Enneagram Types Compatiblity and Relationships

[Creepy-male]

What do you mean? I have the description of the two in a work related setting if that's what would be more helpful.

I mean the relationship with a Three I have, while being close, is not romantic, so there's not a whole lot in that description that really applies to us. I mean to be honest, even if it was a romantic relationship, there so much wrong there, lol. The writing kind of assumes a degree of hip-joining that I could never see happening tbh.

It was still interesting in that it gave me a bit of insight into how our respective fixations view the other's. I know I remind her to take it easy on herself when she's not achieving, but it's interesting kind of filling in the mental blanks behind when she's jokingly told me I should integrate to Three for my own good

I think a work relationship is even less applicable.

[Creepy-female]

I mean the relationship with a Three I have, while being close, is not romantic, so there's not a whole lot in that description that really applies to us. I mean to be honest, even if it was a romantic relationship, there so much wrong there, lol. The writing kind of assumes a degree of hip-joining that I could never see happening tbh.

They don't describe romantic relations exclusively. I mean if I was going to examine a relationship I'd just take out the romantic bits and get a feel for how the types energy and such interacted. But there were a few descriptions that detailed a mother-son account or something, so I suppose it depends on how explicit the descriptions are with that sort of thing. They vary.

[Creepy-male]

Ah, I'm just trying to get a handle on why the writing assumes such a degree of what seems to me to be overinvolvement in the other's life (in the 3+9 description). Except for recreation, we lead really separate lives with really separate identities, and she really doesn't supervise my goals and direction or anything like that in the least.

I just guessed at the reason why the article is like that is because it's written about a romantic couple. It seems really biased towards Social types, perhaps? I'm not sure if they're more "together" like that. If not please disregard this comment.

[Creepy-female]

Six with Eight: A Trooper-Boss Couple Galen's Moment Of Truth

Eights, whether male or female, are active in the courtship phase, which goes a long way toward eliminating Sixes' doubt. Eights find security in taking charge and offering protection, which fits perfectly with the insecurities of Sixes. Freed of the full task of initiating relationships, Troopers are placed in the safer stance of feeling sought after and needed. Eights are refreshingly confident about their sexuality and about moving into success. This confidence can be liberating to types like Six, who contract and feel guilty about pleasure.
This is a meeting of body and mind rather than romantic sentiment. The partners share an aversion to "gushy sentimentality." Sweet support, which may be entirely well intended, can sound faked to types who see the world as dangerous. Devotion is expressed through physicality and ideas rather than intimate innuendo. Actions and inspiration count more than nurturing tender feelings. Trust emerges largely through observation-by seeing that the partner acts for the benefit of others.
Both types expect adversity and stand together during difficulty. Phobic Sixes stand behind Eight partners, giving loyal support. Counterphobic Sixes, pushing against fear, stand alongside. A excellent interaction shows the bigger-than-life Eight relying on the advice of the more mental and strategic Six. Sixes can wait rather than rushing in to take charge, they can observe complicated motivations, and they are far more political about potential repercussions. Equipped with good counsel, Eights can move mountains. Eights value loyalty, and Sixes are unusually loyal in adversity. Sixes value strength, and Eights are most determined when they are challenged.
The typical position shows Eight in control with Six in support. Eights want action, and Sixes are happier in the more protected role. The situation changes dramatically when they find themselves without a barricade to storm. For all their bravado, Eights find it easier to challenge life, or to support someone else's forward thrust, than to search within themselves for a personal agenda. Without a clear and present call to action, Eights begin to coast, to make trouble, or to support the Six's agenda. Eights are very helpful when they are willing to take an appropriate support position; but they can be a royal pain when they take charge of someone else's life instead of improving their own.
Sixes will find themselves trying to move ahead against massive self-doubt, sometimes encouraged, and sometimes insulted and goaded into action, by the Boss. Eights are protectors, and Troopers want protection, but Sixes can quickly shift from seeing Eights as protectors to seeing them as bullies. From Eights' perspective, there is also a thin line between perceiving Sixes as worthy of protection and as wimps who can't stand up for themselves. Sixes need constant reassurance, which makes them seem weak to Eights, who deny their own weakness. Eights are particularly impatient with doubt and vacillation, which looks both weak and untruthful: "Why can't you make up your mind?" "Are you committed to this, or are you lying?"
The Eight partner, when pushing for the truth, or when seeking to revitalize the relationship, may become punitive and say the worst. Dealing with what now looks like an overbearing and possibly dangerous mate, Six's imagination ignites and moves to the divorce court. Finally the Trooper is up against the wall and, whether phobic or counterphobic, will fight when cornered. The subtext of this struggle is power. The Eight can't surrender control until a mate looks strong and trustworthy, and the Six can't commit fully until the Eight looks less dangerous.
Paradoxically some horrendous battles can have positive repercussions in this relationship. The Six has been goaded into terrifying displays of anger, has said the worst, and has survived. Now it's out. The frightened Six has been bullied into setting the necessary boundaries. The Eight sees the limits and doesn't have to push further for the truth.

