entity.)

In my case it's both, and I don't know what to make of it... Can't help but wondering if it's mistyping, because so far there seems to be an instinctual connection thing going on.

[Words]

In my case it's both, and I don't know what to make of it... Can't help but wondering if it's mistyping, because so far there seems to be an instinctual connection thing going on.

It makes me wonder if i'm mistyping people, then I think fuck it stop analysing and just go with it.

For instance, for myself, say for instance I meet a girl and I really like her, maybe my mind will start thinking about stuff we can do in the future, holidays, nights in, out.... but it's just the start and plenty of time to get to know each other if it's going to work. For myself I kinda see taking analysing their type too seriously, it could still turn out that socionics kinda works and the person turns out to be my dual, but they can still piss me off for non-socionic reasons.

I've also found that 'instinctual connection' occurs when i've got similar hobbies and in the early finding person attractive stage, hormones and shit more potent than the mind.

[Lobo]

It makes me wonder if i'm mistyping people, then I think fuck it stop analysing and just go with it.

For instance, for myself, say for instance I meet a girl and I really like her, maybe my mind will start thinking about stuff we can do in the future, holidays, nights in, out.... but it's just the start and plenty of time to get to know each other if it's going to work. For myself I kinda see taking analysing their type too seriously, it could still turn out that socionics kinda works and the person turns out to be my dual, but they can still piss me off for non-socionic reasons.

I've also found that 'instinctual connection' occurs when i've got similar hobbies and in the early finding person attractive stage, hormones and shit more potent than the mind.

Yeah, in a way it's like I don't care about the type because it feels good. Guess I'll just have to wait and see how it develops.

[Beautiful sky]

I'm attracted to my conflictors, but it's their personality that draws me in. It's definitely not a sex thing ... or is it? Hmmm.

(I don't know anything anymore, don't listen to me. I may not even have a Socionics type of my own. Maybe I just float around like a nontypable unstructured entity.)

LOL; I'm reading your post. It was the same for me in the past but the more interactions I have with my duals the more my conflictor interactions don't please me. Like today I met my friend and her SLE husband for a beer and for a moment he suspected that the cheap bottle on their bookstore was not broken by his cats (I was baby sitting for his cats while they were out of town and found a blue bottle broken on the floor when I went in to feed them). These instances or moments that he's looking for a "reaction" or Fe that assures him that I did not do it come across to me like he doesn't trust me and have faith in what I'm telling him is the truth. I can't produce Fe for him so instead his response, like saying "It's not like our cats to jump up on the book shelf and break something" came off WRONG to me because it hit my Se polr -Him trying to read me and my motives. ARGH. My dual wouldn't give a rats ass about some cheap ass blue bottle that anyone would have broken and would have instead been concerned about someone getting hurt. Anyway, just a small situation of how Fi and Fe work differently and how that particular response can sneak into my feelings and hurt me on the inside to the point where I will hold onto his response for a long long time, later on bringing it up and causing conflict; hence, conflicting relationship.

[717495]

For the most part. I can tell when a guy is handsome or cute. I can tell that most guys are ugly. It has the same effect on me as noticing a pretty girl. I found a guy attractive once, but he was ILI, not IEI.

This is why you need an Fi, so he can know right off the bat you're not attracted to him

[Galen]

This isn't a fair question because Hugh Laurie is objectively hot :/

[1981slater]

Yes! ESI girls tend to be HOT but annoying

[BlazingZulu]

Anyway, just a small situation of how Fi and Fe work differently and how that particular response can sneak into my feelings and hurt me on the inside to the point where I will hold onto his response for a long long time, later on bringing it up and causing conflict; hence, conflicting relationship.

LOL! Turn that into a hilarious insider for yourself and see his noodle work overtime. Be like, "Hey now that I think of it, I did see pinky eyeballing that shiny blue bottle that was sitting on the bookshelf." What can he say haha

[krieger]

My experience is that it doesn't happen much. Most of the time you pick up an acute sense of unease from the person.

[Jarno]

I'm wondering if this is common or not. Have you been really physically attracted to a conflictor and the feeling was mutual?

Yes. lived with my conflictor for 4 years.

although what labcoat says is true, if you are attuned to it, you can easely feel some psychological uneaseness. But physically there's nothing wrong with them.

[ashlesha]

My experience is that it doesn't happen much. Most of the time you pick up an acute sense of unease from the person.

yeah, ime too.

i think you can be physically attracted to any type just based on looks or whatever, but type comes across in physical demeanor/presence also, which is a part of physical attraction. any attraction i've had to my conflictor has been more along the lines of, "they seem interesting...," along with the general sense of wariness. but then i'm generally attracted to people i feel safe and comfortable around so i guess if the feelings of unease and wariness are titillating to you (heh) then it might be more likely.

anyway i think i'm making this more specific than it actually is...anybody can be attracted to anybody, really. lol.

[April]

To the OP: Never.

[Lobo]

My experience is that it doesn't happen much. Most of the time you pick up an acute sense of unease from the person.