[mu4]

Thank you dolphin

[07490]

In Galen's Moment Of Truth, it sounds very happy and loving in the beginning, but in the end, it sounds like it end up in divorce.

[April]

6 and 1 if it's not too much trouble

[Creepy-female]

One with Three: A Perfectionist-Performer Couple

This pair is energetically well matched. They are both active, they both focus on status and social image, and both find their identity through work. Activity is a natural meeting place. They both tend to like sports and exercise, family events, projects for the house. Valuing productivity, each can take pride in the others efforts and success, particularly professional interests. This couple really profits from a weekend away, because relating through activities easily slides into the kind of compulsive doing that blocks out intimacy and feelings. Ones relate by reviewing the day: "Listen to what happened to me today: or "I had this great conversation at lunch." Threes, however, relate to results. Once the job's over, they would rather move on than keep a topic going for its contact value.
Both types are very concerned about what other people think, but they act out that preoccupation in different ways. Ones compare themselves with other people and are scrupulous about the difference between an actual accomplishment and an impressive image. They judge themselves against the highest standards of success and pride themselves in not being taken in by a shallow pose. Ones rarely puff out their image, whereas Threes project an exciting public facade. Threes' public self-presentation can be a source of irritation. Ones will ask, "Is this honest or deliberate deception?" Threes want to look good to people, while Ones want to look right.
Playing to the crowd can look like falsification to Ones and brings up fears about possible dishonesty in other areas of the relationship. Ones are purists. They want absolute honesty, which grates against Threes' deceptive public persona. Meanwhile Performers, convinced that image is a way to earn love, may keep looking for the right way to impress their Perfectionist mates.
Threes retreat when image is attacked, and Ones pursue when they're angry. Anger is liberating to Ones, and they will put the focus of their anger on the table, whether Threes like it or not. If Performers retreat, Perfectionists will bring them back to the table. If Threes can't deal with the image issue, Ones will pick a fight about chores. The peril for this couple shows Three unable to engage in self-reflection and One in angry pursuit. Threes can avert this peril by seeing themselves as 50 percent of the problem and acknowledging that some anger may be appropriate.
Conflicts are best resolved when Ones stay focused on a single area of difficulty. An argument need not become the spark for other resentments. Threes dislike "negative" emotions and generally don't engage in self-reflection unless they can see the point of it all. What matters to Threes is a workable solution that allows them to move on. Threes will come to the table to resolve a problem, but they dislike having the discussion spread, especially to sins of the past.
In a fight Ones have total grievance recall. They think, "You did it once and you might do it again. Have you really changed?" But past grievances are anathema to Threes. "OK, I admitted I was wrong. I paid my dues. Now why can't you forgive and forget?" It helps when Threes can deal with the early signals of Ones' anger while it's still attached to a specific issue. It is not productive for Threes to evade a confrontation by pleading work commitments. Discussions have to be put on the schedule. It also helps if Ones can remember that Threes slip easily into image and that social facades may be just a different way of meeting the world rather than telling a lie.

[Gilly]

6 and 1 if it's not too much trouble

You underestimate yourself.

[Galen]

Six with Eight: A Trooper-Boss Couple Galen's Moment Of Truth

<3

That sounds a lot like my relationship with my dad. He easily takes the role of leader, and depending on the situation I see him as someone worth helping or just someone trying to force his own agenda on others. What does it mean about sixes "feeling guilty about pleasure" though?

[Creepy-male]

Five with Eight

Please

[Wynch]

7 and 9?

This has been an interesting read so far. I laughed at the 7 and 4 description because the middle of it basically highlighted what I keep saying about 4's making me claustrophobic.

[Gilly]

3 and 6, por favor

Also 3 and 8 would be nice

[Creepy-male]

Mmm, everyone else is liking these relationship descriptions. Could be an interesting typing exercise, hit me up with a double Nine please!