Yes. lived with my conflictor for 4 years.

although what labcoat says is true, if you are attuned to it, you can easely feel some psychological uneaseness. But physically there's nothing wrong with them.

yeah, ime too.

i think you can be physically attracted to any type just based on looks or whatever, but type comes across in physical demeanor/presence also, which is a part of physical attraction. any attraction i've had to my conflictor has been more along the lines of, "they seem interesting...," along with the general sense of wariness. but then i'm generally attracted to people i feel safe and comfortable around so i guess if the feelings of unease and wariness are titillating to you (heh) then it might be more likely.

anyway i think i'm making this more specific than it actually is...anybody can be attracted to anybody, really. lol.

I'm thinking that it might have something to do with another another dimension of compatibility, maybe enneagram. In my case, the only thing so far that does make me a little uneasy is the almost constant joking around that involves name calling. Other than that, I'm not that uneasy about the power struggle and testing of it at times. In that sense I like to fight back and not just get stepped over, also try to gain a position of control, so that's one thing that sounded familiar from E8 and E6 relationship descriptions I've read. All I know is SO FAR it was actually a lot of attraction, but now the SLE is not talking to me for some reason, lol.

[Words]

I've seen happily married conflictors, sucks when socionics don't work!

[krieger]

I'm thinking that it might have something to do with another another dimension of compatibility, maybe enneagram.

There are a lot of those, yeah. Political compass is very important too.

[stevENTj]

Yes! ESI girls tend to be HOT but annoying

I can vouch for that!

[stevENTj]

I've seen happily married conflictors, sucks when socionics don't work!

My dad is an LIE and my mom, as best as I've ever been able to figure is an SEI, conflictors. Of course there's plenty of grey areas in typings, and also a lot more to long-term relationships than socionics. You can work around the conflicts of a relationship and learn to respect the needs of the other. Of course that's not to say that things don't get awkward or weird. There's more than a bit of that with my folks, but they do love each other and have made it work all these years. Socionics is "working", there's just more to it than that is all.

[xerx]

Depending on how you define attraction, I can be attracted to any type. But am more attracted to certain duals that, other than being duals, might not have been very attractive.

[Lobo]

To answer the OP: ime, yes, it can happen. I don't know if it's common though, but It wouldn't be very surprising if it were since one's conflictor is one's dual's quasi...

Yeah, when all the factors are just right, I'm thinking that it could actually work out for a LTR.

[Lobo]

Depending on how you define attraction, I can be attracted to any type. But am more attracted to certain duals that, other than being duals, might not have been very attractive.

I'm talking about both physical and personality attraction, which is surprisingly stronger than some of your dual attractions.

[golden]

i guess if the feelings of unease and wariness are titillating to you (heh) then it might be more likely.

Nail, meet head. You've pinpointed my dilemma.

[golden]

Yeah, when all the factors are just right, I'm thinking that it could actually work out for a LTR.

All I can say is I cannot recommend it.

[Skeptic]

Yeah, when all the factors are just right, I'm thinking that it could actually work out for a LTR.

When the factors are just right, probably. But factors don't remain that way for long, so it's only a matter of time before the cosmos return to normal.

[Lobo]

Yeah, it's like some sort of sick joke... On one hand you may like each other a lot, but then you might not be able to work it out when there's a problem.

[Lobo]

I see what you're saying about all other factors being right. I'm relating my experience to add to the data you're collecting (): in my case the relationship lasted a handful of months. I also think most other important factors were just about right, but not all. There was nothing wrong per se, at least not anything i could accurately put my finger on and isolate to work on, just a certain inability to properly, fully, understand where the other person was coming from and inability to establish proper trust and re-assure one-another.

Oh, also, a dual came along (the other person's dual, I mean)...

That sucks, what's your type btw?

[Socionics Is A Cult]

I've known Se-dominants that seem to have been "attracted" to something about my presence, and not merely in order to cause me pain - i.e. perhaps there was something about me each time that made them feel compelled to get closer.

As for the other way round - and with my knowledge of Socionics - it feels to me like a naughty pleasure. I don't mean that I intentionally pleasure myself with such people - I mean that it seems like a frivolous interchange where I may get burnt or where I may make a brief connection with the individual, perhaps a moment of mutual understanding. But generally (not just with conflictors), I feel wary, like I'm going to be caught out, so often, any physical attraction I am at such a distance that attraction as a result of a person's physique is not possible.

[xerx]

I'm talking about both physical and personality attraction, which is surprisingly stronger than some of your dual attractions.

In that case I'm more attracted to my duals and not very attracted to my conflictors.

[Lobo]

I've known Se-dominants that seem to have been "attracted" to something about my presence, and not merely in order to cause me pain - i.e. perhaps there was something about me each time that made them feel compelled to get closer.

LOL, I don't think it sucks in hindsight, but thanks. This was several years ago and it's for the best, honestly. I don't think it would have worked out very well.

I'm ENFp.

Well, it seemed like your SO was stolen, hehe.